Had to work late today. Didn't get home until 830. Wife was very tired when I got home.She called me at 7 and asked when I could get home. She needed my help with kids. I am going to where her out Pilot. She does need to feel what it would be without my help. I helped with kids and w asked me to look at our listing with her. I did and told her it looked good. She then just wanted to talk. We talked about a cousin of mine that recently died of drug O.D. we then talked about her half brother who is a heroin.addct. He never could live up to his dad's expectations growing up. My wife's dad has played hell on all of his kids lives. When talking w wife tonight I just mentioned that her brother has turned to drugs because of his pain from growing up with her dad. Which is something we have talked about in the past. Tonite for the first time in a long long time our conversation had some depth. It felt like a little connection I haven't felt in sometime. I guess I don't want to mind read. I need to answer summons next thursday. Not going to bring it up. Going to continue PMA. Be a friend to her when she needs it. I wonder if she might be thinking about how her dad has messed up with all his kids including her. No mind reading.
M 54 W 48 T 19 M 17 D 12 Twin S 6 Twin S 6 Ilybnilwy 1/26/14 A discovered 2/3/14 D filed 7/25/14 Sumons served 8/14/14
yea, no mind reading. It seriously could be anything igit. I KNOW you WANT it to be her having some deep hidden second thoughts going on. But for your own sanity, stop thinking about it. Even if she was having those thoughts, you know as well as anyone the roller coaster. Those thoughts could be history by tomorrow and you back to being the antichrist. I kind of get the sense you are grasping for any sign she might want to reconsider. And I do not mean that negatively, just making a limited observation. I truly feel for you because the wheels are in motion with your D. You are just going to have to keep riding it out. Forget about putting any significance on replying to the summons next Thursday. Next Thursday is just another week day. You will have many deadlines, filings, hearings, meetings and what not after your reply, so why even worry about Thursday. The reality is you are no nearer or farther from a D right now than you were on BD. So try to keep that PMA the best you can, and forget about the summons being important. Hell, when you sign it, put a smiley face next to your name
Me: 42 W: 32 Married 7 years together 8.5 S1: 7 S2:7 Bomb #1: 09-16-13 Recon #1: 11/13 A discovered 04-03-2014 W filed D 05-19-14 but never served me I filed D 12-02-2014 S 05-31-14 Divorced 5-19-16
Pilot, that was good! The smiley face is great! First good laugh I have had in a while. I need to make these late nights working a must. WAW think it's going to be this great new life! I guess I should give her a chance to experience it now so she knows what to look forward to.
M 54 W 48 T 19 M 17 D 12 Twin S 6 Twin S 6 Ilybnilwy 1/26/14 A discovered 2/3/14 D filed 7/25/14 Sumons served 8/14/14
Well, please don't ignore the Summons, and the response which is due on Thursday. You do not want to let this proceed to default. Talk to an attorney first.
Wet, thanks for message. I am meeting with L today! not ignoring summons. it stinks but it is what it is. I cant change her feelings, only she can! If she wants to stop this she can! She is not the W I married! Nor the W I want to married to the way she has treated me. the lies and cheating are not the values I look for in a W. If she comes out of her fog and wants to work on M great! If not good luck to her! I
M 54 W 48 T 19 M 17 D 12 Twin S 6 Twin S 6 Ilybnilwy 1/26/14 A discovered 2/3/14 D filed 7/25/14 Sumons served 8/14/14
Met with L today. Getting stuff together for response to summons. Sounds like it will be alot of bs. W got home really nice to me. Didn't know I met with L today. I needed to get copy of tax returns asked her to get. She was quiet and went to lay down.
M 54 W 48 T 19 M 17 D 12 Twin S 6 Twin S 6 Ilybnilwy 1/26/14 A discovered 2/3/14 D filed 7/25/14 Sumons served 8/14/14
I can understand how you feel; I have decided to hire a lawyer and end this. I don't have the desire to continue this anymore, and my W is not anyone I would ever want a relationship with. Maybe someday, but by then I will have moved on.
Me37, W30, S7 Married 10yrs 05/11/04 ILYBINILWY 22/09/13 Disc. OM1 26/09/13 Disc. STD from OM2 03/02/14 Affair Confession 21/06/14
W and I share same apartment (for a few more days). W isn't pushing for D.
My W asked me why I needed copies of returns since she filled them out on her summons.I explained to her that she is suing me and I need to counter claim in my response. She got angry when I mentioned the cost of retaining L. She thinks it's inexpensive because of mediation. Not the case! I had a bible study and had to leave , she followed me to car and got in. She was angry I hired an attorney. I didn't loose my cool or get angry in any way. She calmed down, started to cry, and told me she was sorry just just wasn't happy.she said she didnt think i ever loved her. I told her i was sorry felt that way but that wasnt the case.she mentioned how well things were going with her job and me helping w kids. I said that I was happy helping, but how she thought this would work out getting a D. She had no answer. Iwhen I got home she wanted to show me pics.of our real estate listing. Sat with her a while on her bed for a while. I told her we are going to be in each other s lives till we die and I just thought she was rushing things. Probably went in one ear and out the other. Just a painful situation.
M 54 W 48 T 19 M 17 D 12 Twin S 6 Twin S 6 Ilybnilwy 1/26/14 A discovered 2/3/14 D filed 7/25/14 Sumons served 8/14/14
igit, you and I man...I am telling you...we are the same people in a parallel universe. My W did not understand the concept of a D being a lawsuit and a contested one at that is a recipe for unpleasantness. It is interesting though that she broke down at the news as it suddenly she is realizing the full gravity of what a D will entail. That it is not a Sunday picnic in the park. You did great, but in the future, maybe do not say things like 'how did you think the D would work out' and 'i just think you are rushing things' because yea, it goes in one ear and out the other. It also implies a logical mind at the other end of your words, and right now, her mind is not there.
Keep up the good work buddy!
Me: 42 W: 32 Married 7 years together 8.5 S1: 7 S2:7 Bomb #1: 09-16-13 Recon #1: 11/13 A discovered 04-03-2014 W filed D 05-19-14 but never served me I filed D 12-02-2014 S 05-31-14 Divorced 5-19-16
Tuff day today. W called me on her way home asked me what I was going to do tonite. I was honest and said work on info my L needed to respond to lawsuit. She asked me what I was going to do. I said well my L said there would be a hearing set up for 3 to 4 weeks from now with judge on summons. If he ruled in her favor I would need to vacate home in a few weeks after that, also nd to pay temp spousal and kids support. She got very quiet . I had to go into a meeting and cut conversation short. I got home and she wanted to talk. My boys came in and saved me from a talk. Anyway not really in to good a mood to talk to her. She has Affair, and wants to break up family, and thinks I should be ok. Anyway not sure how her job is going to fit into this equation. I am getting to the point of giving her what she wants on all the request in summons. Getting this over with so I can move on. I am sure there are woman out there that would treat me better then this.
M 54 W 48 T 19 M 17 D 12 Twin S 6 Twin S 6 Ilybnilwy 1/26/14 A discovered 2/3/14 D filed 7/25/14 Sumons served 8/14/14
