Yes, you are sooo right, kml. I have got to work through this anger. It is hurting me so badly, and not him at all. He does not even know or feel it. I do. It stinks. I need to get past this. WAIT! BINGO! WOW! I JUST REALIZED... duh... my side prayer was just answered!I am working on moving past the anger. See how that happens?!
As I was reading Heathers post the other day, it brought up some things that I've thought about. There were 19 years worth of letters, cards, etc that I had written to xh. Letters from when he was in basic training many years ago to current letters where I poured my heart out after bd. (before I was dbing.) now that he and HWW are living in the house they bought, I wonder what happened to them. I mean, the ink is hardly dry on some. So I wonder, did he throw them out or are they in her house for her to read? I try not to let it bother me, or spend time thinking about it, but I am a little curious.
I also wanted to share my GAL from Friday. It was a BEAUTIFUL day. I went with a friend to watch my d play volleyball. The game was in a town on the river that xh & I used to take our boat to. There was a great restaurant on the water that we really liked. I had only been there by boat & w xh. Any way, gf & I went there.
We went to the bar, which overlooks the river. The weather was perfect and the sun was setting. There was great music and fantastic food. My d was still at the game watching varsity in her happy-as-can be usual self. S17 called me and he was at home with a friend helping him through a rough time (good for s to be there for a friend).
I, at that moment, had no worries. My friend and I were laughing and having a good time. I said to her, "you know what? I like my life right now." We did a "cheers!" and enjoyed our dinner and drink overlooking the river. Good conversation & lots of laughs.
Hey M, feeling like you are holding your breath and waiting is normal in the beginning of all of this. Plus you have had a freakin crap load of stuff thrown at you.
It's like you think...ok, well, that just happened...holy helll. Takes some time to really and truly get your mind around it all.
You will get there. I have no doubt. Take it one step at a time.
Marvelous, Mighty! Cherish those special moments:-)
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
Mighty, I have great days like that, too! Aren't they wonderful? Special moments brought to you by YOU.
M:54, H:55 T:33, M:27 12/13 BD: EA 01/14 BD: PA, H leaves 03/14 H & OW break up 05/14 H says he will file for D 08/14 H initiates D 09/14 H wants to R 12/14 Still bungling our way through R
Thank you for cheering me on! It was really nice. I'm looking forward to more. I hope you are enjoying moments like that too. Too bad we couldn't have one together!
