I think when they make a decision to go its natural they will concentrate on negative memories more - its a defence mechanism. So rough for a while becomes terrible for years.
Look up confirmation bias and you'll get the idea
Both mid 30s, 2 young kids BD 7sep14 XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1 D paperwork in progress
I almost made this a separate thread but decided to keep it on my home thread: l
DBers, what is your favorite quote (or quotes) of all time? Could be motivational, funny, whatever.
Mine is:
Originally Posted By: Thoreau
Simplify, simplify, simplify.
I have been able to apply it to almost any situation in my life, including DBing. Ask yourself what is important (to you, to a situation/problem, to your goals in life, whatever it may be). Answering that question is the hardest part. Once you have that in focus, it is easy to simplify and forget the rest of the nonsense in your life. I think it is especially important to ask yourself these questions when you're doing through trauma like we are. Is that job promotion, new car, larger house, etc REALLY what you want? Is that what you want to spend your time on this Earth pursuing?
Me 38, WAW 30 D11 (former marriage) S2 T 8 years M 3 years BD 8/20/23 S 8/20/23
It's still a roller coaster, but I'm still making progress emotionally. WAW cancelled on church (again) this morning, but she still met me at the gym this afternoon for a spin class. That was also where were doing the D2 handoff (me to WAW). When we went to the kids area to pick her up, D2 say me and said, "Daddy!" Then she saw WAW and said, "Mommy! Mommy AND daddy!" We smiled at each other. Then we were walking out to the parking lot, me holding D2's hand. Then D2 says, "Hold mommy's hand, too." So WAW grabbed her other hand, and there we were walking joyfully as a family, even if it was for that moment. D2 capped it with another, "Mommy AND daddy!" I still pray she gets a lifetime full of those memories, but today I was able to just enjoy that moment without being distraught about the current sitch. I was also able to give WAW several "love deposits" via her LL's. Great day
Me 38, WAW 30 D11 (former marriage) S2 T 8 years M 3 years BD 8/20/23 S 8/20/23
"Mommy! Mommy AND daddy!" We smiled at each other. Then we were walking out to the parking lot, me holding D2's hand. Then D2 says, "Hold mommy's hand, too." So WAW grabbed her other hand, and there we were walking joyfully as a family, even if it was for that moment. D2 capped it with another, "Mommy AND daddy!" I still pray she gets a lifetime full of those memories, but today I was able to just enjoy that moment without being distraught about the current sitch. I was also able to give WAW several "love deposits" via her LL's. Great day
Oh how I love these little slices of life.
Me 47 - W 35 M 9 - T 10 2 Daughters - 7 & 9 Discovery of EA- 8/4/14 S - 8/5/15 D mentioned - 9/11/14 R & Piecing - 3/17/15 Regard one another as more important than yourselves. - Philippians 2:3
Im glad you had that moment. When I read it my heart sank. My thoughts lately have been more about the kids right now then the M. I am excited to move and spend time with the kids but im also trying to prepare for the heart wrenching moments where they either ask difficult questions or say things like your D said. Your reaction to this is a good example as to how to view the scene. stay strong man.
Me 38 WAW 40 S 10 S 5 M 5 years BD 10/04/14 S 10/04/14
WAW just told me that I should date to see what I want because she is going to eventually. This has not sunk in yet and it's going to sting like a b**ch when it does.
Me 38, WAW 30 D11 (former marriage) S2 T 8 years M 3 years BD 8/20/23 S 8/20/23
She told me that in person in my driveway before she drove away. She also said its not an affair if we're separated. Just got a text: "I'm sorry". Not responding to that
Me 38, WAW 30 D11 (former marriage) S2 T 8 years M 3 years BD 8/20/23 S 8/20/23
