Took kids to lake had a great time. Got home last night and w was home. Complaining that I get to have and do fun stuff with kids. I told her she was welcome to come. She said some smart at ic comment. I got upset and mentioned I was suprised that she didn't warn me about summons. She spewed I spewed we calmed down and talked about an hour. We laid in her bed hugged for a while. This am we talked about our schedules for week. Got along well. Started to get intimate, w was into it so I went for it. I know it's probably against 180 rules but I don't totally agree. If it brings us closer together what the heck. I know she is in a fog still. With starting new job and me taking on bigger roll with kid's I am not giving up. I know I need to answer summons with in 28 days. Then another 60 to 90 days for a hearing. So I have some time to turn this around. I hope to keep good communication going on at home. Hopefully more alone time and get her to lift out of fog. She is telling me today she thinks we should sell home in spring, we can live together until school is out yata.yata. I am thinking this is same w who said she had to move out she was going stir crazy etc.. anybody out there have a read on this. Alot can happen in 9 months I need to be patient.
M 54 W 48 T 19 M 17 D 12 Twin S 6 Twin S 6 Ilybnilwy 1/26/14 A discovered 2/3/14 D filed 7/25/14 Sumons served 8/14/14
Well w will be pushing me on this summons to see what I am going to do. I am not really sure at this point what I am going to do. I could agree to mediation which would be quickest lest painful. But I am not sure I want that either. My thinking is if I am not convinced in next 3 weeks that this affair is really over I may elect for long drawn out version. I really don't want my kids being raised by a skum bag that cheated on my family. I don't know if w would be able to stay in home for duration of a trial if still in affair. So I have alot to figure out and with w teaching it gives me a chance to shine with kids ad well as w.
M 54 W 48 T 19 M 17 D 12 Twin S 6 Twin S 6 Ilybnilwy 1/26/14 A discovered 2/3/14 D filed 7/25/14 Sumons served 8/14/14
Hate it for you igit. 3 weeks is not much time especially given your W is pushing the D. There is no harm in agreeing to mediation, as it is non binding. Go see what she is offering, and if it is unreasonable, then do no accept it. At the same time, it makes you come across as reasonable for agreeing to it.
Me: 42 W: 32 Married 7 years together 8.5 S1: 7 S2:7 Bomb #1: 09-16-13 Recon #1: 11/13 A discovered 04-03-2014 W filed D 05-19-14 but never served me I filed D 12-02-2014 S 05-31-14 Divorced 5-19-16
Pilot, summons is a notice I need to respond to within 28days. She is requesting mediation which if I agree to is 60 to 90 days out from submittal of my response. I am in agreement with your suggestion. The one big thing obviously is the kids. With her teaching and leaving at 6am I am getting them ready for school and dropping them off at school. I own my own business and have flexibility with schedule. I am being honest in saying I would be better able to give kids a better home in better schools and a better quality of life.if she can come to terms with that I will let her go rather easy at this point . For the last yr since Affair started she has not been there for them. Her idea of bonding is take them to the store and buy them some toys. She was a very good mom until about a yr ago and kids were starting school full time. She was depressed and looking at her life and not being happy. Of course I was the closest thing to her so she blamed me for her unhappiness. I would love it if she woke up. In fact she has been very kind to me last 3weeks. Losing my anger has helped. However twice in last month I backslid a little. The sex I have to admit was really good since it had been almost a month. Since she was into it made it better. There are so many issues from her childhood in play rt now as well. Her hating her dad and brother etc... it's nuts.
M 54 W 48 T 19 M 17 D 12 Twin S 6 Twin S 6 Ilybnilwy 1/26/14 A discovered 2/3/14 D filed 7/25/14 Sumons served 8/14/14
I have read alot about mlc.there are so many signs that point to mlc. Of course I looked ay myself and realized things I could have done better. I have made big changes in my life for the better. I think looking back she has been rejected by her dad her whole life. I truly believe she is wanting me to reject her. It feels more natural to her. Crazy stuff. And of course her being a christian woman until last yr she ran from church, all her church freinds anybody that would question what she is doing. The waw or mlc only look for people to encourage or agree with there actions. So I don't know how to deal with this except be patient and look at her like she is ill.
M 54 W 48 T 19 M 17 D 12 Twin S 6 Twin S 6 Ilybnilwy 1/26/14 A discovered 2/3/14 D filed 7/25/14 Sumons served 8/14/14
I have read alot about mlc.there are so many signs that point to mlc. Of course I looked ay myself and realized things I could have done better. I have made big changes in my life for the better. I think looking back she has been rejected by her dad her whole life. I truly believe she is wanting me to reject her. It feels more natural to her. Crazy stuff. And of course her being a christian woman until last yr she ran from church, all her church freinds anybody that would question what she is doing. The waw or mlc only look for people to encourage or agree with there actions. So I don't know how to deal with this except be patient and look at her like she is ill.
M 54 W 48 T 19 M 17 D 12 Twin S 6 Twin S 6 Ilybnilwy 1/26/14 A discovered 2/3/14 D filed 7/25/14 Sumons served 8/14/14
igit, our situations are more similar than you may think. My W was MIA on the kids for months while she was having her A. I was leaving work early and picking them up from school, cooking them dinner, giving them a bath, and playing with them before bed time. She would see them for 30 minutes in the morning, and the oldest for another 15 minutes after he got home from school 4 days a week. Nothing you could say would make her realize the kids missed her. I also owned my own business, and enjoyed the flexibility of scheduling. But as you know, you do not make money unless you work, and sometimes your work dictates your schedule. She would over compensate with the kids many times. She also went unhappy for a while, although I do not think it was MLC, as she just turned 30. I think it was a combination of a lot of things which made her unhappy. I do not think I am/was the sole source of her unhappiness, but since I was closest I caught the blame. Not to say I was perfect, but I get what you are saying.
We have our ups and downs right now. The big down was resolved (kids school) so things are more or less up, relatively speaking. Just keep at it igit, and keep doing what works. Avoid those backslides as much as possible, and take what is given to you.
Me: 42 W: 32 Married 7 years together 8.5 S1: 7 S2:7 Bomb #1: 09-16-13 Recon #1: 11/13 A discovered 04-03-2014 W filed D 05-19-14 but never served me I filed D 12-02-2014 S 05-31-14 Divorced 5-19-16
Thanks Pilot , I here you and story similiar. Been together 19yrs. W is 48 a very stunning looking woman. She just started this new teaching job. Hasn't taught high school in 15yrs, so big change, she leaves at 6am. I get kids to school. I am still thinking Wtf our you thinking. It's dam hard doing this kid thing married, throw in a job for her now and what are you thinking. Well I see the mlc signs and hope she comes out of it. I really think she will be surprised in me wanting full custody, I do still love this woman and no it could be so much better, but it takes 2 to tango.
M 54 W 48 T 19 M 17 D 12 Twin S 6 Twin S 6 Ilybnilwy 1/26/14 A discovered 2/3/14 D filed 7/25/14 Sumons served 8/14/14
