Maybell XVII

[Maybell]

Some of my goals had had to do with him liking things I posted on FB. I'm thinking of unfriend ing him but I'm so upset right now that I don't think I should make thus decision today.

[Georgiabelle]

Maybell,

I'm sorry you are having a tough day. I name dropped and unfriended xh when he was openly with OW. Was it the right thing to do? Honestly I have no clue. I just felt funny listing someone as my h when they were discussing their R with OW. No rush on your decision. Mull it over and whatever you decide will be what's best for you. Social media has really changed some things that we never thought required a discussion.

Sending you positive vibes :-)

[Maybell]

How should I act when he arrives with kids in 20 minutes?

I am a STRONG woman. This is not going to floor me. My values and goals have not changed. But I am very angry.

[raliced]

Maybell - this is just me - but I think reacting out of anger never helps the situation, particularly if your kids are around and, much like the decision to unfriend, you should let this sit for a day or two. If its possible - I would try to just maintain the status quo (not sure how long your exchanges last) and not let him see you are upset. I know that is very very hard to do - and lord knows I have failed at it several times recently. Worst case scenario - maybe tell him you will talk to him about it later.

[Maybell]

Thank you. What I thought was right too. But I'm angry and not sure how clearly I'm thinking.

[raliced]

I know- All I can say is that my biggest regrets about how I have handled myself since BD all revolve around reactions I had when I was really angry about some fresh outrage. And I can say- those reaction, however justified, invariably made the situation worse.

Good Luck!

[Georgiabelle]

Maybell,

Raliced is right. One thing I've learned is that reacting never gives desired results. Be cordial and happy to see the kids.

[Old Dog]

Can you make it a quick handover? Less chance of anger surfacing.

And re Facebook. You can unfriendly him and he won't know, but he will still be able to see and comment on your posts. I found that I was always looking for my wife's posts or comments and my heart would jump or sink or something or other. My flatmate advised me to unfriendly and I'm glad I did. It has help me with detaching.

Come on girl, you can do this. You are super strong. We're all rooting for you.

[Maybell]

He is gone and I was normal.

Yes, I am strong and I can do this.

I prayed for clarity and I can't tell if this is the sign I prayed for or if this was a necessary step on the path to reconciliation.

But good for me for controlling myself. At least I know my changes are taking root. For whatever the future holds.

Thank you all for rallying.

[raliced]

Atta girl Maybell! Proud of you!