I know the odds of him changing his mind are nil. But you're right in that I want it a lot.
BF:40 M:33 SD: 12 T: 8, never married, no kids together BD: 8/4, "I'm just done", "...too tired and burnt to try". PA confirmed 8/5 "It happened, but it's been over for almost a year".
I'll echo what Georgiabelle said...detach. Encourage friendly exchange, validate, be decent. But continue your GAL and let him pursue - but don't always be available (that includes intimacy). You are not a "side" piece for his convenience while he boots you out.
I absolutely support you in trying to maintain/strengthen the R with your SD. Children have too few good people in their lives, and plenty of influences trying to tear them down. If you want to help with karate, GREAT. But don't use it as a tool to maintain contact with H.
More to follow, but work beckons. Have an amazing day.
Me: 43 XW: 43 T15 M14 D21, SS15, S11, D8 BD: 8/6 EA / possible PA discovered 9/29 D final 10/20
BF:40 M:33 SD: 12 T: 8, never married, no kids together BD: 8/4, "I'm just done", "...too tired and burnt to try". PA confirmed 8/5 "It happened, but it's been over for almost a year".
Changed my FB status to single. Posted a quick "we broke up, no hard feelings if mutual friends aren't comfortable keeping me on".
Sending letter to the landlord tonight stating I won't be re-signing the lease.
Think I get he won't be returning to this R.
S u c k s, but PMA is up.
BF:40 M:33 SD: 12 T: 8, never married, no kids together BD: 8/4, "I'm just done", "...too tired and burnt to try". PA confirmed 8/5 "It happened, but it's been over for almost a year".
Mom is stressed and cranky because she's working full time and is having a hard time finding time for the shuffling of junk and the cleaning of the spare rooms and repairs so that I can move in; she's feeling rushed. H is politely on my case about WHEN I'm leaving, and I'm in the middle. Whatever.
H asked me about payment for SD12's karate today. I told him a week or more ago "when I move out, because my expenses will change then", but Mr. Impetuous only read half of what I said, apparently. I clarified and then apologized for not communicating it well. With a for good measure. LOL! Killing him with kindness, as the saying goes.
BF:40 M:33 SD: 12 T: 8, never married, no kids together BD: 8/4, "I'm just done", "...too tired and burnt to try". PA confirmed 8/5 "It happened, but it's been over for almost a year".
BF:40 M:33 SD: 12 T: 8, never married, no kids together BD: 8/4, "I'm just done", "...too tired and burnt to try". PA confirmed 8/5 "It happened, but it's been over for almost a year".
First off, let me say that I'm sorry to see you in here with us. It is a dark and lonely place to be.
I too find myself in the same place so my heart and prayers go out to you. Keep trucking and i wish you guys the best! I will continue to monitor your sitch. I know if helps to get all the support you can get!
Take a look at my sitch if you get a chance, I havent had much traffic either, helps to get anothe opinion/perspective
ME: 29 / W: 29 M: 10 (11 in March 2015) BD (ILYBNILWY): 07/26/14 S:12 / S: 7 "We need to separate" : 08/31/14 Wants to see others: 10/11/14 Separation looming
Finished my motorcycle course this weekend with a passing grade. Now I can take the 14 question test at the DMV to get the motorcycle endorsement put on my license. This has been something I've wanted and planned for a long time but never took steps to do it, which I know frustrated H on many levels (lack of initiative, a common interest we could have done spending time together, and so on).
He gave me a fist bump and a friendly hug when I told him I passed.
He also came home with some junk from a tag sale last evening. H is somewhat of a hoarder; not so bad the house is over-flowing with junk, but he definitely has multiples of things. It's hard to live in the same place with him because it gets very cluttered with stuff. This was a source of tension with us, because when he'd buy one guitar (snow blower, radio, vacuum cleaner) he'd buy 10 more (or get them for free and fix them up but they'd sit around after.....).
I just listened and smiled as he explained about his finds and didn't say boo.
BF:40 M:33 SD: 12 T: 8, never married, no kids together BD: 8/4, "I'm just done", "...too tired and burnt to try". PA confirmed 8/5 "It happened, but it's been over for almost a year".
Trucking along with my efforts to get involved in the things I like and want to be involved in. 48 days now, without my internet addiction having me in its clutches. I'm feeling good and in control of my habits.
Just insured my motorcycle and will be sending out the payment for registration this week. Saturday I'm going to complete the test and get the endorsement added to my license. I'm excited to get some on-the-road experience, and it will save me gas money and mileage on my leased car.
Mom's still struggling to get the bedroom ready for me. She's got to clear out the spare bedroom being used as storage before she can paint it, before my brother can move his things out of the master bedroom into there....before she can paint the master bedroom and then move me into it. She works for herself (8 hours a day, usually) and is an older, single mother to my 13 year old brother, so I know she's stressed. She hates deadlines and questions like, "Do you have an approximate date that X will be completed, so I can plan?", because they make her feel ore stressed. Since she's doing me a huge favor, I'm not inclined to hassle her about it.
I'm also sort of glad she's dragging (unintentionally) because I really don't want to leave the apartment with H. But, having said that, I know it's just a matter of time before he starts getting cranky about me still being there and asking when I'm leaving. Maybe the fact he hasn't pushed about it thus far can be seen as a positive -- who knows?
On that front, still seeing no visible movement with H as far as our sitch goes. Still the same, polite, friendly interaction with no signs of anything wrong in his world, just the "new" status quo. Our interaction is still limited because we're both hardly ever home.
I'd love to know what's going on in his head (or maybe I wouldn't!).
BF:40 M:33 SD: 12 T: 8, never married, no kids together BD: 8/4, "I'm just done", "...too tired and burnt to try". PA confirmed 8/5 "It happened, but it's been over for almost a year".
Super friendly morning chatter. He followed me around while I did my morning routine.
Sigh. So hard to accept he feels done when he acts like this.
BF:40 M:33 SD: 12 T: 8, never married, no kids together BD: 8/4, "I'm just done", "...too tired and burnt to try". PA confirmed 8/5 "It happened, but it's been over for almost a year".
for good measure. LOL! Killing him with kindness, as the saying goes.