I'm deeply concerned that if I'm here and he leaves that I'll just wind up collapsing on the floor weeping. Wouldn't be the first time, unfortunately. I get overcome really easily.
I don't know that that's the last impression that I want to leave.
I suppose I can see how I feel tomorrow. Sleep might help. Sometimes I feel better in the mornings.
M - 34 H - 36 Together 10 years Married 4 years BD - March, 2014
Thanks, Maybell. I do know it's just the start of the next thing, and I'll be thinking through that here very soon, I imagine.
I guess I've just been holding out this small bit of hope that he'll have a sudden change of heart and that we could work on things and make them better.
M - 34 H - 36 Together 10 years Married 4 years BD - March, 2014
I know this is really hard, but look at how great for you the last three weeks have been. If he'd had a last-minute change of heart would you have believed in it? Would it have been deep enough?
This isn't fun, but you are on track for it to be worth it.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
I'm not sure how useful this is, but I'm holding onto a bit of the anger from today.
He didn't tell me he was leaving tomorrow until late in the afternoon, which has made it more difficult to deal with some of the things that need dealing with, like joint accounts and separation agreements.
He took another 3 hour walk today - after complaining to me about how much he had to do - presumably to avoid me.
He didn't tell me he was leaving at 9:30 until not long ago, although I doubt he booked his travel so late. And he did on his way to a long bathroom break, I guess so he wouldn't see me for awhile.
This all feels immature and juvenile. I get that he's hurting too, and this is hard for him. He has things that need to be taken care of. I'm trying to be kind and compassionate while still being neutral, but I'm also annoyed and feeling frustrated with his actions.
M - 34 H - 36 Together 10 years Married 4 years BD - March, 2014
Maybell, at this point I wouldn't have believed him, I don't think. That's a good point. I suspect I would have assumed the change of heart was because he realised he has a pretty good thing here, and there are many things that he'll need to deal with if he leaves. And, I probably would have dreaded going back to the way things were. We both need to do work, and I don't know that I would have wanted him to stay without seeing any of that work being done first, because he's been so resistant to it so far.
M - 34 H - 36 Together 10 years Married 4 years BD - March, 2014
Watching him pack up his stuff has made our life together seem so small. Some clothes, a few books, some pictures. He's not leaving with much. I know a relationship is so much, more than this, but it's hard to see all the same.
M - 34 H - 36 Together 10 years Married 4 years BD - March, 2014
Watching him pack up his stuff has made our life together seem so small. Some clothes, a few books, some pictures. He's not leaving with much. I know a relationship is so much, more than this, but it's hard to see all the same.
Yea, I can relate. It was really sad and unsettling to see our house packed up and put into storage. It seemed like at the time every single useless item tucked away in a box in the garage all of the sudden had a story behind it. All I can say is you will get past this feeling of being down soon enough.
Hang in there...
Me: 42 W: 32 Married 7 years together 8.5 S1: 7 S2:7 Bomb #1: 09-16-13 Recon #1: 11/13 A discovered 04-03-2014 W filed D 05-19-14 but never served me I filed D 12-02-2014 S 05-31-14 Divorced 5-19-16
Meghan, I can hear the pain in your words about your h packing up the things that have made a life together. I return from my trip on Saturday and my husband is doing the same that night. My heart aches at the thought of the emptiness he'll leave behind, literally and figuratively. So, I'm sending hugs to you. I'll need them on Saturday myself.
