He then sends me a text - after proclaiming his love for her on Facebook for all our friends and family to see.
He says - hey sorry for the delayed response I have been running around trying to get furniture for my place. I'm pretty broke but I will try and find some cash
SERIOUSLY.
After you proclaiming you being in love and how she is your TRUE love. You want to send me a text after you ignored me for almost 2 days?
I'm so sorry you are in this sitch. But-- a couple of gentle 2x4's...
I thought you were going to stay away from him on FB, or ask your friends not to share things with you? It is understandably really difficult for you to hear about the stuff he is posting.
But.. I'm not sure what the FB post/OW have to do with his text? What would you want or expect him to do instead of returning your text with an apology for why it took him a while? I know it's frustrating, but try looking at it from a different, detached perspective. Maybe just take it at face value, without all the OW baggage? Would it be easier to hear it then?
Thanks for being gentle. I knew those were the responses I would get.
Yes I need to stay away from Facebook. We were all at dinner and my aunt was posting pictures of the boys and H's post came up on. Her feed. I asked her just not to show me anymore.
And yes that text has nothing to do with his fb post because he doesn't think I can see everything. Even though he is friends with my family.
It is hard for me to detach Claire. I am not making excuses for myself but everyone here has difference situations. My H is financially and emotionally unavailable for the boys. He couldn't even give them any money for school supplies. It's the point he's unavailable as a dad. Which whatever - but quit fighting me for custody just to spite me. I didn't respond. I knew I wasn't in the place to respond so I'm taking the cool off method.
I will probably just respond - something like alright thanks or something along those lines.
So I cooled my jets and responded. That sounds like fun, thank you
He wrote back no it's not it actually really [censored].
I said - I bet it's stressful. But I'm sure you'll take care of it, you always get stuff figured out somehow. If you want the couch let me know
He said - thanks for that. And I'll stop by sometime this week to get the couch. Thank you.
I never replied. I did want to ask about him helping with the hot water and washer like he said he would but I want to look strong confident and happy. Clearly he's having issues and I don't want to add to that or make it look like things are worse off at home. Trying to keep the road smooth on my end.
Hmmmm. A little mind-reading on MY part here, but I'd almost bet OW is turning the screws on H a little. Maybe there's a little trouble in Paradise?? Now is a good time for you to be light and breezy - maybe even a little flirty at times - all the while keeping a healthy emotional distance from H. Sometimes it helped me to think that *I* was the "OW."
You're doing great by putting some space between an "event" and your response.
M: 40 H: 44 Married 14 years S11 & D6; D20 & D19 from previous M 2BDs/PAs, 8 years apart Piecing: April 2014
Thank you. H actually came right up to me and sat next to me and chatted most of practice. He played with the boys and I gave him a smile from across the court. And I got one in return. He was using we and us referring to what we were going to do about demo'ing the bathroom to get the water pipes repaired. He seemed so happy tonight. I chatted a bit and then made sure to be on my phone texting with a smile on my face. A guy friend from work asked me out last night, I politely declined but we have been talking a lot via text. All innocent. Anyway he sent me a video and H asked what I was watching. I just replied a friend sent me something.
It was as light breezy and genuine as I've ever been
I hope I'm getting g the hang of this. And no false hope what so ever by any of his actions. But I couldn't help but think of Sandi when she told me one day H would give me a look. I know tonight wasn't 'the look' of softening but it certainly was a smile from across the basketball courts I haven't seen in ages.
