Edz - continuing to move forward

[edz]

Not to mention my ps2, ps3 and ps1 The Wii....I'm leaving for W and S (although did consider modding it for gamecube as dolphin is slow at emulation even on my overclocked i5 4670k!)

[jim0987]

Retro!

[edz]

Yup used to be a serious tech head. Well still am at work, decided to jettison it moving forward though. One of my 180s. Yes, I love technology but disappearing into it is one of the ways I've ended up here. Not the only one and not throwing out the baby with the bathwater but I need to poke my head up and spend at least part of the time in the real world much as I (as a very very serious introvert) dont like it.

Interestingly this really concerned my Son, spoke to him and told him not to worry but he seemed really upset that Daddy isnt into his computers any more. Of course W just told him not to be silly and told me to talk to him. Nice.

[jim0987]

I can understand that. I reduced my computer time massively just to hang around my W - look where that got me.

I started being weak and insecure so she fell for the guy at work.

[edz]

Hi Jim, yup I think I've retreated more into it in recent years as well. I took on some out of hours third party work to make some extra money telling myself it was for the family to pay bills, of course it meant trading in my weekends and family time.

How much would I like to give that money back for that time now.

[jim0987]

Another of my wife's complaints is that I was too concerned with money - had to work to earn. Had to earn to be secure.

She thought it was about the money. For me it was about trying to make her happy with stuff rather than giving her the care and attention she craved. She would have been happy in a shoe box as long as it was our shoebox. Now I have a big empty house I would trade in a heartbeat.

[edz]

Yup I can imagine how you feel mate I really can. My case I was seeing it as helping the family when I was really pushing them away.

In our case we spent every penny on my s's education so we have nothing tacit to show or split either.

W has also undone a lot of it with her push for Home education, we spoke about this the other day when she was telling me about sending him to state school now in January so she can work (she hasnt told him yet so that will be fun for her in January - I am absolutely not taking that heat, she pulled him from school really between her and MIL planning to start home education which I was ramping up for in July when she took him and walked away - while I agree him going back to school is the best thing he's going to go nuts. He's already pushing back at W as he wants to be with me / us all together so this is going to really cause trouble. I try to maintain a united front but at some point if she's living alone with him and pushing her / her mums rules on him without me - she's going to have to take the innevitable consequences. Sadly my W hasnt had to deal with consequences for 15 years as I've been around to absorb blame and costs so its going to be a rude awakening.

Sorry went off on a tangent there.

[edz]

Really wish you could edit posts after 40 seconds have passed!

Just to clarify as the above makes it sound like Im using S as a weapon. Absolutely not doing that. Just W keeps changing the rules for him, one minute he cant come to the flat then he can in the day then he cant as MIL gets upset when he complains about living there in comparison (which if you ask me is a fair comment) then he can and he can stay because W is moving back.

In Summer he's told he's leaving school so we can move up north and he can have an expanded education, now its July and it will just be MIL and W teaching him and now, in january, its not convenient and he's not putting in the effort so its a normal school again away from his old friends and his new HE friends.

Poor little tike, I just worry that he's going to really suffer in all this and while W says everything she does she does for him she cant seem to see nothing she's presently doing (and by presently I dont mean the HE - she runs around like a mad thing doing that NOW but it will end, or be massively reduced to tutoring at most, January) is for S but is to placate her mothers never ending mood swings and to push her agenda of being on her own - which seems to be creating nothing but negatives before she even gets going (She's been asking me about £400 Tv sets so she doesnt feel S will have better with me - I'm not trying to create a competition but I'm a 25 year tech veteran I'm always going to have more tech).

I of course want to run in and save the day but I just cant let myself and I cant help but think this is just going to (A) upset S and (B) cause stress between he and my W and ultimately me and her as well.

She will not discuss it with me though, this is what she's doing and nothing is going to stop her, especially not me. I just hope S doesnt turn around in a few years and turn his back on her for it as one of my best friends did to his mother when much the same happened to him many years ago.

[edz]

Last thought on the above, all I can really do under the situation is be there for my S, I will always be available to him and put his interests as my utmost (sometimes this may not be apparent to him) and while I will absolutely try to be of one voice with W for stability and for discipline and for his own good, if it all gets too much and he can get to me he will have a place wherever I am.

[jim0987]

Sounds rough. But you already know the key is to be the best you can for your S