New thread--sorry I don't have what it takes to post my previous ones here yet.
Just a note on why I get so annoyed on GUBU being MIA with these animals.
I am a 120 pound woman who just got done wrestling a 300 pound goat out of a metal gate and emerged (mostly) unscathed.
(Woo Hoo!!!)
However, I am bruised and shaking. These goats have horns, and it is not a one-person job to deal with a panicked animal underneath a heavy metal gate, horns caught in chains, and other goats milling around, butting each other, and going nuts because it's feeding time.
I could have gotten gored or my arm broken. I didn't, but I was very lucky.
The whole time, I'm cursing GUBU. I was so angry. I am still angry.
This is the kind of thing that happens and he is off in la-la land.
I think the solution is going to be if he can't be relied upon to be here, the animals will have to go. Or I will have to go. I'm just over living like this.
As much as I love them, it's only a matter of time until I get really injured.
I have said this to him numerous times, about how we could set up the feeding stations to be safer for me, etc. but he has not bothered to make any of that happen. He doesn't have a problem with it--so....
I don't see having someone else do it as a solution either. It just means it's easier for him to dump on me because now it's less dangerous.
So it's not just like he can beg off and assume I'm doing this on my own and I should be OK with it. I am not OK with it.
I may be Gumby Goat Gal, but I am not Wonder Woman.
At least not yet.
Venting over.
---GGG
Me 54 Him 63 M 23 T 29 0 Kids Funny Farm of Rescues 12/12 OW-- 5/13 ILYBINILWY: A denied 9/13 Proof OW: ENDED 2/14 Got D papers on my BD I kicked him out for my sanity 9/14 He wants to "talk"?
Be careful You may need to hire help....or get rid of animals. Sorry you are having this dangerous responsibility alone'
Me 43 ring off Oct 2014 (my ring back on Feb 2015) H 51 (ring off 7/2013) M 2007 T 1996 S 14 July 2013- H told me he was unhappy.....said he is staying for Son Feb 18 2014 Found out about OW
I am sorry that you had such a close call! Glad you're alright.
We all have our own transitions and need to learn to let go of some things that are not beneficial. It is for you to decide.
For me, I chose not to have dogs for a while because of my hectic work schedule and it wouldn't be fair for all involved. I looove dogs with a passion. After my other two dogs died of some dreadful illness (cancer and septematica) where I witnessed the first one die in our arms (Ms. Wonka and I--sometime in August of 2007) and put the other one to sleep in 2009, I said, "That's it. No more dogs."
Since being dog free, I find that I do more GAL and am able to travel more. Sweet.
It is a personal choice when it comes to animals. From the sound of what you frequently post here, it is A LOT of work!
I'm glad to come here and read that you are okay. Please be careful around the goats. They are cute and adorable, but when it comes to feeding time, they can be quite a bit to deal with.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Whoa! Be careful. Those goats can do crazy stuff! I'm glad you're ok. I seems you know exactly what you're doing though.
I wonder if you dropped all expectations of H and just hired someone else to help you out... maybe someone mildly attractive perhaps or someone who makes you laugh. Make it so you don't need your husband. Would that be a 180? I wonder if he'd get all huffy about it. WDYT?
Nothing draws my anger to the surface like situations where I need Smokey...for example...moving D20 back and forth from school or when she had pneumonia or when I had pneumonia.
You're a tough cookie GGG. You will be ok. GUBU, on the other hand....hmmmmmm...not so much.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
I have the farm boy lined up, he's just down the road.
I was holding off because I thought it would create more tension for GUBU.
But I think that's what I need to do.
Not even mention it to him, just do it.
He'll see things getting done.
Unfortunately, he probably would never have to guts to ask about it.
As it stands, I texted him about the goat incident hours ago. Probably shouldn't have, but shoot. They're his goats too.
Anyhow, it was light-hearted--- about me being the "Goat Whisperer" and rescuing Julius....and that he might want to think about fixing that gate tomorrow.
No response now for hours. That is unusual for him.
So it goes.
The man is weird.
Sometimes I even wonder if he IS a real person anymore.
There is so much missing from him these days.
Goodnight, DBers!!!
Taking some sleepy-time drugs, going to bed early, and yes, Wonka, I ate a GOOD DINNER!
---GGG
Me 54 Him 63 M 23 T 29 0 Kids Funny Farm of Rescues 12/12 OW-- 5/13 ILYBINILWY: A denied 9/13 Proof OW: ENDED 2/14 Got D papers on my BD I kicked him out for my sanity 9/14 He wants to "talk"?
GGG, I am glad you are safe, and I know what it is like to be wrestling with something that needs two people when you are only one person and not a large one! The temptation is to be angry with the other person for not being there, for putting us in this situation. But what if he were sick? He isn't going to wake up because you had a close call. I had cancer and my xh didn't 'wake up'
I wonder if part of your personal journey is to be doing something different? A real 180 for you, and not simply with regard to your relationship.
You mentioned that GUBU pays all the bills. I sat there, literally stunned for some time. Did I read that right? The way everyone sets up their relationship is their own affair, but I am older than you and simply cannot imagine this state of affairs.
Why not get estimates for an automated feeding system? We have to accept they are gone - sometimes they are permanently gone and sometimes it is temporary. The more independent we are of them, the better decisions we will make regarding our long term future. If our financial affairs, and business affairs are heavily intertwined, it is good to start unwinding them earlier rather than later, particularly if they go off on a prolonged spending spree at some point, or even go AWOL, leaving us with unpaid bills.
A lot of the things my xh and I did together formed part of the glue of our relationship. Now I am realising I want something different from life.
Like the lovely Wonka, I do not have pets, because they are a tie I do not need. I raised three children, and I love not being responsible for anyone else. Doesn't mean I don't care.
The challenge is re-imagining our lives. This is hard to do after investing many many years with one person, but the reality is they may not sort themselves out. Sometimes the MLCer wakes up and the LBS is long gone.
I could have had some sort of r with my xh, but wholly on his terms. Not enough. I want something better than that. Exclusivity for a start!!
