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South74 Offline OP
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I did but sometimes it what you dont know cat hurt you and currently I don't know so it can't hurt me .
Might be lining myself up for more hurt but at the moment I am happy with life .


Me 40
W 37
Together 22 years
S18
D12
WaW 12/08/14 after affair exposed , suspected for several months
W returned home for 2 weeks to see if can handle family life
After the 2 weeks she has left .
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 205
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South74 Offline OP
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Well it's been a few months and I'm struggling with dropping the rope .
I feel like I could be waiting for ever .
I have no idea what my W is doing or thinking .
She has become more distant with the kids . It's half term this week and she has made no attempts to contact or even arrange to meet or see kids this holiday


Me 40
W 37
Together 22 years
S18
D12
WaW 12/08/14 after affair exposed , suspected for several months
W returned home for 2 weeks to see if can handle family life
After the 2 weeks she has left .
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,906
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South it has been 3.5 years for me. I struggled at 1st really bad. One day it just goes away. Not 100% but it does get better. I think that if you stop waiting for her you will feel better. Many who reconciled had trully moved on with their lives. Not saying to lose hope. Just live your life. Make yourself happy cause only you can. The more you wonder what shes thinking or doing the longer you will hurt. We all did the same thing. Some still do even after years. Br kind to yourself


M 53
D 20
Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24
Together 26 yrs
Married 16
W Filed for D 7/21/11
Served 9/6/11
D final 8/28/12

“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”

John Wooden





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South74 Offline OP
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Son went to IC today and when talking to him afterwards he mentioned that when he told counseller that he had not had much contact with his mum that the counsellor mentioned that it could be because she is spending a lot of time with OM and that she feels bad and having no contact is her way of dealing with her new relationship .
So I'm wondering if she will eventually cut contact altogether with the kids .

My son seems a bit happier since seeing the counsellor which is good .


Me 40
W 37
Together 22 years
S18
D12
WaW 12/08/14 after affair exposed , suspected for several months
W returned home for 2 weeks to see if can handle family life
After the 2 weeks she has left .
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,942
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edz Offline
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Hi South

sorry to hear things are rough for you at the moment, the one and only things I console myself with regarding my S is how resilient I know he is. It kills me that he has to be and why my W cant see the damage and stress she's causing to us, to him but I can only hope she does realise and wants to try again.

My thread got locked but theres a new one if you want to pop by.

Eds new thread


Last edited by edz; 10/30/14 11:03 PM.

M:44, W:46, S:10
M 13 years, T 15
BD:23/7/2014
W/S Moved to MIL: 23/7/2014
My new place: 21/11/2014
W/S back to flat 22/11/2014
W coming closer, talking 4/2015
Piecing 5/2015
Moving in again 6/2015
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Posts: 1,720
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South.

Glad your S appt with the C went well - and its good that he knows that you're there for him. Just keep being a good dad and you'll be alright.


Both mid 30s, 2 young kids
BD 7sep14
XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1
D paperwork in progress
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South74 Offline OP
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Thanks guys .
One BIG positive from all this is my relationship with my S has never been so close and good .


Me 40
W 37
Together 22 years
S18
D12
WaW 12/08/14 after affair exposed , suspected for several months
W returned home for 2 weeks to see if can handle family life
After the 2 weeks she has left .
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 205
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South74 Offline OP
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So W is going to dinner tonight with some of her work colleagues so can't have daughter for the night .
I'm at work tonight and it's good that daughter is old enough to stay on her own.

Seriously how long do I put up with having to deal with an upset daughter because W has more important thing to do than seeing here own daughter . This after a whole week of no contact and no attempts to spend any time with either of the kids . It was half term last week.

This is insane especially for the people who want to see there kids and can't .


Me 40
W 37
Together 22 years
S18
D12
WaW 12/08/14 after affair exposed , suspected for several months
W returned home for 2 weeks to see if can handle family life
After the 2 weeks she has left .
Joined: Aug 2014
Posts: 708
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South, I'm so sorry that your W's behavior is impacting the kids. It's so hurtful, and there's nothing we can really do about it without being labeled the bad guy. Be glad that your kid is seeing a C -- I can't get mine to go right now.
On the one hand, I envy the fact that you get to spend as much time with your kids as you want, since your W is checked out; on the other hand, I know that that situation is not in the kids' best interest. They do need to know that their mom still loves them and chooses them over anything else.

My H chose to have his GF overnight and gave up a day with our D14; he is also missing the teacher conference to go visit her. He tries to make it up to her by being the "fun dad" and doing lots of activities with her (which he NEVER did before). I guess I should be grateful, since it's good for D14, but it does pain my heart in some ways.


M: 43 H: 39
D: 14
Married 15 Together 16
BD: 6/2014
S: 8/2014
OW revealed 10/2014
Instigated dissolution 12/2014, in progress
So over it!
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South74 Offline OP
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Thanks ahoy .
Thing is daughter is mind reading and assuming that her mum is spending time with OM over seeing her.

Ohh well daughter has planned her evening and I'm only a 15 minute drive away.


Me 40
W 37
Together 22 years
S18
D12
WaW 12/08/14 after affair exposed , suspected for several months
W returned home for 2 weeks to see if can handle family life
After the 2 weeks she has left .
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