Dang igit, I hate it for you right now. Sounds like you are doing the best you can given the circumstances. And it seems like you have the right game plan...for you. I am still waiting for your post where your W hits bottom and wants to work things out.
Me: 42 W: 32 Married 7 years together 8.5 S1: 7 S2:7 Bomb #1: 09-16-13 Recon #1: 11/13 A discovered 04-03-2014 W filed D 05-19-14 but never served me I filed D 12-02-2014 S 05-31-14 Divorced 5-19-16
Pilot, I have not given up, however I do think that you reach a point where your own self respect kicks in. I am still working on me, and through this I have grown and it had impacted other areas of my life for the better. I have always been layed back, but now in my ineractions with all people I am not trying to impress anyone. I am just being me. It has been huge in my business and that part of my life is going to the next level.《some how through this> I am still being best dad in the world, getting my spiritual life to a place it's never been. I have developed some great friendship s with people I would have never met or known because of this. So Igit is going to be better than ever.
M 54 W 48 T 19 M 17 D 12 Twin S 6 Twin S 6 Ilybnilwy 1/26/14 A discovered 2/3/14 D filed 7/25/14 Sumons served 8/14/14
Glad you have a good out look on things. That is a big plus for you and your sanity!
I wish there was more I could do for you buddy. I know how alone it can feel at times.
Me: 42 W: 32 Married 7 years together 8.5 S1: 7 S2:7 Bomb #1: 09-16-13 Recon #1: 11/13 A discovered 04-03-2014 W filed D 05-19-14 but never served me I filed D 12-02-2014 S 05-31-14 Divorced 5-19-16
Pilot, about the LF which i mentioned in prev.post is just that a freind! I just hired her for part time help. I have known her for 3 or 4 yrs as she works at diner I go to often. Anyway she put herself through college and looking for acct.type job. She is early 30s. Anyway her husband cheated on her and she is D. She has been a good sounding board. Good advice on what is going on in W mind, she knows I want to save M. She is giving me same advice as DB coach. Act like I am moving on and don't show any weakness. Don't get excited if she gives any signs of hope. Just move on. No more Mr Nice Guy, no more I will do anything to change her mind. So Thx for keeping up.
M 54 W 48 T 19 M 17 D 12 Twin S 6 Twin S 6 Ilybnilwy 1/26/14 A discovered 2/3/14 D filed 7/25/14 Sumons served 8/14/14
Pilot, about the LF which i mentioned in prev.post is just that a freind! I just hired her for part time help. I have known her for 3 or 4 yrs as she works at diner I go to often. Anyway she put herself through college and looking for acct.type job. She is early 30s. Anyway her husband cheated on her and she is D. She has been a good sounding board. Good advice on what is going on in W mind, she knows I want to save M. She is giving me same advice as DB coach. Act like I am moving on and don't show any weakness. Don't get excited if she gives any signs of hope. Just move on. No more Mr Nice Guy, no more I will do anything to change her mind. So Thx for keeping up.
