A New Day

[TSquared2]

Is there a default clause in the decree? That if no response after X amount of time it goes through as stipulated?

I am putting that in mine, because I know how stbxw works (she even says she's spacey and all over the place mentally).

[Lifes Twists]

I actually have not even seen the agreement yet. Shortly after my attorney got it wife was back in hospital. Then attorney got message from her attorney that a lot of things were changing as she was going to sign over her affairs to her father and a new agreement would come shortly. Then nothing. I told my attorney to not spend time on it till we hear something. I am now trying to get word from her attorney if the agreement is still on the table or if a new one is coming. His initial response is that he is having difficulty communicating with my wife.

[TSquared2]

Hmmm... one of the reasons I am doing the filing is that both of us know how stbxw operates and if we left it up to her it would be a long, drawn out mess and take forever.

Could you file your own petition?

[Lifes Twists]

I have, but hers takes precedence. Either way, if we don't have an agreement it will just keep moving along and costing us bot thousands of dollars.

[TSquared2]

ugh...I'm sorry...

[Lifes Twists]

So, I have been trying to get my lawyer back under control and he is not responding to my email. I sent email telling him what I would send in terms of money to get the d agreement reviewed. I set the amount at $300.00. I think the reason he is not responding is the hope to milk more cash because of wifes mental illness. I think he feels he can at least get 2 or three more court appearances and thousands more dollars. I figure I will give him till monday and then go to the court and find out how to fire him and represent myself for the remainder of the divorce. Right now there is really only one thing remaining and that is the house. I already have a court agreement regarding our children. I don't think it is worth paying him for multiple more court dates when it should already be set to wrap up. I don't even feel I need him if my wife won't communicate with her lawyer. They have already presented a draft agreement before she went into the hospital a month ago. I feel she thinks the divorce is done and does not want to deal with it anymore until the agreement is reviewed.

[Lifes Twists]

So, today after much prodding I finally got a copy of the divorce agreement that my lawyer received from her lawyer almost 2 months ago. After reading it I actually feel really bad about how sick my wife is. She basically is walking away from everything including the house. The house has $100,000.00 in equity right now. I can't imagine how ill you have to be to walk away from that. She is waving any right to alimony and everything else is equal.

Some would say that I should take the deal and run with it. Personally I cannot take advantage of someone who is ill. I won't be happy with myself nor able to sleep at night if I do that. I will approach this a proposed change. I will ask to remain in the house till the kids are through school or the youngest reaches 21 years old. I will then sell the house and split the proceed with a percentage based on the number of months each party paid into the house mortgage. I will also stipulate that within that period if I should die that my wife will receive full ownership of the house to do with as she sees fit.

I think this is only fair. I hope she sees it this way. I can at least feel good and sleep with this.

[TSquared2]

I hope she sees it this way. I can at least feel good and sleep with this.

And that matters, a lot.

Class, Honor, Dignity

[Lifes Twists]

So, finally seeing the draft agreement has allowed me to make some plans without the total unknown hanging over me. Based on her decision to turn the house over to me, I feel I can now start working on it again. There is nothing like living in an unfinished house without the ability to work on it.

I rewrote the sections of the divorce that troubled me and sent it back to my lawyer. I told him I had $1000.00 to finish this divorce. I told him i felt this was enough and if he didn't to let me know so I could find alternative route to finishing this.

I am amazed at how much effort my wife is making right now to not see me or speak to me. I suspect this is typical behavior to avoid being reminded of the pain they have caused. I know that her therapy is working on helping her to get her emotions out. My kids tell me that she is expressing emotions finally that she has kept inside for so long. I know she has needed to learn this for a long time. I hope it will help her to move along on her own growth.

[daring]

Life's Twists- I just want to say what an honorable and good man you are. I'm sorry that you are going through all of this and that your wife is so ill. I am just so impressed with your handling of it all. I know good things are in your future!