Tomorrow is a new day! Too much to do to waste time on H.
Interesting MLC gives new meaning to this song for me...
Carry On My Wayward Son
Carry on my wayward son There'll be peace when you are done Lay your weary head to rest Don't you cry no more
Once I rose above the noise and confusion Just to get a glimpse beyond this illusion I was soaring ever higher, but I flew too high
Though my eyes could see I still was a blind man Though my mind could think I still was a mad man I hear the voices when I'm dreaming, I can hear them say
Carry on my wayward son, There'll be peace when you are done Lay your weary head to rest Don't you cry no more
Masquerading as a man with a reason My charade is the event of the season And if I claim to be a wise man, Well, it surely means that I don't know
On a stormy sea of moving emotion Tossed about, I'm like a ship on the ocean I set a course for winds of fortune, But I hear the voices say
Carry on my wayward son There'll be peace when you are done Lay your weary head to rest Don't you cry no more no!
Carry on, You will always remember Carry on, Nothing equals the splendor Now your life's no longer empty Surely heaven waits for you
Carry on my wayward son There'll be peace when you are done Lay your weary head to rest Don't you cry, Don't you cry no more,
No more!
M44, H44, both M before M4 yrs, T6 BD 7/13 ILYB something isn't right with me H att suicide 2/14 S 4/14 OW disc 5/14 D final 4/15
It is funny how so many things gain new/different meaning as our experience and perspectives change. The more you slow down and pay attention the more you allow the universe to speak to you. Like receiving the messages from the Oprah show.
Ok that sounded hokey but it is 2 am and didn't come out quite right.
I have really learned to slow down this past year It really serves me well as I deal with this marathon. I used to always have to be 10 steps ahead and have contingency plans for every perceived twist and turn ahead.
Now I live day by day and am so much happier. Who knew h was right all alomg? As you said just keep moving forward and don't worry about when and if he will catch up.
Your head is in the right place and you recognize the starts and stops comingg from h for what they ate. You recognize the need to detach more. Even on the days when it feels like total bs just keep telling yourself what you need to do. I am a big believer in fake it till you become it.
Catry on.
Me 44 H 42 M 10 T 12 (at time of BD) Ss 20 16 S11 (special needs)
BD 9/13 H "unhappy for years" moves to seperate bedroom 10/13 EA/PA confirmed but denied S and I move out 3/15
Hey Shining. I'm a big song lyric guy myself and a big KISS fan. I've always liked "A Million To One" because I think it sums up what happens a lot of times in MLC cases. Check out the bold part. Here it is...."A Million To One" by the hottest band in the land.......KISS!
Baby, now that you've made up your mind I'm gonna let you go, if that's what it takes to show love is blind I gave you the best love you ever had, but it wasn't enough So if you think you're so smart, go and play with your heart When you walk out the door, you'll realize what you never did before
A million to one - that's what it will be A million to one - there's someone better than me A million to one - no, you never will find A million to one - another love like mine
Yeah, we chose our sides and I've been misunderstood But everytime I try to open your eyes, I'm damned and I'm no good Day after day, you're further away, I can't take anymore So it's time that you go, but I want you to know, I won't stand in your way Deep in my heart I know, girl you're runnin' away
A million to one One of these days you'll come out of your haze, no matter what you do It'll be too late, something good won't wait, love is runnin' out on you A million to one, a million to one
listen to your heart girl - a million to one -
A million to one - no, you never will find A million to one - another love like mine A million to one
Currently: M 56 XW 57 Sons 38,33,31,29
The Sitch: Married 26 years EA w/ OM 9/10 Bomb 10/10 (5 weeks after 25th anniversary) Sep 12/10 She wants D 1/11 W files 5/11 D final 10/11 XW marries OM 6/13
JG, not hokey at all... I do believe things are presented to us at times when we are ready to hear and learn those lessons.
Tad, thanks for the lyrics:). Did you go to the concert?
TODAY IS A NEW DAY, HOORAY FOR PMA!!!
