Possible MLC WAH, and need guidance

[CaliGuy]

Atsbaby

Looks like you have some positives to work with .. keep it up!!

[LoisB]

Ats,

You are doing awesome! Give yourself an Atta Girl for maintaining your composure while you sort out your feelings.

I acted impulsively almost every time I was given such a challenge...especially when OW was involved. I gave in to my instincts and I regret it.

Holding your tongue until you are on more solid ground isn't going to change anything. You said yourself that he may have kept the note somewhat accessible in the hopes you would find it. This sorta gets him off the hook in terms of holding onto the burden of this big secret, dontcha think?

Personally, I'm all for giving them a long rope to hang themselves. Allow him to carry this burden. Don't make it any easier by handling the heavy lifting for him.

But, I know how hard it is. And, I'm sorry you have been put in this position. You're doing great.

[Atsbaby]

Let's try this again...stupid internet!

Thank you for the encouragement.

H wanted to "talk to you, nothing major" at ball practice last night. Great, what is this going to be about?

H needs a receipt out of my car to go run an errand. I get it, and while we are standing there H asks if I have plans for Saturday. I tell him just football...I'm thinking he's wanting to do something with the kids, right?

"I have a tee time at 4. Would you like to go play? Maybe your parents could watch the kids? Or we can take them and we'd have to pay another fee for carts and possibly for them to play. Whatever you want to do." WTF?

I tell him sure, since he seemed really nervous that I might tell him no. He then begins his excuses like no one else to play with and he didn't want to play by himself, blah, blah, blah... I'm going on an outing with H!

[Wet]

Atsbaby, that's good news. But stay detached. You know this is a rollercoaster ride that you're on. Let him do the talking and be a good listener. You know this, good luck.

[Atsbaby]

So here is where I backslide....

H returns from errand. He doesn't bring his chair to sit in. He stands behind me, close and finds different reasons to touch my arm or head or shoulder. I know what he wants!

We return home after practice and we eat dinner. There is lots of joking and teasing, I think old H was with us.

A few days ago, my baseball team played against his. He wanted to place wager on it...made me choose. I said back rub, thought my team was going to win and I really wanted a back rub!

Anyways, I lost, so last night H mentioned his back was "hurting." I owed him so I payed up. We were sitting on the bed, I know...his choice, and we were having decent conversation. Back in dec/jean, we had talked about something's that we wished could change....him wanting me to initiate.

He brings this up and, well you know....

So today monster is back. I don't have regrets, but I need to recalculate everything!

[Atsbaby]

Thanks Wet. I was thinking the same thing. As long as I'm out there for ME, I'll be ok. I will not tell him about everything going on because he doesn't care. He shows this too often now.

His talking with me tonight still indicates where his line of thoughts are...D. But some of his actions are saying other things. Like I said before, I think me being less responsive seems to be working for now.

[Shining]

Ats,

I'm following you and supporting you from afar .... I have zero answers because, well, this is new for me ....and my H is crazy too so.... GRRRRRRRRRR.

BUT,

Hugs, hang in there, and know you're supported and cared about. When I'm an old weisenheimer and have the been-there-done-thats, I'll have better words to say .

The only word I want to say right now can't be posted.... Against the rules.

[Atsbaby]

I totally understand Shining!

So H was offered a coaching position at the local high school. Unfortunately, practice starts at 3 and H doesn't get off work until 5. He emailed me about it yesterday, which is the one I did respond to...validated and said it was a tough decision to make- dream job of coaching (and being a teacher) or continue on a career path you have told me repeatedly that you don't like anymore!

He then replies that he'd take a pay cut-yes you would, but it wouldn't matter if you'd come home dumba$$, cause when I finish my degree, I'd be making what he does and he would still be making. 2x what I do now! Plus it's not about the money....hello light bulb?

Maybe this will help him put his life into perspective. I will support him with what ever decision he makes, while we are together. He needs to think REAL HARD about his life. I'm not telling him what to do...and I think that's what he is wanting.

[Atsbaby]

So my "date" with H went well. There was a lot of joking and cursing of golf equipment! We strictly played golf, like two friends, which was nice. There was a little flirting from H, but lead to nothing...which I didn't want (we need to build our friendship back because we are such strangers).

H stayed off his phone until the very end. Claims it was his bro...I didn't ask and didn't question when he offered info (don't really believe all of it was bro).

I felt like I was actually hanging out with teenage h, but I figured that may happen since I've seen this teenager a lot lately. Plus when we first started dating, he would invite me to golf outings with him...can we say replay!

H dropped me off and then I GAL by watching a funny movie

Tomorrow will be nice. I'm hanging out with my brother and his wife along with my dad, plus my kids. We're going to our state fair and I haven't done this in years especially since H doesn't care for crowds. We are going to have a blast!

[Ss06]

yay for fun golf dates!

I hope tomorrow is really fun. Eat some cotton candy for me! Or a funnel cake. A funnel cake is good!