Wifes brother and kids came over tonight to shoot some fireworks off. All 6 of the kids were having a blast. W came home from store for a half hr and then took off to a party. She was uncomfortable with her brother. Has seen him 3 times in last 7 months. He has tried to reach out to her but she just avoids him.I have have always been very close to her brother and have kept the kids seeing each other as much as we always have. It's just not the same without wife being there. My kids and his are between 6 and 12 and I am sure they sense something isn't right. Tomorrow is Sunday I will take kids to church and do something fun with them. W has her meeting with school on Monday about pay package. I am sure she will corner me sometime tomorrow about taking this job and our future. I am going to try and be a good listener. My gut is telling me other m is discouraging her taking the job. Less time to see her.I am going to listen to her and if she ask I will say it's your decision and this is a step towards the independence she claims she needs. She knows I will do my part in getting kids up and off to school. I think Mt best avenue is to try and be her freind. Usually after seeing other m she is angry with me. I am going to be my best if this happens and try to not get sick ed into a fight.
M 54 W 48 T 19 M 17 D 12 Twin S 6 Twin S 6 Ilybnilwy 1/26/14 A discovered 2/3/14 D filed 7/25/14 Sumons served 8/14/14
wife has been avoiding me this week. seems angry. she is finalizing new teaching job in next few days. not sure what is going on with her. I think the new job and trying to think about a D is causing her anger. who gets kids ready? for school? I am trying to be strong, friendly, GAL>
M 54 W 48 T 19 M 17 D 12 Twin S 6 Twin S 6 Ilybnilwy 1/26/14 A discovered 2/3/14 D filed 7/25/14 Sumons served 8/14/14
I think anger is a part of this process. She's angry at herself, not you. She's made her bed, and now she gets to take a look at it. It's not what she wanted....And now she's got more to fix.
GAL...Be approachable and neighborly, but she's got to sort a lot of this out herself.
MLP thanks for the post. w is signing contract today! that's a good thing! I spoke to her this morning! She was angry at first I was very friendly and told her to be positive about job it was a good start for her. she seamed to relax and became less defensive. I think she is feeling the impact of having a new teaching job and the need for me to help with kids. I have been very busy at my business and my company is starting to take off despite my sitch at home. I have been working late to give wife a sense of life without me with kids. I am not sure what is going to happen in future. with this teaching job I am not sure how a D fits into the equation for immediate future. I know another m probably not on board with this teaching business. I think w is in mlc and hoping fog maybe lifting a little. its hard to go through this!i think Wifes anger is do to her seeing reality of sitch and how difficult a D would be. I have told her to take a step back from sitch and look at what future would be like. I still need to keep detaching but want to be available to talk with her when she wants. any advice appreciated
M 54 W 48 T 19 M 17 D 12 Twin S 6 Twin S 6 Ilybnilwy 1/26/14 A discovered 2/3/14 D filed 7/25/14 Sumons served 8/14/14
Wife starts teaching next Monday. she called me today at work talked about our schedules for next week. she leaves at 6am. our kids start there school following week. I will be taking them to school. wife seamed relieved when I told her I know this doesn't change anything with us rt now. i talked about getting home ready to sell next spring! Think it caught her by surprise! Just left it at that! Cut conversation short. I have been working late and have probably seen her all of 30minutes this week. I have tried really hard to mentally release all anger I have for her in any and all conversations. I know this job is big for her in gtting a more positive self esteem. iam going to try and focus on just being her friend rt now and continue to do my own thing. she is going to have to come back to me for this to work out.
M 54 W 48 T 19 M 17 D 12 Twin S 6 Twin S 6 Ilybnilwy 1/26/14 A discovered 2/3/14 D filed 7/25/14 Sumons served 8/14/14
Kind of tuff week. Good job detaching but it's Friday night. Wife heading out w girlfreind. I taking kids to Bob Evans for dinner. I really miss my wife. Our conversations this week have been short but pleasant. I am hopeful that teaching will give w a shot of self esteem. This week she was doing some work for me on my computer and she saw a file with a woman's name, she questioned me who it was. It was a business client and I told her that. I sensed a little jelous hint in her. Made me feel good. The week was great as far as showing zero anger toward her. Even though she was keeping her distance and interactions short. She has lost some of her anger. This is the hardest thing I have ever been through in my life. I have to be a man only a fool would leave. I just pray that I can draw my wife back to me soon. My ic told me the job is a huge thing for w. She thinks If w wants to give it another try it will happen by thanksgiving. Oh well I love this board and the encouraging people going through or been thru same thing.
M 54 W 48 T 19 M 17 D 12 Twin S 6 Twin S 6 Ilybnilwy 1/26/14 A discovered 2/3/14 D filed 7/25/14 Sumons served 8/14/14
Wife very friendly today. Called me 4 times while I was out this morning . She asked if I could take kids while she went to library. I took kids to pool. Have a wedding 2hrs away I am going solo to. I came down to leave all dressed up and she said wow. Asked when I would be home. I said maybe tonight maybe in am. Said goodbye to kids and took off. I am trying very hard on detaching, it define try has caught her attention this week. Well she will be busy getting ready to teach her new class this week. I am taking a few afternoons off to watch kids. I am going to be a man only a fool would leave. She is no fool. Hope the fog is lifting. No neediness on my part last few weeks. Dropped the anger,, gal ,big time this week.
M 54 W 48 T 19 M 17 D 12 Twin S 6 Twin S 6 Ilybnilwy 1/26/14 A discovered 2/3/14 D filed 7/25/14 Sumons served 8/14/14
Came home from wedding late last night. This morning I slept in and came down this morning told boys to get ready for church. Wife told me we were to be ushers at church. Surprised me that she wanted to go. It was a good day and church she reached out to a new family. I am taking kids to pool today so she can study her lesson plan. She hasn't been to our church in 2 months, it felt good to have her there.
M 54 W 48 T 19 M 17 D 12 Twin S 6 Twin S 6 Ilybnilwy 1/26/14 A discovered 2/3/14 D filed 7/25/14 Sumons served 8/14/14
I noticed w has been reading her bible in her room. I stopped into her room to get one of twins up. I have read in the mlc threads the stages and one of the signs is reconnecting wit kids. Although she never left for more than 2 or 3 days at a time. She had not been there for them emotionally just not connected. This past week I saw a dramatic change in that pattern. Although she hasn't opened up to me. In fact she will be very nice part of day and then ignore me later at night. I have tried successfully to not show any anger and it is becoming easier. Patience is so hard. It's been 6 months since this alien invaded my wife. I see signs of her old self. I am working on me which is the only thing I can work on.
M 54 W 48 T 19 M 17 D 12 Twin S 6 Twin S 6 Ilybnilwy 1/26/14 A discovered 2/3/14 D filed 7/25/14 Sumons served 8/14/14
My kids are going back to there christian school in a week. Since w leaves at 6am I will be gething kids up and drop off to school. A team effort for sure. My w knows I am committed to helping her anyway I can with help while she teaches. I guess that unconditional love.
M 54 W 48 T 19 M 17 D 12 Twin S 6 Twin S 6 Ilybnilwy 1/26/14 A discovered 2/3/14 D filed 7/25/14 Sumons served 8/14/14
