No new updates really, things are going along as they have been. I'm detaching more, was feeling a lil sad about whole situation...
SO...a while back my H got a PO box paid up front for 6 months, which should be close to expiring now. When I saw the receipt and confronted him he said he was getting ready at that time to move but then decided not to but the po box was paid up for 6months. He implied that once that was done he would not renew the PO box. I dont know if he has or not, but we have 1 bill that goes to his PO Box and I had to ask him each month for that bill. Well last month I ask and he did not give it to me, so I did not pay it, it was due on 8/26 and I always pay bills on time (THANK GOD WE have the money to do so) anyway,,this morning I call company auto line and there now may be a late fee...so I sent H a text texted that bill was due on 26th, may be a late fee, I did remind him this bill goes to his PObox and if he does not give me the bill to see it I can not pay it,,told him to call company see what the amount due was and if there is a late fee.
I'm not calling back when company opens and I'm not going to ask for the late fee to be removed if there is one, H can do that.
I hate this bill is late, I hate that H may still have the PO Box and or renewed it. Now I wonder what else is going to that PO BOX? H does get some mail at home, but not much....
AND I dont feel like talking to H today!!! TIRED of this mess!!!
Me 43 ring off Oct 2014 (my ring back on Feb 2015) H 51 (ring off 7/2013) M 2007 T 1996 S 14 July 2013- H told me he was unhappy.....said he is staying for Son Feb 18 2014 Found out about OW
Many of them get PO Boxes. It's their way of separating the mail/bills and not telling you what they've ordered and/or receiving in the mail. As for the bill that is late, you've called him and advised him of the bill, now it's time for him to man up and take care of it. You can't pay something if you don't have the bill.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Hi 2B, I know how hard it is when the MLC is still at home. I'm sorry things haven't improved much. I have noticed something here on the boards...it seems that almost all of the LBS's (both M/F) are (we're) the responsible ones in most areas of the M. We are the ones who payed the bills, took most care of the kids, made sure things got done, planned vacations, etc. Even if we we're the ones making the money, we were the ones making sure the bills got paid on time. Very seldom do you see a MLCer who was in charge of these things. I think it is part of the type of person who goes into MLC. I think they were always being taken care of to a certain extent while the LBS was the "care giver". Just an observation. My W wouldn't ever do these type of things but man if I made a mistake and something didn't get paid she would always be on my case! It's like they are afraid of consequences but don't want the responsibility of actually doing something. Easier to blame their S. Just an observation.
Hang in there 2B. It could be that the PO box is gone and H just didn't contact the company to change the address. The next time you actually get a bill (if ever) make sure to change the address on the bill. H is like a child right now (a destructive one with way too much power) and can't be trusted to do the simple things that any adult should do. I hope things start to get better for you.
This bill is addressed to my H with our home address, this bill is redirected to PO Box, H never changed the address on the bill itself, this bill is auto redirected I guess? Once he gives me the bill I can see it is still addressed to our home.
The rest of our home bills are electronic and come to my email.
Yes I'm the one who "handles" everything when it comes to bills and house hold stuff. Oh well...another day in lala land.
Was that a flying cow I just saw....LMAO
Me 43 ring off Oct 2014 (my ring back on Feb 2015) H 51 (ring off 7/2013) M 2007 T 1996 S 14 July 2013- H told me he was unhappy.....said he is staying for Son Feb 18 2014 Found out about OW
I was thinking 2B, If you really want to know if the PO box isn't valid anymore...offer to fill out a "Change of address" form from the Post office for the PO box that way ANYTHING addressed to the PO box will come to the house. If he freaks out about that then one of 2 things, 1) He still has the PO box in his name or 2) There were things coming to that PO box that he doesn't want "redirected" to the house. I think the reaction will tell much. If he is nonchalant about it (whether he says yes or no), than there's nothing to it except he wanted to feel some "separation" from you (something MLCers love. My W would find all kind of ways to try and "feel" separate from me ,like getting separate phone plans even though it cost a lot more). If he gets all upset than there is more to it and he was getting mail he didn't want you to know about.
Not that it matters except for the fact that the bill has to get paid. What he got if he got anything at all makes zero difference. Kind of like snooping to see if there is OP, never a good idea because all knowing can do is make things worse. Hang in there 2B and let us know how things are going!
Hey Matt H got the bill amount due from company..did not mention my hint at his pobox. I'm not going to offer to fill out a form for him..if something he is hiding going to pobox...let it..it will come out eventually. I will not ask or check on this bill again its in his name and not coming to our house so he needs to give it to me or it can get cut off and be way late. It is not a major bill...so I wish I had let it get cut off...
He was excited about his boots... When he called I ignored 3 calls and waited until he called back 1 hour later..just did not feel like hearing his voice...
Me 43 ring off Oct 2014 (my ring back on Feb 2015) H 51 (ring off 7/2013) M 2007 T 1996 S 14 July 2013- H told me he was unhappy.....said he is staying for Son Feb 18 2014 Found out about OW
I have not checked in for a while.... So mind giving me an update about you?
Are you still doing the counseling with your priest/pastor/deacon/rabbi/etc?
Have you given anymore thought to going to MC?
Me: 43 M: 10y S:15 ILYBINILWY 2/18/13 W moved out 2/18/13 Filed for D: 2/17/13 Got DB: 2/20/13 Got DR: 2/23/13 180 & LRT Began: 2/25/13 D Final Dec '13
I'm glad he liked his boots. I hope that every time he sees and wears them that he'll think of you.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
MC not an option . I have no idea when if ever I can bring that up to H. I have not had any M or R talk with H.
Still in counseling with pastor it has slowed down...feel like a stand still quiet time need a break...
Praying daily. Working on myself daily. Gal as often as I can 90% of the time I'm happy. My messed up M no longer brings me down... I'm trying hard to stand ...see tiny positive changes in my H...
Me 43 ring off Oct 2014 (my ring back on Feb 2015) H 51 (ring off 7/2013) M 2007 T 1996 S 14 July 2013- H told me he was unhappy.....said he is staying for Son Feb 18 2014 Found out about OW
Me 43 ring off Oct 2014 (my ring back on Feb 2015) H 51 (ring off 7/2013) M 2007 T 1996 S 14 July 2013- H told me he was unhappy.....said he is staying for Son Feb 18 2014 Found out about OW
