Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
"All that spew about nitty, still could be about gg!"
From GGrass--see above ^^^^^
---GGG (Just to keep things interesting.)
Me 54 Him 63 M 23 T 29 0 Kids Funny Farm of Rescues 12/12 OW-- 5/13 ILYBINILWY: A denied 9/13 Proof OW: ENDED 2/14 Got D papers on my BD I kicked him out for my sanity 9/14 He wants to "talk"?
I was waiting for nitty to come and tell me because I thought of you GGG.
Nitty, sometimes we "shorten" names to make posting a bit more personable on the forum.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I could not handle the abuse. It was abuse have the a rubbed in my face. All that spew about nitty, still could be about gg!
I added the bolding.
M:54, H:55 T:33, M:27 12/13 BD: EA 01/14 BD: PA, H leaves 03/14 H & OW break up 05/14 H says he will file for D 08/14 H initiates D 09/14 H wants to R 12/14 Still bungling our way through R
The abbreviation list doesn't include GG, but in looking at GGrass's username, I realized it could mean "Grass is Greener"?
M:54, H:55 T:33, M:27 12/13 BD: EA 01/14 BD: PA, H leaves 03/14 H & OW break up 05/14 H says he will file for D 08/14 H initiates D 09/14 H wants to R 12/14 Still bungling our way through R
Wow Nitty I am so sorry for your sitch, I can see parts of my WAW in this, sadly it helps knowing crazy is not just something I am dealing with, not that it makes it any easier but knowing MLC is whats going on makes facing it a little better, but its us in the ring with it having to take punch after punch ... its not any easier. I am glad to see you rebound like you did, I know it feels like the world is crashing in on you. We went to a free consultation last week, strange thing was up to that point we were doing well and connecting , then after that appt she went back to OM and BAMM ... no connection/contact since.
Dont make it easy on him ... stand firm and detach, ride it out .. Give it to God, thats all we can do at this point. You are in my prayers.
Yeah, I was so focused on him thinking the grass was greener, it just stuck.
Although it won't matter things are green without his temper tantrums and dishing out punishment. His attitude was you didn't look at doing what I wanted so too late this is your punishment.
M 46 h54 Both married before T 11y Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads! Ms 18 hs 26
Thanks for your comforting words, Caliguy and Ggrass. When I read your stories I feel the odd comfort that company provides in misery.
Would you believe our next mediation appointment is on our anniversary? We promised to stick to each other until death do us part and here we are, almost 30 years later to the day, undoing our promises.
TODAY'S PROBLEM:
I've noticed that his family continues to include me on emails about life events, but are not copying him.
As recently as 4 years ago, when he discovered he was left out of something, he would've laughed and said, "Hey, what am I? Chopped liver?"
But within the last 4 years or so he took on a blame mentality, saying things like, "They are purposely excluding me." And in the last 4 years or so I would've interacted on his behalf, like, I would've let them know to copy him, or I would've forwarded this information on to him.
Right now they probably are purposely excluding him. They weren't before, but they probably are now.
When he finds out, for example, that he wasn't included in a recent birth announcement email, he will see this as more evidence that I have "poisoned the family" against him, even though I have done nothing but defend him ("He's a good man! He's just going through a MLC!")
The new parents are two of his favorite relatives and he will be very hurt. I'm continuing to detach and not influence or "fix" the situation. I am hoping this is the right thing to do regarding the recent birth announcement.
I must let go of my former role as buffer between him and his family as he continues on the path he's taken. Right?
I should not control or influence how other members of the family interact with him. Right?
(I see that I have an overwhelming need for reassurance at this point in my life. I need to develop self-reassurance.)
M:54, H:55 T:33, M:27 12/13 BD: EA 01/14 BD: PA, H leaves 03/14 H & OW break up 05/14 H says he will file for D 08/14 H initiates D 09/14 H wants to R 12/14 Still bungling our way through R
Yes, you can not help him, as hard as it is ... he must take that MLC walk on his own ... in a fog without you as his compass. This is the hardest thing I have had to do, there really is no justifying what they are doing especially to people who are not willing to do what we are doing.
Detach, work on you ... you can not worry about his feelings, what he is included on, this is his path to walk for awhile, for me .. I just pray God can have that path one day veer back onto the "high"-way I am on. But if that's not in the cards, know you will be stronger and better for this .... and I know that does not take away the hurt and pain, we all go through these emotions, have our good and bad days, its just part of us all growing into the W/H our WAS would be fools to leave.
