It's day 2 of wifes new teaching job. She is definitely tired. Up at 6 this week for oreantation. Home at 430 5. It will be a routine starting next week when our kids start back to school. I am trying to quietly make it all about her rite now. Cooked dinner last 2 nights. My daughter went to my office with me after dinner to put a slide show together for our tball party tomorrow night. Wife stopped in with boys to see if she could help. I am doing some of the things now I should have been doing for her during our m. Rt now I am just living one day at a time and thankful no D talk for last 2 weeks. I do get the feeling she doesn't mind being around me rt now. We are doing tball party tomorrow night. Thursday night we are going to be doing a real estate listing together. She will do marketing, I will do negotiations with her input as well as our clients. Our friendship seams to be getting better. It's a start for sure. I would love to hear what advice Sandi would have on my sitch.
M 54 W 48 T 19 M 17 D 12 Twin S 6 Twin S 6 Ilybnilwy 1/26/14 A discovered 2/3/14 D filed 7/25/14 Sumons served 8/14/14
It took a long time for our m to slowly deteriorate and I think it will take time for her to want to make an effort. The last 2 yrs we seemed to have been running kids in different directions one team game here other kids with me some other game. She was feeling like I didn't care about her. Not being the kind of man I should have been. We haven't spent any lone time together in a month other than a fight here or there. Thursday night should be a good night getting to do a real estate deal together. I miss her. Just need to keep doing my own thing, be happy!
M 54 W 48 T 19 M 17 D 12 Twin S 6 Twin S 6 Ilybnilwy 1/26/14 A discovered 2/3/14 D filed 7/25/14 Sumons served 8/14/14
Today was twin boys tball party. As head coach I gave awards and s speach to each individual player. I thanked wife and daughter in beginning of speach. For the first time in a long time my wife was laughing like crazy at some of my funny comments in speach. I looked over at her and she seamed happy to be with me for a night. Anyway party was over at 8. Wif was sound a sleep in her room by 9. New job is making her tired. All in all a good night. Just living my life like I want to rt now. No pressure on w. No pursuing, no expectations.
M 54 W 48 T 19 M 17 D 12 Twin S 6 Twin S 6 Ilybnilwy 1/26/14 A discovered 2/3/14 D filed 7/25/14 Sumons served 8/14/14
Well not best day. At 5 pm was with wife and one of twins. There was a knock at door. Wife and I went to door it was a person delivering a paper .asked me my name and handed me a summons. I looked at it and realized it was a divorce summons. Nice. I looked at wife and took it up to my room. Didn't say a thing. We had an appointment at 6 together for a real estate meeting. Drove to meeting she said I am sorry they were supposed to get ok from her before they delivered. I just said it was ok. We went to meeting which was good. After meeting she asked if I wanted to go get something to eat. I said ok, should have passed. We got to resteraunt and she was crying. I said look it's ok I understand. We ordered food and she said look we can go over this together it's generic and I wanted to talk with you before you got this. I told her I would look at and not to worry about it. I didn't really want to discuss or review together. We ordered beers.bad move. I said a few things.I deserved better, etc.. talked about her dad, her brother, etc.. talked about religion, other m. Which she denied being apart of decision. We didn't argue, I didn't become angry. Ate went on home, she came into my room,gave me a long hug and said she was tired. I told her it would be ok. She asked me if I read summons, I said yes and left it at that. Crazy day. Here we go. She tells me I am a great dad and person.I am thinking wtf. I told her I didn't come from a D family and she did and she doesn't understand impact. I did tell her I didn't like how she was treating me in front of kids and she agreed. Oh well I guess I need to put my best DB face on and gal.
M 54 W 48 T 19 M 17 D 12 Twin S 6 Twin S 6 Ilybnilwy 1/26/14 A discovered 2/3/14 D filed 7/25/14 Sumons served 8/14/14
I'm so sorry to hear that, igit. What an awful thing to open the door to. When you said it was ok and that you understood, did you really understand why she was doing it? I also thought it was curious that she said it wasn't because of OM. If not that, then what?
M:35 W:31 S: 9 D: 5 M: 11.5 yrs BD: 5/13 W moved out: 7/13
I couldn't sleep felt like I had to get out of my room. I am tired of sleeping in that big room by myself. At 1215 am I quietly lett. Wife heard me leave and ,called. Asked me to come home. She said she would stay with me. I told her I couldn't stay there tonight. She tells me earlier in night she wants to be like her mom. Which was live alone. I felt sorry for her. I told her that was our difference in childhood. A broken family is a result of her actions in her hate for brother, dad, and she could be the one to brake that chain. You can't reason with a waw.mlc. whatever you want to call it. I am just so sick of all this. I will be strong for kids. I now have to wonder what she thinks I am going to do now. Commit to staying there till May when school gets out. I don't know but u know I can't go on living like this.
M 54 W 48 T 19 M 17 D 12 Twin S 6 Twin S 6 Ilybnilwy 1/26/14 A discovered 2/3/14 D filed 7/25/14 Sumons served 8/14/14
I understand how you feel. My W comes from a family where her dad had an affair and left the family. It destroyed them and I see the wake of it even today. Knowing the pain that she went through when her dad left, it just doesn't make any sense to me why my W would do the same to her kids. Unfortunately, she is not willing to do anything to get the help that she needs to overcome those issues from her past. From what I've read, your wife sounds like she's got demons of her own that she either is unwilling to deal with or doesn't know how to.
It seems a little confusing that she serves papers to you, but then offers to stay with you because she knows you're hurting because of her choices. I'm sure one of the vets will know better, but to me, it seems like it was a good choice to not go back.
M:35 W:31 S: 9 D: 5 M: 11.5 yrs BD: 5/13 W moved out: 7/13
Topgun, thanks for post. Yespecially it's crazy , she can be and has been a loving wife for most of m. However whenever we had issues it always had to do with her dad or her brother. Her brother is my best freind. She even has admitted that was a problem for her because she felt like he hated her. It's messed up big time. Her dad is root of problem. Never gave her time of day. Left her mom with 3 little kids. He took brothers mom took her . Then kids go to grandparents for 3 yrs then back to boys w dad she with mom. I have trI'd to get her to seek help but she refuses. I know getting served is not end of it yet. Things are so complicated. W has new job an hr from home leave at 6am me drop kids off at christian school at 8. It's like what are you thinking. She knows I am stable and wouldn't do anything irrational but man I am having a hard time figuring out what to do. I think a going dark is difficult with kids. We have not had any help with family watching kids, most family out of town. So it will be such a shock to me kids. Looking for advice on how to go about saving this m.
M 54 W 48 T 19 M 17 D 12 Twin S 6 Twin S 6 Ilybnilwy 1/26/14 A discovered 2/3/14 D filed 7/25/14 Sumons served 8/14/14
Topgun to answer your question. She says it's not for other m. Sometimes I believe her. The other m had his w do same thing to him. 3 kids. He is a looser . No job other than township bs.some trinket Internet buzz. Alimony 3 kids etc... I ask her and she flat out denies it's because of him. But 3 weeks ago she stopped by his home to congratulate him on baseball season. I saw her car in garage and confronted her about it. She got real angry so I new she was lieing. Anyway what do you do. Feel like she is in fog but I have to change something. She knows I have made big positive changes in me. So there is no other reason in my mind. I don't want to beat her up about it, it's like a broken record
M 54 W 48 T 19 M 17 D 12 Twin S 6 Twin S 6 Ilybnilwy 1/26/14 A discovered 2/3/14 D filed 7/25/14 Sumons served 8/14/14
