6. Nothing h does or says matters at all, because he's absolutely crazy and it's obvious because he doesn't want to be married to me right now, and, well....refer to #1.
Life is too good to be wasted. And I'm too good to be left behind.
True, true!
You know, since my divorce, EVERY man I have dated has asked me the same question - "Is your ex CRAZY???". None of them could imagine why he would leave a great woman like me!
Ellie, your xh missed the boat with you! Shining, glad to hear about the fancy schmancy, high paying job. You are a contender ( like we didn't already know that). You are fabulous and good things are just around the corner. I guess we will call you The Shining next:-)
Last edited by Georgiabelle; 09/05/1401:35 AM.
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
Kml, I LOVE that you get that comment!!! I am getting similar looks from my new neighbors...how do you not answer, "heck, yeah, he's crazy!!"
GB, oh, now you've done it... "The Shining"...
That movie has good quotes...
I was looking up one in particular, but fell upon this:
"But see that you get on. That's your job in this hard world, to keep your love alive and see that you get on, no matter what. Pull your act together and just go on."- Stephen King, The Shining
I'm going to have to watch it again .
M44, H44, both M before M4 yrs, T6 BD 7/13 ILYB something isn't right with me H att suicide 2/14 S 4/14 OW disc 5/14 D final 4/15
I am most definitely using your list to remind me to not give away my power! I'm a strong independent woman but this situation sure challenges your self worth.
I think I might print it out and put it on my mirror Who cares if H sees it- he is crazy!!
Me 41 H 40 M 20 T 23 S 19,16, 8 D 13 BD1 dec 2012 not sure going to work BD2 sep 2013 seeking a D Filed oct 2013, D Feb 2015 Life is about daring greatly, about being in the arena- Brene Brown
Daring, you most definitely are a strong independent woman. We'll get through this, inch by inch.
I woke up today at 6:00, to another phone game request sent from H at 3:45 am. This is the third or fourth time H sent something in the middle of the night. H has said he isn't able to sleep well anymore. I'm guessing the vets are, once again, correct when they say the demons come at night. H never used to wake up in the middle of the night. I was the light sleeper of the two of us... He was always a deep sleeper. Just an observation.
Interesting that H doesn't care that I know because he's sending requests that are time stamped....maybe he wants me to know and see if I care to ask? Maybe he's a purple elephant with roller skates. They both mean the same to me.
I recognized another example of the vets on this board being very wise with their words. We REALLY don't always know what the WAS is doing or thinking or feeling, and we should not assume.
Job, your words come to mind in something that happened last night.
During my power walk, I was getting myself into a good mindset, a little angry energy, but not stewing. H has been texting me for several days, very consistently. I noticed when he was with ow or on a "known" date in the past, his texts would obviously stop. Last night, after 6:00, he didn't text me or send a game request. I ASSUMED H had a date. I felt myself going into "stinkin' thinkin'" mode. So I talked myself into not caring, allowing him to walk his path, get out of his way, etc. However, H texted later telling me he finally got his D19 phone bill issue resolved and spent the evening with her at the store, helping her get a pay as you go phone, etc. And that was actually true. I would have been making up stories for nothing, only hurting myself.
Funny thing, I already knew she got a new phone and number, since she sent me a text 20 minutes earlier to add to my contacts. I congratulated her, since she has not had phone service for over 3 months, and was limited to texting only in wifi range. So she was excited. She said she was sorry about my job. She said H told her about it. In he same text, she also said she is sorry he is such a womanizer, and that he was showing her pics of "all these women" he was "talking to" and that he was going to break up with one of them his weekend. Yawn.
I responded with "ahh" and nothing more. She sent back she was sorry that hurts (not a super sensitive and mature thing to tell me about H dates to begin with, especially since I told her I don't want to know, but, hey, she's 19).
I hate that H is talking to her on her level, as if they're friends. He is her father, and he's showing such a poor example of morals. It's embarrassing, really. He looks like such an idiot. And he can't see it. H D19 said she just laughs at him. She is very streetwise, rough-around-the-edges, and not at all innocent by any means, but.....it's still her dad telling her of all his conquests. There is no way that isn't messing with her head a little. Ugh. Yuck.
Oddly enough, it didn't hurt me to hear that as much as it has before. Maybe a small blip, or a ping of pain. Then it went into my schema and it was gone. For whatever reason, for me, the ow aren't a focus. I know they're skanky band aids. And he will not find better than me:). Have fun looking, though, H. You look like a fool to everyone.
I also woke up with a renewed sense of purpose. I am not detached. But I'm less attached. I have not texted H nor have I responded to game request. I'm busy.
I think I'm going to invent a new dance, and actually call it the "Pursuit and Distance". So if you see it on SYTYCD in future seasons, that will be me waving in the audience as they announce my name .
Your attitude about the OWs is commendable and while you say you're not detached you're doing a great job of being "less attached". Wow. I'm impressed.
Make sure you copyright that dance so you can retire early.
So excited!! I just got my Phil DeLuca book in the mail!!! "The Solo Partner" will be coming to archery with me while I sit there for S16 class.
Been reeeeeaallly dark and distant from H today. So what does H do? Calls. Of course, about the house, because the closing date changed. Valid, I suppose.
H called this afternoon with his undies in a bunch about the closing date. Apparently the buyers can't make the original date, and they moved it up one week, giving H less time to prepare. Hmmmmm. Gee, H, can't tell you how sorry I am about you being inconvenienced. Especially since you had so many various options, a higher income, and less people. Oh, that's right.... No one besides yourself. Not to mention the months of time you've had knowing you would be moving, but instead of preparing, you elected to go out partying and scraping barrel bottoms (and other bottoms.....ew.)
I'm sorry you feel that way. Uh huh. Oh, wow. That must have been frustrating. Mmmhmm. Yeah. I imagine you'll figure it out. Oops, look at the time. Thanks for the update.
Shining, thank you for your kind words. I believe, without a doubt, that we are exactly where we should be. Our paths were meant to cross. I am so glad they did.
Good on you for getting back on your path. I know you know that we have to take each day as they come. It's important not to get ahead of yourself and yes, I know because I used to do it.
So, this journey is not linear...be prepared for some waves. The hope is that the highs become more frequent and the lows less so.
I am sorry that his daughter felt the need to tell you that stuff. Even more sorry that he has made the poor choice of telling her that stuff.
I am glad you are beginning to see that what you imagine, very often isnt what is happening.
I have had to opportunity to pick the brains of some people who have gone through MLC's. Lucky me....LOL!
Many of them told me that very thing. That their spouses thought they were having this great life, when the reality was that they were struggling with self loathing and depression and almost in a frenzy at times to feel better.
That's why it's best to just live your life for you and your children right now. You cant figure out crazy. No use wasting valuable time trying to do that.
You really are very funny....that will take you a long way through all of this.
I think In the beginning of all this, after reading and learning just enough to be dangerous, I had an >expectation< of myself, that being "on the path" meant I was completely detached already, living my life 100% to the fullest each day, and not feeling any pain at all whatsoever. ....yeah, because that's realistic this early.
For the record, I've NEVER been a marathoner. ALWAYS a sprinter. Never understood the mindset of someone who deliberately runs for long periods of time, pacing oneself, one stride at a time, and gets there when they get there. No, seriously...I know, you're shocked. I hide this trait sooooooo well.
Somebody up there must want me to learn patience. And I do want to learn it. Right now.
.
