I revised the dissolution proposal. Atty will get back to me with the cost of the revisions. Emailed my changes.
I'm asking to be reimbursed for the $2500 that Smokey promised in tuition last spring and baled on. Not sure that will happen. But, I'm asking...he's taken advantage in so many way. I'm asking.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
You are doing great with this new job/move, and should be proud of yourself with how you are handling the situations that are arising around it. You can do nothing but succeed...
I can understand though some of the issues around smokey that are cropping up. It is really strange packing up your home, and not taking his stuff with you. Personally it struck me hard as to the things he had left behind. Some were just general things, at one point I wondered what he was wearing, but also personal things. Not just relating to us, but his family. I guess they were a lot of the reason behind how we ended up like this. You will get over it, but it is often the small things that cause the most grief...
As to your new home. I too looked at properties that were way too much for my budget. I figured if I had to give up my home I deserved to live somewhere I loved. It didn't work out quite like that. I ended up somewhere cheaper, in a location I don't love but has turned out to be quite practical in the shortish term. The great thing about renting is when the budget allows you can easily move on up! I will get there eventually, and so will you. In the mean time having your own things in a property, and a few personal touches, and as long as you are warm and comfortable you can make it work. Taking away the concerns about meeting the bills makes life much easier. When you wow them at the paper the salary increase will give you so much more choice, and being "on the spot" makes it easier too. I moved into this property, my sister chose it, and moving in day was the first time I walked through the door. The fact they allowed my GIANT dog swayed the decision greatly. But it has all worked out OK, and I know its not forever.
Keep up the good work. The dream may take a little longer, but you are giant steps closer. ABx
I have been on my own, like you, over two years now. I keep wondering whether I could cope with meeting someone new. I cast my eye around, but cannot be excited by what I see. I wonder if I ever will. I thought I had got it so right, and was proved so wrong. I don't want to go there again.
maybe I watch to many "fairytale" romance films, reality is too far from that. Wrong expectations perhaps.
However, men in uniform have always been an attraction. Perhaps I should come visit you in your new home, LOL, seems like a good place to start!
Am I looking at this from the wrong perspective? Or am I just not ready? Maybe when the time is right we'll just know....
Yes, the dog is a must and I think I made that point today.
I just hate having this house situation still up in the air. I want it settled!!
Everything about this has been hard in terms of letting go of the marriage. Revising the Dissolution, packing up our lives together, dealing with the emotions of the kids, dealing with my own emotions...it's all been hard. But, I'm getting through it. I continue to surprise myself. When new challenge arises...I have been simply dealing with it and I feel this surge of energy. When I have a moment to slow down, it feels strange because there's so much to do!!! I keep forcing myself to stop when I get a chance. Just stop.
Thanks for the hope. I know these apartments aren't the ideal, but the rent is much, much more manageable and I feel happy in this little area. I just hate that there's no signed deal yet.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
Personally, when it comes to a new man...I say open yourself up to the possibilities...
I had a bit of a fling with someone last spring and I don't regret it a bit. I learned a lot about myself. I also had fun and learned about what I want and don't want.
Ab, PLEASE come for a visit!! With all this ISIS talk, I think I will be in one of the safest places on the planet. Surrounded by testosterone and trained soldiers...men AND Women :-)
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
Instead, make the assumption that it WON'T be longterm. I think I made that mistake. For me, the "Forester" was a way to remember I am still sexy and lovable...He wasn't about longterm. He was about getting my needs met as an adult who needed someone to ease the loneliness. And, his younger age was a confidence booster.
I know there are all different perspectives on this...But, for me, it was healthy to do a little exploring and have some fun. I had been mistreated for a very long time and given a very low priority. I made this fling about ME.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
It just hit me. I'm really doing this! I think yesterday was my point of no return. I faced it. Found some solutions and it's full steam ahead.
1. I'm making a list of the remaining properties I want to see. I think we will head out on Sunday to Tuesday. I'm not sure I should ask the Newspaper to pay for another two nights at the hotel? Thoughts? This would make two nights for the interview and 2 nights with the househunting...not including the relocation allowance. I'm not sure.
2. I meet with the atty tomorrow morning to go over the changes I would like to make. I think I'm going to ask for what I feel is fair and let it go. I have a feeling this will be the last meeting with the atty.
3. I asked human resources at the paper if I could get the security deposit taken directly from the relocation allowance. I made it clear that I could work something else out if necessary, but wanted to ask the question. Haven't heard back yet. I wanted to ask the paper first, before having to go to dad.
4. I'm feeling a bit freer to get all the stuff packed up.
Somehow, all of this shid is getting done. I don't know how, but it is. I just keep moving in sorta automatic pilot and taking care of business, one thing atta time.
The forester bought some stuff from the garage sale and invited me over for an evening of stress relief. I'm not sure. Thinking about it.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
Heather, thank you. You are right, I need to look at getting out and having some FUN, not looking for another long term relationship. I need some confidence boosting. Problem is getting out there to meet people, will work on that.
I am pretty sure now you have made a few decisions about financing your new home you will get this sorted fairly quickly. Don't stress, get up there check out a few and I am sure you will come home satisfied.
