"My W did try to make her feelings felt however my W did tell me that we could work on the issues to resolve the situation."
At this point when they say this, there are two things you need to understand..1) They already have one foot out the door and 2) they will watch EVERY move you make to see if you listened to what they said.
Problem is, many issues in M are caused by both people. So unless she also changed, it's hard to change all on your own and her accept it.
"I understand what you say about the wake up call is too late for the WAS but you would have to wonder if the LBS is willing to work on it to reach a happy result for all then the WAS maybe should think they actions through."
Not necessarily. She probably had asked you to do certain things or change certain things in the past as a test and you more than likely ignored them.
"In my case my Ws actions will affect my 4 children myself and my W."
So? Right now she feels that her leaving is a heck of alot better than living with you no matter how poor or destitute she is. That's why your ego is so low.
"We have very little money and struggle to make ends meet. My wife EA (she denies ) is jobless, alchoholic and bipolar. She maybe happier but for how long."
Doesn't matter how long. It is still her choice.
"I have re db and I'm following sandis 37 steps. My W seems very upset anirrational at times."
Again, that's her choice. You're going to have to give her space and let her hit rock bottom all on her own.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Thanks Mr Bo d. I agree completely with what you say. Completely. My ego is at rock bottom and I take a lot of responsibility for the current sitch. I keep falling back regards her friend In all other areas I like to think I have improved and am becoming a better person Still a way to go but I will get tthere. I'm sure I reflect a lot of people on here who wish there partners would try to reconcile but I do understand it's not always possible I'm hoping when W leaves it will be easier to deal with the pain. Because it's hard to be around her when she is cold towards me Thanks again for posting. I am very down and need any and all advice that might help I
Hi all. Wife moving out next Saturday. She needs help with deposit and first months rent. Should I offer to help or is this something she needs to do on her own. Money is very tight and she can borrow it from her dad. Thanks in advance
Think about what your goals are and what you want for you. If you want her to be gone, then give her the money. If you want to stand for your M then dont help her destroy it.
I struggled with this same thing early on. I was willing to help split assets, pay for L, help her move, everything. Once I decided not to help, the entire process slowed WAY down.
M42 W40 T17 M15 S13 S11 BD 7-14 A discovered 7-14 WAW moved out 10-3-14 D final 2-23-15
Thanks BDUB. I want my marriage but I thought but not giving her the money would look like I was controlling (again). On the other hand I want her to stay so I think you can see my dilemma. Thank again for posting any and all advice greatly received
"Do you mind if I ask where your wisdom comes from. Are you a councillor or is it life experiance."
Both. Plus alot of learning comes from the board members themselves. I will be the first to say that I NEVER have the "right" answers. There were some situations that I thought for sure there was no hope, but they turned around.
Anyone who tells you that they "know" exactly what to do and how to bring your W back, you tell them to first start walking on water and then you'll blindly take their advice.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
