Thanks for the support and I know I will be great with whatever outcome.
Me 43 ring off Oct 2014 (my ring back on Feb 2015) H 51 (ring off 7/2013) M 2007 T 1996 S 14 July 2013- H told me he was unhappy.....said he is staying for Son Feb 18 2014 Found out about OW
So H and I had a great morning (wink wink) then as we were talking about our son and what his plans were today, I mentioned I would be out with my friends for dinner, H gave me a look that included a raised eyebrow and smirk, I said what is that look, H said I did not know you were going anywhere today...
I said yes we are going on our monthly outing. H responded with "oh" I only knew you were going to hair apt today"...
I wanted to continue with things like..."or you ok with this" "do you even care where I go" or "why do you care" "why do you need to know where Im going but I keep my mouth shut and as he walked out door for work I gave a cheery "have a great day"
H was use to me giving him a play by play as far in advance as possible of any upcoming plans I had. So this has been another 180 for me, I now only tell him IF it comes up, or if I doing something when he will be home.
But this felt like this could be like Im hiding something,,,,and I dont want H to feel like he can not trust me, especially IF he is trying to come back out of the tunnel.
So what are your thoughts,,should I go back to giving him a heads up on my plans? H does not go anywhere really but work and if he has plans he usually lets me know..and has continued to let me know,,,but I know there had to be a time when he was someplace else that he did not tell me about,,,,like with OW!!!!!
Me 43 ring off Oct 2014 (my ring back on Feb 2015) H 51 (ring off 7/2013) M 2007 T 1996 S 14 July 2013- H told me he was unhappy.....said he is staying for Son Feb 18 2014 Found out about OW
I would only give him a heads up if you are going to be gone for a period of time. He doesn't need to know about your short trips unless a conversation comes up and you mention the outing in passing.
Continue as you have been. You do not want to fall back into your old ways, i.e., changes have to become permanent.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I like the changes Im making. Praying they help my M, I know they are helping me.
Me 43 ring off Oct 2014 (my ring back on Feb 2015) H 51 (ring off 7/2013) M 2007 T 1996 S 14 July 2013- H told me he was unhappy.....said he is staying for Son Feb 18 2014 Found out about OW
Anniversary is tomorrow. I really dont think H has a clue,,he was talking to me about S and he helping a neighbor out with their yard this week on his day off. And even if he does know I dont have any expectations to celebrate which is good for me sad for M.
It was hard to find a non mushy card. Here is what I found On front- Love isn't in the failling. It's in the staying there. Inside- Happy Anniversay
I draw a heart (avoided writing I love you )and then signed my name inside.
I hope this is not too much and H does not have any negative reactions or feel pressure from this card. BUT if he does he will have to just deal with it.
I will leave it on his nightstand when I go to work in the morning.
I will wait and see what his response/reaction will be.
I was very busy GAL this weekend, and I have plans for Thursday-Saturday upcoming. Tomorrow I might go out with a friend for drinks, chips and salsa. I dont want to be sad tomorrow...dont want to sit around and dwell on the day. I plan to stay very busy tomorrow.
I did initate a kiss goodbye today as H left for work, he gave me one the other day,,,so I gave him one today.
Going to have me a glass of wine 2night and veg out in front of TV until time for bed. Im stronger then I thought....this time last year I was full of sadness and crying ALOT.
So thoughts on the card...too much or just right..?
Me 43 ring off Oct 2014 (my ring back on Feb 2015) H 51 (ring off 7/2013) M 2007 T 1996 S 14 July 2013- H told me he was unhappy.....said he is staying for Son Feb 18 2014 Found out about OW
H left me a gift of a GPS with a post it note "No card, same to you"
I did not expect a gift at all. So I thanked him and ask if there was anything he wanted. He mentioned some boots that he has kinda ask for on his bday, fathers day and last christmas...so when I got home I told him to let me know where they were..I went ahead and ordered them for a gift for bday, fathers day and anniversay.
we the night sitting on deck way into the night just talking WOW it was better then old times, we LOL at the crazy things our son does, LOL at family, and just LOL in general. NO talk about our M or R or even mention of anniversay. It was kinda like how you would talk and LOL on a date, just enjoying each others company.
We then ML. It was great!
BUT I know he is not out of the tunnel, not ready to fully return to M (if ever) and this was a small peak into how it could be. I hope he felt that way too, but I will continue to work on myself, GAL etc.
Oh before I came home I ran some errands, got home alot later then I normally do, and instead of H calling me to ask me where I was, H harrassed our son about my whereabouts, even telling son maybe she is over cousins and made son ride bike around corner to see if I was there..when I got home H said where were you did you have to work late,,,I was like a little and changed the subject (that was mystery).
Me 43 ring off Oct 2014 (my ring back on Feb 2015) H 51 (ring off 7/2013) M 2007 T 1996 S 14 July 2013- H told me he was unhappy.....said he is staying for Son Feb 18 2014 Found out about OW
I think you've handled everything okay. At least he thought of you on your special day. It's not the most romantic gift, but it was the thought that counted. I like the idea of you ordering him the boots.
As for him wondering where you are, sort of reminds me of a child worried about where his mom is at all of the time.
Keep up the good work.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Me 43 ring off Oct 2014 (my ring back on Feb 2015) H 51 (ring off 7/2013) M 2007 T 1996 S 14 July 2013- H told me he was unhappy.....said he is staying for Son Feb 18 2014 Found out about OW
2B I'm glad your anniversary was an enjoyable day for you and you spent some quality time without pressure. My 20th was last December and I was a mess. H did take me out to dinner and get flowers though.
It's nice that there is still some connection- reminds us that deep down there is still love, it's just buried under their confusion and pain.
Hope things continue to look up for you!
Me 41 H 40 M 20 T 23 S 19,16, 8 D 13 BD1 dec 2012 not sure going to work BD2 sep 2013 seeking a D Filed oct 2013, D Feb 2015 Life is about daring greatly, about being in the arena- Brene Brown
I felt much better then anniversary this last year, praying next year will be even better.
Paying for that midnight talk on the deck, bug bites all over my feet. But it was soooo very worth it.
BUT then,,,,last night H slept all night on the couch again? I hope he just was really tired and fell into a hard sleep...not that he was pulling back a little based on the day we had before..
Oh well, teeny tiny baby steps.
Me 43 ring off Oct 2014 (my ring back on Feb 2015) H 51 (ring off 7/2013) M 2007 T 1996 S 14 July 2013- H told me he was unhappy.....said he is staying for Son Feb 18 2014 Found out about OW
