I had control over the phone bill we still share. I made myself the administrator on the account so I could keep an eye on what all of us was using for data. When he ripped my world apart in April I purchased a membership for a site to look up numbers. Kept it for a couple of months but I was checking the numbers he was calling. Bad I know. I decided about 2 weeks ago that I would contact OW to see where H head was at because after their break up he told me he was so depressed about us and OW that he called the VA hotline because he wanted to hurt himself. It scares me that he was in such a dark place. We had started talking again and it was a small glimmer of hope,very short lived. Anyway I contacted OW again Saturday. It was my b day and I couldn't sleep and got up really early and pretty much cried all morning. Especially when he texted me Happy Birthday. I just asked if there was anything new and I spouted off that I knew that they had talked the night before. She asked if was a spy and I opened my mouth and inserted my foot... needless to say she told H. And to top it off some woman he was talking to online told him to tell his wife hi and then some other choice words. H called me in a rage and threatened to stop sending me money and he would shut off all of our phones blah blah blah. I told him I had nothing to do with that so he then accused our daughter of messing with his stuff. That did not go over well. D15 texted him and pretty much told him off. We haven't heard anything from him today. So not anything that bad...lol
Last edited by fpw1998; 09/25/1402:36 AM.
H:45 M:44 D:15 D:11 M:16 T:22 BD:4/14 OW:4/14-8/14 H still refusing to try Praying every day for a miracle
Not having much faith today. Had some very unsettling text messages with WAH/MLC today. H said some very hurtful things that I didn't want to hear. It's really hard to swallow when your H tells you that the OW(who broke up with him a month ago)was the best thing that has happened to him in 2 years. 22 years didn't mean anything I guess. I hate watching H self destruct knowing it won't matter what I say to him. I know it's time to let go even though my heart is still breaking. It's time to focus on our girls and myself. I will continue to pray for him,for us and for the chance to try again but he will have to come to that decision.
H:45 M:44 D:15 D:11 M:16 T:22 BD:4/14 OW:4/14-8/14 H still refusing to try Praying every day for a miracle
98, I'm sorry to hear that he is capable of saying things like that to you. Its incredible how thick the fog is for some of these WAS's. I pray that you are able to focus on yourself and your D's at this time. My sitch has been heart wrenching, but I can't even imagine the pain you've been through with two older kids and an OW in the picture. You are amazing to still be standing for your family! Never stop taking care of yourself first.
Me 38, WAW 30 D11 (former marriage) S2 T 8 years M 3 years BD 8/20/23 S 8/20/23
Thank you Card29, It is very hard with our girls being older. You can't tell them how to feel. H thinks they will get over this and maybe some day they will. I have had 6 months to reflect on our M,and the most eye opening thing I have come to realize is that the things we as children see in our parents comes through in our lives. The way my mother interacted with my dad is the same way I have interacted with my H. It scares me what this has already done to our girls.
H:45 M:44 D:15 D:11 M:16 T:22 BD:4/14 OW:4/14-8/14 H still refusing to try Praying every day for a miracle
Well to quote MWD, do something different! Don't just let them get over it and hope they turn out okay like a lot of divorced/unhappy couples did over the last couple of generations. You're right, it had left a lot of us repeating our parents mistakes. My dad neglected my mom, and I ended up doing the same thing. Keep learning about how to build a solid marriage, how to build love after the "honeymoon" fire burns out, and teach this to your kids. Keep taking care of yourself and learning, and you'll probably have a chance to show it to your kids, either with your H or another lucky man.
I've noticed so many people lately saying "I wish I'd learned this before it fell apart." Well it's too late for us to have avoided disaster, but not for our kids!
Last edited by Card29; 09/30/1402:32 AM.
Me 38, WAW 30 D11 (former marriage) S2 T 8 years M 3 years BD 8/20/23 S 8/20/23
I have read DR. After what happened tonight I don't have a snowballs chance in hell of fixing this. I will be thankful if he just goes away. H threatening to have me charged with invasion of privacy... He is defending OW and wanting to destroy me...22 years for him to treat me like this. I'm such a wreck right now...
H:45 M:44 D:15 D:11 M:16 T:22 BD:4/14 OW:4/14-8/14 H still refusing to try Praying every day for a miracle
"I have read DR. After what happened tonight I don't have a snowballs chance in hell of fixing this."
Why not?
"I will be thankful if he just goes away. H threatening to have me charged with invasion of privacy..."
I've heard much worse when my W was at the height of her situation. You have to be stronger than that.
"He is defending OW and wanting to destroy me...22 years for him to treat me like this. I'm such a wreck right now..."
You can do it. You're stronger than that. You know what he's saying isn't true. In fact, it's par for the course the WAS lashing out at the LBS. You need to detach.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Thank you Mr Bond I needed that... Today was a very emotional day for me. Who would think closing a bank account would be so emotional. Cried the whole time. Too many trigger words I guess. Now I am drained... Ready to put an end to today...
H:45 M:44 D:15 D:11 M:16 T:22 BD:4/14 OW:4/14-8/14 H still refusing to try Praying every day for a miracle
Well H officially filed for D this morning. I think my hope is fading fast. After the horrible things that have been said in the last 2 weeks I fear I am going to have to bow out gracefully.
H:45 M:44 D:15 D:11 M:16 T:22 BD:4/14 OW:4/14-8/14 H still refusing to try Praying every day for a miracle
