The Amoeba Whisperer: "It's All Dog Training!"

[GoatGal]

Wonka,

"Emotionally vulnerable" just begins to describe it.

I was doing pretty well until this week, finally realizing it's the anniversary of when I found OW and my life exploded.

That is why I have been so weird.

I am very fragile right now, really over-tired, not strong like I usually am.

I really don't feel like I can handle any more bad news right now.
---------------------

I understand that might not be what he has in mind, but the guy has been pretty much all over the map.

I feel I have a right to say what I will and will not discuss, and at what time.

This is not a good time to hear anything earth-shattering, trust me on that.

I am at one of my lowest points since all this happened so I feel I need to protect myself if I can.

I know I can't halt the inevitable, but I can delay it.

After a weekend boat trip, some time away, some distance... I will feel better.
But not today.


So yes. I can sleep on it.
But I don't think I'll feel differently tomorrow.

The only thing that might happen is he might initiate some other communication that points to a less stressful possibility.


Thanks for listening and talking me down, Wonka.

It's good to know you're out there, wherever you are!


----GGG

[GoatGal]

Shining,

At this point, I don't even want to READ that he wants to talk about something unpleasant tomorrow!

I know I can decline to discuss it, but I want to stop that brain-worm from crawling in. Once it's in, it's in for good. Even if we don't "talk" about it.

I need some more time to calm down, more than just overnight.

I guess I don't see why saying "IX-NAY on the AINFUL STUFF-PAY" is so wrong when I feel it's what I need to do to preserve my sanity at the moment.

---GGG

[Wonka]

GGG,

Yes, the anniversary of our BD and discovery of the OW/OM can be tough to swallow. Funny, I had my moment when August 12th came and went. For me, August 12th will always be my BD when Ms. Wonka moved out with the OW. You just cannot ever forget the BD or whatever else happened.

I get that.

Even if you're still feeling this way tomorrow, you can always tell GUBU to take a rain check on the talk because you're overly tired and will not be able to focus on the talk. Thanks for his understanding in advance. Then leave it at that.

I figure that if it is not an emergency, it can wait another day or two. The sky will not fall down!

I hope you will find a way to take care of yourself tonight because you do deserve it.

[Shining]

I guess I don't see why saying "IX-NAY on the AINFUL STUFF-PAY" is so wrong when I feel it's what I need to do to preserve my sanity at the moment.

I don't think there is anything wrong with saying that at all.

It's the expectation of another, to have respect for this request. Especially and MLCer (GUBU) who is already not respecting you or the marriage.

I myself am not advocating this, but I have heard others get to the point that they had to block a phone number so they would protect themselves from nasty text messages.

If your health is in jeopardy, you do what you have to do. Period.

I'm with Wonka.... See how you feel tomorrow. After a good night's sleep. It will be a new day.

Nothing is on fire.

[GoatGal]

Thanks, Wonka.

I don't want to miss the opportunity to talk.

This has happened before, he's wanted to talk, I've shut it down out of fear or just not being able to handle it.

We ended up never talking about anything.


So I don't want to blow him off if he's open to some dialogue.

I just can't handle getting more bad news.


Here is my final proposed email response:

" Gubu,

Sure, thanks for letting me know you'd prefer to talk in person.

(I agree, things don't always come across as intended in text/email.)

It would be helpful to let me know ahead of time what you'd like to discuss.

To be fair to you and what you might have to say, I am asking you to wait on revealing anything that might be hurtful right now because I don't think I will be able to respond to it in a constructive way.

I'll let you know as soon as I feel I can have an open dialogue about such things, if that's what you want.

Thanks,

---GGG"

I mean. THIS ^^^^ IS the TRUTH.

[Wonka]

GGG,

Please know that I love you and you're loved deeply here!

((((GGG))))

[GoatGal]

Back atcha (((WONKA)))) !!!!!

[Shining]

Ditto, that .

I'll be thinking of you tomorrow!! Positive thoughts dancing your way.....

[GoatGal]

Thanks guys...

Sheesh..

Incidentally, should I be willing to have a "talk" AT ALL with a guy who was just so nasty about waiting 30 minutes and got angry when I didn't jump when he said "jump"?

Much less listening to anything HE wants right now.

Just saying'....

---GGG

[GoatGal]

And thanks, Shining.

You're right, that is an expectation that he will respect my request.

I honestly think he would, if only because he fears me getting emotional.
I know for a fact that's the LAST thing he would want!

I'm pretty sure he KNOWS that if he drops a bomb on me, it's not going to go well...

Or maybe all my DBing has shown him that this new "Calm, collected, never get my panties in a twist GGG" is the NEW ME. And that's the green light he's needed to feel safe enough to take the next step.

But you're right.
I'm talking myself into a mess that might not even exist....

Tonight--nothing to do, nowhere to go, stuck here as usual.

So not spinning is difficult right now.

---GGG