Oh Mighty. Have been following your posts, and I so feel for you. What these men have done to us is totaly ridiculous. Part of our hurt is that of course we take it personally as the worst possible rejection. But the truth is that it has nothing to do with YOU and everything to do with your husband's lack of character and his insecurities. I don't know if that helps at all, but I think if you take a step back, it might give you some comfort and perspective. This new life of his won't bring him more happiness than yours did - he is missing something inside himself and is trying to fill the hole with something that is only a temporary fix and probably worse in the end.
Engaged Aug 2009 Fiancé had doubts Jan 2010 Happily re-engaged July 2012 Discovery of affair July 2014 Separated July 2014 Fiancé is confused about whom to choose Chose the OW Oct 2014
M, I am not surprised that ow is who she is. The MLCer most always affairs down....sometimes way, way down.
I cannot imagine how it feels to know that she is pregnant. I do agree with my friend, Bea. It was both of them. He could have chose differently.
I see such strength in you and such courage. I think that the idea of this baby being born is getting really big in your mind. That's not to say it isnt a big thing, because it is. But I think the anticipation of it, and what people are going to say and how your children will react, is causing you a lot of anxiety.
I always say that MLC doesnt give them a free pass. They still have to own their actions one day. But he is in crisis and he doesnt feel the things you do. He just cant. He is too busy trying to feel better. The sad thing is that he probably doesnt feel better and when the baby is born, he still wont.
So, there isnt anything you can do to change the fact that this baby is coming...except your mindset. I get the anger, the frustration and the outrage. I really do.
But the more you hold onto all the bad feelings, the more they get control of you. Dont give them one more ounce, M. Not one more.
That relationship is built on the destruction of a family with lies and deceit as its foundation. It is a house of cards which will come tumbling down.
But that doesnt matter right now. What matters is you and your children. Leave them to have to live with their choices.
She is not worthy of your headspace, M. Not at all.
Wouldn't it be justice if the baby comes out with some ethnic background indication that is not either your H's or OW's?
Twisting on Life's Rope Me53 W53 M20 D21 D19 D16 BD 2-2013 D final 1-2015 _________________________ "Dream about tomorrow, Live for today, Learn from yesterday"
Yup, you guys. YOU ARE RIGHT! and.... I am GOOD!!!!! I'm telling you. I feel better every day. I am starting to get control of myself!
I even feel like I can handle seeing her. In fact, I had a thought today...
I need the external hard-drive from xh. I have asked him a couple of times for it. (Here is the weird thing- xh is very ocd and organized. He knows where everything is! He said the other day that he would have to look for it. What??? I was annoyed thinking of it there... it has all my documents on it and all of our family photos. She has it. But, it's ok. She su<ks, and I ain't sweatin her!)
However, I had this thought of going to their house, texting him when I'm about 1 second away, and telling him I'm coming to get it. At this point, I have no problem walking right up to that house. What has happened to me? I donno... but I like it.
I am not afraid to see her. Yeah, I will feel it, but I've got nothing to worry about. She is garbage and not worth the scum on the bottom of my shoe. Skank.
(That info made me feel better too. Even as my friend said, well now you know her friends think she is a scumbag, too.)
I had a vivid dream last night- the first one that he wasn't in! Yes! (It was lame and weird though... but NOT HIM!) And he wasn't my first thought when I woke up. OK, second.... but not first!
The thought of her being so selfish... well xh is pretty selfish. This is not going to end well. Two selfish greedy people who would rather look out for themselves.... yeah, ok. Good luck.
Yes! I've got this. Really. You guys are the best. Thank you!
Ummmmmm.... LT, you don't know how many times I've thought about that. THAT would be funny.
Once you see her and you don't burst into flames, you will feel even better.
I gracefully faced down my H's OW and I watched her visibly shrink. It was great. And I was all class!
You can be the classy one who holds your head high. You have nothing to be embarrassed about or feel ashamed by.
You are MIGHTY!
---(G)GGG
Me 54 Him 63 M 23 T 29 0 Kids Funny Farm of Rescues 12/12 OW-- 5/13 ILYBINILWY: A denied 9/13 Proof OW: ENDED 2/14 Got D papers on my BD I kicked him out for my sanity 9/14 He wants to "talk"?
Yes, GGG! And for the record, I wasn't afraid of her, I was afraid of seeing her because I was afraid of what I would do. This chick doesn't know me.... obviously.
Last minute trip planned!!!! D13 and I are going to NYC for the weekend! We are going with my sil and niece16. Can't wait!
S17 is going to Penn State football game with my brothers and gang. They have been going to a different college game every year. It's a group of father/son's.
S17 didn't want to go at first because it was father/son, and his father isn't going this year. I felt so bad. My brothers were adamant that he go. The did not want him to miss out. They have been wonderful. So s17 is going!
We will all be leaving on xh's b-day. Which, considering it's Halloween, we have always made a night of it. I always wanted it to be special for the kids, but special for xh, too! So we had our traditions for the day. So glad we will be all out of town!
One thing I wanted to share with you. When my h was still living with me and seeing her, she did some really awful things. She sent flowers to him. She called me and there was some other stuff, too.
The thing of it is, I never called her names. I get it when people do. I understand the anger, but, that wasnt who I wanted to be. But more importantly, that just kept me in the anger, ya know?
I knew she wasnt worthy because of the choices she made. I didnt want to give her any importance at all by acknowledging her. She didnt matter. Not one bit.
So, she didnt get any of my energy, my thoughts or my feelings. Nope. Nada.
He probably doesn't want to give you the external hard drive because he's got some crap in it that he doesn't want you to see. So how about giving him a thumb drive and a list of the folders you need off of the hard drive?
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