switching threads, switching gears.....

[Ggrass]

Mine said she was his soul mate and by objecting I was standing in the way of his happiness journey!

He then promptly put up a fb status and took her to a family wedding that had my name on the invite!

Although she hasn't been seen in months he's not contacting he wanted to eat cake and I'm sure he thinks I've gone bye bye. So far he's worked nothing out or thru. His emails re settlement show he's cling on the ashes, he hasn't moved on or forward in any respect.

[twinmom]

Watto...... my H planned on marrying OW, I saw texts (long story) about her son telling his friends that he was going to be his step dad and how happy that made H.....

Just remember my H didn't end things, OW did. And he pursued her for almost 2 months. He tells me now that who knows maybe he would have eventually ended things eventually.........

Db'ing worked for me AFTER the affair was over, in my sitch it didn't do anything to actually bring him out of the affair/fog

[watto14]

Thanks gg and twinmom, just wanted to hear others stories when it comes to ow, twinmom, if it's not too disrespectful to ask, how long where your h and ow having the a? so far for me, H has been with ow for at least 6 months, about the time we have been s. just seems to be going from strength to strength...
and its the little things that irk me, like him buying her flowers, him entering a Fb competition to win a trip to USA for two, her asking on Fb who are taking, him responding with pack your bags....
I know it's silly but it annoys me and it stings.
haven't had much contact with h over the past few days, doing my best to detach and pma, H was going to look after the boys the other night so I could go to dance class, I ended up canceling as I got slammed with a monster headache, H seemed concerned, thanked him for his concern, left it at that.
He then sent texts later that night, just silly conversation, and all I could think was if you're out for the night (he definitely wasn't with ow) why are you texting me, why not the ow?

sigh...

things are going really well with the life coach though, and I'm learning so much about myself

[Ggrass]

Mine said he had made his plan to leave lady October. So if it was her current ow then it's been 12 months. If it wasn't 9 months. Either either.

You might need to catch my thread. Things at turning but not with him.

[watto14]

Well my life has just taken a very bizarre turn, took the boys to swimming today, and the ow ' s bff was there, and I was quite happy just paying attention to the boys, buff started talking to me about h and ow, I told her I wasn't interested in discussing them at all, then she said if I thought there was any chance at all that h and I would reconcile that I should try, that ow doesn't want to be the one to break up a family (really?? didn't think about that over 6 months ago!!) bff said ow is 'distraught ' that when my s7 met her apparently s7 said mummy and daddy still over each other and he want us all to live together.
I reiterated that I had nothing to say, that it's their decision, and perhaps they should have thought about the kids earlier.
ow wants to talk to me, I don't know what to do with that, I certainly won't be contacting her, but what do I do if she contacts me?
bff also said there is no way ow would ever move in with h, she's too high maintenance and not into kids (kind of makes me feel sorry for her daughter)

my other dilemma is do I tell h about all of this or do I just stfu, unless he brings anything up, I highly doubt he knows ow wants to talk to me.

my god, this is a mess, just when I'm getting a handle on things.

[Ggrass]

Watto the woman is not your friend. She will pass bones back to her BFF!

I know you want to know, I would too, but it just hurts.

It will make things fresh for you. And stir things up. Let it go. Just treat her with the respect of the snake pit on radars of the Lost arch!

[watto14]

ummm so apparently the ow broke up with h this afternoon, said she doesn't want to be a home wrecker??? wtf game is being played here and in addition to that h said that he loves me but he doesn't want to get back together with me, shoot me now....

[Ggrass]

I suspect they set a trap for you, hoping you would run in and declare u dieing love. Thus making him run back to ow.

Just my guess, as some play such childish games!

[watto14]

There definitely a game being played, and no I didn't declare undying love, did say marriages have ebb and flow and that the last year of marriage was pretty horrendous, but the s had actually made me look at myself and for that I was thankful, I certainly wasn't going to tell him I wanted to get back together after they have just broken up, I think there is lot more to it on her part, I think the realization of just how young the kids are and how much work they are probably hit her and the fact the twins really are pocket rockets and require a lot of attention.
This lady bis seriously high maintenance, and her daughter is at an age where she needs her mum too, so I don't know, I think honestly the whole thing is bizarre.

[twinmom]

Watto, to answer your question to me they were "together" for about one month before moving in together, lived together for 3 months and then he pursued her for 2 months. Then I went dark, took a VERY firm stand and he started making changes.

I suggest you back WAY WAY WAY off, if OW contacts you ignore her!
Let your H FEEL what being without you REALLY feels like, not having OW to comfort him.

Now it's the time to be calm, cool and make yourself unavailable