Newcomer living in Hell

[bravo61]

saw the W at the soccer game today. she was beautiful and we talked a little at the game. she came over to stand by me and she had a somewhat low cut top on. i know she saw me glance at one point. my little girl kinda pulled on her top and W said, no you are done with those. then she asked if i saw that and pointed out that she was talking bout her breasts while smiling at me as i looked at what she was talking about (while standing near hear and she was in a chair). she relayed a story bout D rubbing on her belly and saying look at it shake. while she relayed the story she started rubbing my belly while telling the story. i told her thanks now i feel fat. she said that i was being ridiculous and i looked great. she touched my arms a couple times while we were talking. she kinda uninvited me to the pumpkin patch they are going to today. the kids did not like that. she said that she was worried bout me getting enough sleep (worked last night and tonight). so she invited me to lunch. walked them to the car and she said that if they find a good place, she wants us to go later in the month on a day when i will be will rested. at the field while helping her with spectator gear (chair, snacks, etc) she slipped and called me baby. i didn't acknowledge it. when the left the restaurant she gave me a big close hug (she got out of the car to give it) and i kissed her forehead. God i miss my family. i wonder if she ever thinks bout sex with the ex (that would be nice), but would love to just kiss her and hold her (she always loved the way i kissed her). on a side note, i got an offer through my credit card for a Hawaii trip. where we are lots of folks go there and i told her about it. she said "you know, out here going there is not such a huge travel problem like back home. we could actually take the kids at some point". not expecting it but that would be nice. any thoughts?

[bravo61]

looking forward to the road trip starting next sun. 3 1/2 days of opportunity to show off who i am now. and i have absolutely no expectations outside of having a great time! if she warms up great, that's a bonus. i know she's prolly a little nervous bout spending that time with me for several reasons. 1) worried i'll pressure her 2) worried i'll revert back to angry, grumpy Bravo or 3)she'll not be able to deny who i am now and start to wonder what a marriage would be like w/Bravo V2. i'll go ahead and tell you now though, i'm gonna be sleeping in only boxer briefs so as to show off my physical improvements;).

[CMS]

bravo,

I am by far an expert on DB. Your sitch seems like hell but you also can look at it as opportunity.My wife and I are in 2 different states on opposite ends of the country right now. I can't wait to move up there so I can be around my kids. The side effect to that is with being close by and around kids she will get to see my 180's more often. It may be frustrating and I know all too well how emotionally challenging this all is. But truly use this as an opportunity some don't have. A long trip to show 180. Keep constantly in mind what your doing and every natural impulse do the opposite. Hard but if you see this as the opportunity it is angry bravo can look at positives and be happy.

[bravo61]

Thanks CMS.
Feel for you in regards to the distance. We were separated by 2,648 miles when she moved out here 10 months ahead of me. During that time & distance, she realized she didn't want old me(can't say I blame her). Don't make the early mistake I did by saying "see all my changes?". I realized that's pretty manipulative. A lighthouse doesn't tell everyone it's a lighthouse, it's pretty self evident. I would love to get some female perspective. Laugh, lisa, ss, Sandi2, 25yrs,Claire, any others? Where y'all at?

[bravo61]

I've seen some posters have had D papers file on them and then w/drawn. Just curious ,esp if they were WAS, how did they start to soften and let y'all know they were moving back towards you? Wonder if I can find a common thread from several success stories of like behavior to look for so if I see it I can have a plan and not push too hard yet subtly leave the door open. I'm sure the WAS doesn't want to lose face when they come back. My W would have to face a lot of her friends and admit she was wrong. What slight nudges or phrases did y'all use that worked that didn't put you out there too far (pursuing)? Especially curious for those that did divorce and reconciled. Thanks and PLEASE HELP!!!

[bravo61]

Saw the W this am when I went to pick kids up for church. Kids pitched a fit & wanted to go to church with her. They r very anxious w/out her cause Daddy left why wouldn't she. She got flustered and mentioned she wanted to go by herself. Told her I understood cause I've taken them to church by myself since I've been here. Performed a 180 by letting her deal w/them as she saw fit and didn't step in. Showed her I knew she could handle it. She kinda stayed around near me and when I was leaving, she followed me to the door and was the firstto open her arms for a deep (intimate type) hug.
On a positive note, im going skydiving tomorrow! Working on some GAL.

[bravo61]

Can any tell me why the vets are hard to find? Sure could use some guidance.

I believe she's starting to feel some pressure regarding her decisions. Certainly not from her butt friends. I think they may be the biggest deciding factor regarding how fast this is moving forward. Argh!!!!

[bravo61]

i just got back from skydiving. it was awesome!!! working on some Gal. actually feel a little detached right now. but as we all know that could change at any moment. prolly this evening when i see the W at soccer practice. but i'll have the kids the next couple of days.

[Card29]

Talk about a GAL activity! Have you ever been before? Was it tandem?

[bravo61]

first time, it was tandem. always wanted to do it-ended up booking on Mon night. jumped from plane at 13k feet. instructor let me land us. pretty awesome! i'm gonna try to do something like this once a week. i think next week i'm just gonna walk the streets of portlandia or go hiking in forest park or go to silverton or bike the veronia banks bike trail. going to see the W in a few, wish me luck. oh yeah, didn't tell her i was doing it.