M 54 W 48 T 19 M 17 D 12 Twin S 6 Twin S 6 Ilybnilwy 1/26/14 A discovered 2/3/14 D filed 7/25/14 Sumons served 8/14/14
Well a lot can happen in 4 days! LOL! So update hear< Friday night w has sleepover planned for D12 and friends. her plan take girls and S6's to fair. At 530 she asked me if I could take she was tired! No problem> get home from fair at 9pm NO W home! D12 is upset and tries texting /calling W but no answer. Anyway D12 and her friends pile into D12 room and decide D12 needs to sleep in W room not enough room in D12room. W gets home at 2am and is startled and screams! NICE! Sat am I let W know since D12 is going out of town for night with friend I would take boys to pumpkin patch and be home at 5 to cookout with boys so she could get home to herself. W > Text me since I screwed up her plans I don't want to be here while you continue to act like perfect dad, perfect husband, ignoring the fact that we are in divorce process, you continue to involve yourself, not giving me space with the kids. please have yours and boys laundry done. I was home when I got text and went in and read it in front of her. I asked her how she thought I should be behaving, I am not changing my behavior and sorry that she took offense to it. I then took off with boys for the day. we had a good time and went to a party after pumpkin patch got home at 9. W rolled in around 1am <I guess she was tired> Sunday- took boys to church got home and W asked me to drive to pick up D12 3hrs away. She got up sick and wanted to come home early> Good old Dad made the drive got home at 630. D12 was upset in car she hadn't spent any time with Mom. We got home and W did homework with D12. W was screaming at D12 to pay attention and D12 started crying! I just got boys a bath and put them in bed and let W deal with D12 herself. Today woke up and twins were both sick with fevers! had to stay home and take care of. W texted me D12 should be happy that she did her homework with her! LOL MOM. Anyway pretty frustrating! I am not sure I can subject kids to this much longer! With D process going I may ask W to get a place closer to work and just go totally dark> No talking , no texting, let me know when you want to see kids and I will make arrangements to not be hear! Let her deal with her issues herself and leaver me and kids out of it! TEXT FROM W>
M 54 W 48 T 19 M 17 D 12 Twin S 6 Twin S 6 Ilybnilwy 1/26/14 A discovered 2/3/14 D filed 7/25/14 Sumons served 8/14/14
dang igit. ever hear of having a vacation from drama? haha. It was really strange for your W to be angry at you for being the perfect dad, perfect husband, etc. She seems angry that in her mind, you are in a better mental state than she is. I wonder how stable she is or how close to a mental break down she might be?
Good for you that you have kept being the great dad your kids need.
Me: 42 W: 32 Married 7 years together 8.5 S1: 7 S2:7 Bomb #1: 09-16-13 Recon #1: 11/13 A discovered 04-03-2014 W filed D 05-19-14 but never served me I filed D 12-02-2014 S 05-31-14 Divorced 5-19-16
Pilot you have interesting comments. I appreciate your support. When it rains it pours. W car towed into dealer looks like transmission. No liquid cash since its tied up in court case. Both boys home sick again today with dad. I don't know if she is really getting frustrated with my current PMA. I know she is seeing my commitment to helping with kids in a big way. I hate to say that the guilt is taking its toll on her. I'm not going to give her any reasons to be angry with me. On another note more powerful. I am leaving for the 4 day spiritual weekend thur. For a couple reasons.it's 4 days no phones no contact with the outside world. I know my wife has been rejected by her dad most of her life. It's something she is used to by someone she has loved. I don't ever want her to feel that from me no matter what happens. It's really going to take an inner strength and peace from within me to make this happen. From what I have been told by my friends who have done this weekend before it was very powerful and moving. Some thing to look forward to.
M 54 W 48 T 19 M 17 D 12 Twin S 6 Twin S 6 Ilybnilwy 1/26/14 A discovered 2/3/14 D filed 7/25/14 Sumons served 8/14/14
Had a great talk with DB coach today! what a great lady! Wish my WAW had some of her qualities! Wishful thinking! Even though in last quarter of game I am feeling like I have the rt mindset to deal with whatever comes my way. The WAW may know they are creating a situation that they may not understand the consequences they are creating but are willing to take that chance non the less! Why! who knows! There issues are there's to sort out! All we can do is to pick up the pieces for kids sake in a way to not disrespect or show remorse towards WAW> its a hard road to navigate! Somehow if we keep our self respect in tact and don't do anything or give WAW anymore reasons to resent us everything will work out for us in the long run. The kids will understand a life lesson on how to treat people no matter what they do to you. Checking out of DB site for a few days. I hope everyone has some good days while I am gone. Igit
M 54 W 48 T 19 M 17 D 12 Twin S 6 Twin S 6 Ilybnilwy 1/26/14 A discovered 2/3/14 D filed 7/25/14 Sumons served 8/14/14
