Make fb show him gal! Get in his face with what he's missing, but just by way
It's gunna keep him connected and thinking of you if your name appears in his news feed. Just my 2cents. So long as your stuff is just positive pic of the kids and outtings no cryptic double meaning stuff that could be taken either way.
M 46 h54 Both married before T 11y Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads! Ms 18 hs 26
Maybell, I wouldn't worry too much about the FB thing, he didn't necessarily friend her out of undying love, maybe she just sent him a request and he accepted out of wimpiness or maybe out of curiosity.. who knows! Don't let it ruin your PMA.
It's so easy to read into the posts, comments, likes... and of course we try to figure out the meaning behind everything and often we are wrong. I do this all the time so I banned myself from looking at his profile for a while and that helped a lot.
Try not to let it bug you too much and just use FB to your advantage with awesome pics and posts of you GALing away. Even if H doesn't notice, at least your friends and relatives will be jealous of how amazing your life is and how gorgeous you look!
I totally know what you are going through, similar FB strife on my end here too.
I accept that he has some sort of relationship with her which I can not control. I also accept that he will lie and/or dodge accepting responsibility for the truth of this relationship and its consequences on our family.
I also accept that he is not going to change or become a more responsible or admirable person anytime soon.
I accept that he is not a person with whom a relationship would be either healthy or desirable right now.
None of these truths MUST harm me. They are no commentary on my desirability, on my quality, or my worthiness.
I can decide to walk away at any time because I have that power and right, regardless of his choices. I also have the power and right to remain standing for the marriage until I am done. I am not yet done and that's ok. I do not owe anyone any explanation for that choice.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
You can also protect you, from his issues. So blocking his stuff from your eyes feed is ok and best for you. Or even if you want unfriending.
Darkness is not to make them do anything, it's to help you gain space and clarity and healing. Hence I'm still pretty dark. He doesn't contact yet blames me for the darkness.
He has taken the victim role totally 100% and all his assciates the same stance. Angry woman should be tossed to the curb in most men's opinion. Read the dance of anger I have read it in the past, it's very eye opening and I cannot believe I had forgotten I had the damn thing. It would have been so helpful last year.
M 46 h54 Both married before T 11y Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads! Ms 18 hs 26
I see my psychiatrist twice a year for 15 minutes. Last time I talked to him I gave him a 3 minute version of what had happened and how I'm trying to handle it. He told me that while it isn't easy, he's never seen me look better. He said "in the past, you've been overwhelmed by your problems and have tried to run from them or avoid them. Now you have bigger problems, but so what, you're DEALING with them. The only people without problems are dead people, so keep learning tools to handle them as they come and it will work out". I feel I could say the same for you. This stinks, but you're taking it head on, steering your attitude, handling the bad feelings as they come, and living in a way that you can be proud of.
Oh, he also said "you're up here and she's down here. (Hand gestures). She's blaming you for everything and avoiding her own problems. As long as that happens you have to keep moving on by yourself. You can't go down there to be with her. She'll need to decide to come up here to be with you. Not everyone can do that but that's the only way."
Point is it made me realize they just aren't strong enough. Has nothing to do with you or I. Just a hard hill to climb. But we have to keep on the path. With or without them there is nothing good for us 'down there'.
Me:38 XW:38 T:11 years M:8 years Kids: S14, D11, D7 BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
