Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 5 of 7 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 276
J
Joe1981 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
J
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 276
Yeah, I'm very much not pushing. Anything. I love having my friend back and working together on parenting. Love stuff will come gradually. She has to get there again.


Me: 34 W:33
T: 10 M: 6
S: 6 D: 5
BD: 5/14
Still together(ish)
Not giving up: 7/14
D talk has slowed, a lot.
Gradually working on things together. Still separate bedrooms.
Slow and Steady wins the race.
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 276
J
Joe1981 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
J
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 276
Great weekend. Just doing stuff as a family.

On a bad note, my knee is throbbing and I'm unsure when I'll be able to work out next. I have no idea what I did to it. Hurts like crazy right at the top of the knee cap, especially if I use my quad muscles much. Which is super when I go up or down the stairs. Pain pain go away.


Me: 34 W:33
T: 10 M: 6
S: 6 D: 5
BD: 5/14
Still together(ish)
Not giving up: 7/14
D talk has slowed, a lot.
Gradually working on things together. Still separate bedrooms.
Slow and Steady wins the race.
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 276
J
Joe1981 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
J
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 276
Kind of a blah week. My knee has kept me from working out and my energy levels are down as a result.

All things M are kind of stagnant right now. I'm worried that, due to lack of positive movement, she's going to drop the bomb again. Maybe it's just that I'm gimpy this week and she's having a rough week at work.

I feel like I need a breakthrough.

Ok, end of whining, back to being patient and strong. I will be ok, no, not ok, great. I will be great.


Me: 34 W:33
T: 10 M: 6
S: 6 D: 5
BD: 5/14
Still together(ish)
Not giving up: 7/14
D talk has slowed, a lot.
Gradually working on things together. Still separate bedrooms.
Slow and Steady wins the race.
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 9,676
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 9,676
Injuries do slow us down, don't they?

Are you working out your mind? Can you still do upper body? Just some thoughts.

I'm having physical therapy today for a knee injury from Tai Chi, of all things. Actually it's a reinjury.

Did she at any point "undrop" the bomb?

Last edited by labug; 09/12/14 03:08 PM.

Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 276
J
Joe1981 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
J
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 276
Undrop...not in so many words. But yeah, the whole divorce idea hadn't been spoken of in quite some time. But it's been complicated.

Today WAS going great. Lots of friendly talking. She even had me come in the bathroom and talk to her while she showered to go out for her friend's bday.

She even came back super happy and friendly and we were chatting all friendly for a while. Then she suddenly shifted gears and started talking about my rebound EA again, so things turned sour. I did my best to validate her anger and diffuse things.

I guess I knew this was coming, I'd just hoped to avoid it.


Me: 34 W:33
T: 10 M: 6
S: 6 D: 5
BD: 5/14
Still together(ish)
Not giving up: 7/14
D talk has slowed, a lot.
Gradually working on things together. Still separate bedrooms.
Slow and Steady wins the race.
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 188
G
Member
Offline
Member
G
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 188
Joe just found your post in a somewhat similar stitch. Doing the same thing putting my family back together and wondering when I can start piecing my R back together. Wondering if any of this is working and trying to put meaning to every and all actions. I'm cheering you on good luck.


Me 40 W 40
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 190
E
Member
Offline
Member
E
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 190
Joe, even though it is difficult, I think her anger is a sign that she is still emotionally invested in you and your M.

When she gets angry, what does she say/do?


Me: 33 Him: 35
T: 13 M: 11
D7
BD, S: Jul 3rd, 2014
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 681
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 681
Hi Joe, I agree with Elsa. When she starts to feel closer to you is when the anger issues might surface. Validating is the best you can do and just continue your PMA.

Glad to hear things are going well for you!
Hugs,
Lisa

Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 9,676
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 9,676
Originally Posted By: Joe1981
Undrop...not in so many words. But yeah, the whole divorce idea hadn't been spoken of in quite some time. But it's been complicated.

Today WAS going great. Lots of friendly talking. She even had me come in the bathroom and talk to her while she showered to go out for her friend's bday.

She even came back super happy and friendly and we were chatting all friendly for a while. Then she suddenly shifted gears and started talking about my rebound EA again, so things turned sour. I did my best to validate her anger and diffuse things.

I guess I knew this was coming, I'd just hoped to avoid it.


So you really don't know where this is going. If you are actually coming back together there's a need to sort things out, talk about going forward. A good R can't be built on the crumbled foundation of the old one. It'll be the same R, most likely even worse.

Do you feel you're walking on eggshells because of her anger?


Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss
Joined: Aug 2014
Posts: 585
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Aug 2014
Posts: 585
Is this an example of her testing the waters? Or does it feel like shes punishing you?


M42 W40
T17
M15
S13 S11
BD 7-14
A discovered 7-14
WAW moved out 10-3-14
D final 2-23-15
Page 5 of 7 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard