From reading through your posts rppfl I see a big change in you over the last few weeks. You seem much more confident and able to cope. Your h is still at home he must have noticed the changes too. Everyone tells me the novelty of the ow soon wears off, maybe he's worried about that too and that's why he doesn't seem to be in any hurry to leave.
Whatever happens I think you're doing great, we all have our crying days. Take care x
Me - 44 Husband - 47 D20, S18 BD - Aug 2013 Moved out - Jan 2014 OW discovered Jan 2014
Thanks for the support everyone. At the one MC session we had the other day, the MC said I seemed much stronger than previously, and attributed it to the IC that I've done. Honestly, it's more you guys here on the forum than the IC. You all give me a place to vent, ask questions that make me think through things, and give me perspective.
Last night was another late night out for H (told me he was at an event for a charity organization he serves on the board of), he got home and said he was surprised that I was still awake. I fleetingly thought that he looked a little disheveled and sounded disappointed I was still awake. But then I let that go because that's mindreading and even if it's true I'm not going to address it anyway.
This morning was a non-event, I fixed his coffee like I always do, we chatted about several people and things and then I left to take D16 to school. Limbo.....how low can you go?
It seems like we are on track to tell the kids next Friday, it's what we had agreed on when he thought he had the condo deal, and I'm still proceeding that way. I bought S18 his ticket home, and have told D16 that she should be home on Friday (so we can all be together the evening your brother comes home). H has not expressed any desire to postpone the conversation, so...... eight days and counting.
Telling the kids is usually a difficult hurdle. I remember feeling like I was going to throw up just before telling our daughter. But then afterwards I was just so disappointed in my H when I saw how upset my d was. I told him later "This must be really important to you if it's worth all this" (meaning worth upsetting D's world and emotional state).
But then also it was a great release of pressure, as I no longer had to keep the secret from daughter. And she was a great support for me, as I was for her. So we could help each other, although i was careful not to try to overburden her, and tried to lessen her emotional load as much as possible.
I hope you're able to have the same release of pressure and the support of your children. I'll keep you in my thoughts in the coming days.
M: 43 H: 39 D: 14 Married 15 Together 16 BD: 6/2014 S: 8/2014 OW revealed 10/2014 Instigated dissolution 12/2014, in progress So over it!
Thanks Ahoy. As much as I didn't want S, and have dreaded it, and as much as I would sacrifice my right arm not to hurt my kids, I have resigned myself to this that it's going to happen and I'm trying to focus on what happens after that. I didn't want it, but we will be OK. I didn't want my D16 to be diagnosed with a chronic autoimmune disease, I didn't want to live through Hurricane Andrew, I didn't want a lot of things. But we will be OK.
My D16 is dating a guy who is away at college right now (he's a freshman), and it happens that he's coming in next weekend. She had mentioned she was making weekend plans, and I told her I wanted her home Friday night (when we plan to tell them) and asked her to send me a schedule of what she has planned the rest of the weekend so we can agree beforehand. So she emailed me a detailed schedule this morning. Her plan is that BF picks her up from school on Friday, group activity with several people, etc. etc. etc, then spending the night with a girlfriend. Ummmm....what happened to being at home Friday night? I can insist she be there, but not without a lot of drama and suspicion aroused. Oy vey!
I need some help here. For the third time, H is asking my advice on apartment location/size. He's framing it as asking my comfort level with possible places, do I think the girls will be comfortable, do I think the security is good enough. The first two times I simply said I'm sure you will figure it out. Do I continue that mantra? Ignore it altogether? I'm not really comfortable with either of those options. Someone help me!
My 2 cents- Let him put on his big boy pants and figure it out himself. I think he keeps coming back for your advice because he wants you to make the decision for him.
My H did the same thing. I told him to figure it out. When he asked again I said "You can't expect me to participate in a decision I oppose." Boom, done.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