I have a huge list for this week. Hoping it will keep my focus on ME and what I need to do. I wrote a rough draft of non-negotiable needs in a R, and in my life. I'm studying how to identify and apply boundaries....again.
I'm excited to see what God has planned his week. It's probably something really spectacular....even if I don't see it all with my own eyes.
Goals/To Do list this week: 1. Morning prayers, gratitude, forgiveness 2. D13 physical exam for volleyball, school supplies shopping 3. S16 haircut, school clothes, school schedule pick up, Archery class 2x, car insurance (yikes) 4. Review household budget, make some decisions to save where I can 5. Send minimum 30 resumes out by Friday, 1-2 interviews by Friday 6. Do something nice or pampering for myself everyday 7. Trainer at least one day this week (usually 2, but with school next week, might be one.) 8. Sleep > 7 hours every night. 9. Stay dark as possible. Continue to NOT initiate contact 10. Work on personal boundaries list, have a clear understanding of what they are, and what the result is if crossed.
You want to hear something really odd.....just last night my W texted me late (very unusual for her) she was asking me to do something concerning my D14 and I didn't expect ANY response which is what I usually get. You know, the old "He's not worthy of me acknowledging HIM". Not only did she text me back "Thank you" but she added a SMILEY FACE. My W has NEVER put the dumb smiley face things in her texts! I swear sometimes these MLCers do exactly the same things at the same times. It's like they are getting the same instructions from the "mothership" or something! Not only that I have listened to "Carry on my Wayward Son" and thought the same thing as you. "Tossed about like a ship on the ocean" indeed!
The last line from a post on your last thread worries me. He is definitely NOT choosing OW over you! It is so obvious that you mean much more to him than she ever has or ever will. No he isn't "wanting" her more than you. He just is so afraid (fear is what drives these a$$hats more than any other emotion if you ask me!) of you and what you represent in his mind. I really think that deep down the WAS's still love us. They miss what they had but are so afraid of going back because of many things. Guilt, shame, acknowledging that they were wrong to do what they did, fear of being rejected, thinking that things will just go back to them "feeling" trapped, all these things and more are going through their minds. I really don't think he is picking OW over you, Shining. She is just a balm, someone to make him feel better about himself when deep down he knows he messed up big time! You are the prize Shining and part of him see's that which is way the "touch and goes" and the wanting to be with you. If he can't step up and get himself together he will lose you and he knows this. At the same time he CAN'T get himself together because he is MLC!
You are better than her and part of H knows this. You need to always remember that too!
When I read DB bunch, I immediately went into song, "here's the story.... Of a lovely lady". That's you, Shining! Impressive list. Hope the week starts off well:-)
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
It's NOT about H "picking" OW over you. H is running from his old life. You represent the biggest part of this old life. OW is new and shiny... for now. A temporary bandaid that will wear off.
It's all about him, and the issues he needs to resolve on his own. Exciting journey time for you. Better pack a lunch!
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
GREAT post Shining - keep up the good attitude, it will carry you far!! Love the song and I had not read the lyrics post BD but you're right it does fit. Love Tadpoles Kiss song too - wow so fitting!!! The music really does help us get through this. I'm a rock and roll girl but even these lyrics from a Kelly Clarkson song rang true for me: What doesn't kill you makes you stronger Stand a little taller Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone What doesn't kill you makes a fighter Footsteps even lighter Doesn't mean I'm over cause you're gone
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger Just me, myself and I What doesn't kill you makes you stronger Stand a little taller Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone
it does get better I promise you - I really feel like mine did me a favor by leaving so I don't have to witness this up close. He broke my heart but now i'm stronger and looked inside myself for happiness. finding it too. You got this!!
Me - 42 exH - 56 Married 10.5 years Together 17 bomb dropped 1/6/14 signed papers 2/4/14 H moved out 2/22/14 D final 4/4/14 Dropped the rope 5/17/14 2 cats, 2 dogs
