Today is the greatest

[Ggrass]

Haha....Heather....

Bklyn, unbelievable..... You'll need a HUGE PATIENCE SHOVEL.

..... To be used as you wish.

Oh dear, I really would like to slap her I'm the face flat side first!

Does that fix it bk?

I have a tank stand so when your finished slapping her, can burry her under it!

[NLW]

Hey Bklyn,

I feel like this is another one from the 'you just wouldn't believe it' files.

I also think it's part of the deal for a lot of mlc-ers and their OWs.

They seem to need to show themselves to us as a way of making it seem like 'everything is normal' - that what they have done is OK and right.

In my case, my local supermarket (where I did all my day-to-day shopping) was taken over by OW (who had NEVER shopped there before), as was my local coffee place (again, she'd never been there before).

Luckily, I had the option of just going elsewhere. But then she started showing up at my new supermarket ... but that's another story.

What i think is going on is that they WANT us to see them. In my case, to provoke confrontation, so that they can confirm what a bi-ch we really are.

They need this confirmation.

I fed into this for a while... but, now, I just feel sorry for both XH and OW. What a sad pair of truly inadequate human beings they are.

Could it help at all if you took on this mind-set?

How awful that she is doing what she is doing. How weird that she is not ashamed of herself. What sort of person would do what she has done?

Just try to think of her as the damaged goods that she is. If you run across her, feel pity.

Either she knows what she has done and how wrong it is... or she simply has no clue whatsoever. Either way, this is pretty sad state to live one's life in.

[BklynMom]

Thank you all so much for posting.

I feel sooo much better today. WHich only goes to show I am actually doing something right. When this latest news happened I posted all my rage here and since then I have gone to an Alanon meeting and read my Alanon literature and voila I am feeling sane again only 36 hours later.

Im really am the type of emotional person that needs to rage and needs to allow myself to go through the rage before I can heal. I stuffed my anger for so long and it came out in other less healthy ways. So now you guys are the lucky ones that get to read my tirades.

Yes exactly NLW - I need to see her as the damaged goods she is and you are right they (her and my ex) are just begging for me to prove to the world how justified their behavior is because I am such a B!tch. Well they aint gonna get it.

Its so strange how they really do want to provoke.

La di da - I got all the good stuff. SHe got my leftovers and they aint good leftovers.

Thank you all so so so so so so much. For all your love and your evil thoughts about her. Thank you thank you thank you.

[BklynMom]

Guys I am feeling really down again.

Kids came home from a weekend with ex and his gf and I lost in front of my kids. D6 was saying how Jess did her braid then saying they all had a pillow fight. Next time they go over my girls and Jess are gonna bake a cake for Jess' mothers birthday. Wtf!! I can't handle this

I know this normal but I can't handle this even with db and alanon. I want them to die. I hate them. My heart is broken and I hate them.

I wish I could do better and be stronger and move on. Other families do this and it's all honky dory.

This hooker has invaded every aspect of my life and she acts like she is so nice. That is a joke. I just wish the world knew it. Instead I can't say anything or else I look bad. I wish them the worst pain in the world. I do not forgive them. I hate them

[LoisB]

Brook,

What do you want your life to look like?

I know the Ho is a reality for now...but remove her from your mind...just for a bit and envision the home of your dreams where she can't touch you or hurt you and the girls ever again. What does YOUR life look like in this scenario?

[Mighty]

Brook, I am so sorry you are down. I can't imagine sending my kids off like that. I am lucky enough that they are older and can make that choice. But it is a double-edged sword, because they are older so they get what is going on.

That must be tough, and my thoughts are with you. I can tell you that your girls hold you way higher above her. She is no competition. She has to work to try to win them over. It will get old for her. She has to put in the effort now, just like they do to get their claws into our husbands. But, their true colors will show eventually with everyone.

I understand how you feel about wanting everyone to know how awful they are. I felt a lot of that. You know, Brook. I think a lot of the time, people know, but don't say. It's not like they have this fairy tale to tell. It's all wrong.

I am also thinking about you with the work sitch. It reminds me of how I felt knowing xh and hww bought a house nearby. I refuse to drive by there. The street is two blocks from my house, on the same street as kids school. I get a sick feeling every time I go there. I was so worried about going to the store with fear I would see them. It felt like terrorism. I know that is such an invasion for her to enter your space like that... again. I'm sorry. It will get easier, and you will find more confidence there. You own it. She can't own you. She will never hold a candle to you. She is broken, insecure, confused, selfish. You are so above her. I mean, like so totally above. Don't let her get to ya, Brook. I know it's hard.

I am thinking of you.

[FunDad]

I'm so sorry Brook. That is so unacceptable and wrong. I wept when I read what's happened to you. You need someone to hold you now. A friend, a family member, it will get better, but for now, have someone close and just let it out. Hating them is only going to make it worse for you. I'm so so sorry.

Know there are people who know what you are feeling. The pain. The agony. The intense feeling of injustice watching your family be torn apart in front of you. I feel this everyday.

When you have a clear moment, google jimmy evans on forgiveness. It will help life the burden you are carrying.

[BklynMom]

Mighty and Heather, as usual thank you so much.

Fundad, thank you for your sympathy it means so much to me, to hear someone tell me that what I am going through does actually hurt. That I shouldn't buck up and deny the pain.

Heather - I want my life to look exactly as it does today but without this woman. I am happy that I am not with my ex but the thought of my children spending family like time with someone else is sicking.

Obviously that is a fantasy and I can't change it. She is in their lives. I just try to get through it. Nothing I can do about it.

I feel much much better today

I went even deeper down after that post.

Found out my bff, she was my only brides maid at my wedding is leaving her husband. She lives out of state and she has talked about their issues but I was in shock.

But I needed to listen to her and be her friend and help support her, even though I don't think she should leave.

After that conversation I was more depressed, but after a night without sleep - the next day I felt so strong and good about myself.

I still really good and strong. Fingers crossed it lasts.

Looking forward to a wonderful fall weekend with my kiddos

[FunDad]

Hey Brook. It's a roller coaster for sure. How ironic your BFF is wanting to leave her husband. That's going to be a tough one.

Did you look up the jimmy evens vid? It's good I promise.

[BklynMom]

Fun dad - I totally love the jimmy Evans videos. I have been watching a lot of them. Thanks for suggesting it

I have been really have a great week or so. I feel blessed and happy and lucky for all I have.

Recent issue came up which I basically consider a mistake and I am trying not to make it a big deal.

Ex emailed me the other day checking d6 social sec number cause his taxes weren't being excepted electronically. I didn't know that I wasn't supposed to claim d6 on my taxes. I guess we each claim 1 kid. I didn't even know that was a thing. So I sent an email apologizing that I had claimed her already and that next year he could claim both girls.

I am trying not to be hard on myself for making an error and also trying not to be mad at my father/lawyer for not going over that with me.

But whatever it was a error and I have offered a reasonable solution.

Mistakes happen... So goes life

A bigger mistake would be to beat myself up for not being perfect