Looks like you have alot of nice positives Gotan... and I understand but try not to snoop, if she knew you went through her phone the set back would be tremendous, does you no good either way .. you can not do anything about a OM ... I know I have the same issue but its something we all must work with.
Talked to W about her conversation about S. She told me that he was angry with her. I told her I understand and said I would speak to him. We then talked a little about us and she said that she was still in shock. She also said she could see the changes I was making.
This morning I went to the gym with the W. On the way home we spoke about her conversation with son. I then asked if she would be willing to therapy. She said maybe to what end. I told her you know what I want and how I feel. I then then told her that my focus at this time was our M and hers was on the kids as it should be. I told her the boys and I are fine. The conversation was done reasonably well. I then brought up how she had cut of her feelings for me. She said that she could see why I would feel that way. She then stated that she did not do it on purpose but that it what happened. This was our first real conversation in a while and I think it was positive.
Just had a major blow up with my wife I told her that I was sick of this and she was moving back home. That she does not care about me through this whole process. I took a major step backwards told her I was leaving and she could deal with the kids.
^^^^ bad move. Try not to let your emotions dictate your actions. Right now you are upset, but in a short while you will see the error of this reaction.
Keep your focus and remember, it is a marathon. Nothing happens as fast as you want.
Me: 42 W: 32 Married 7 years together 8.5 S1: 7 S2:7 Bomb #1: 09-16-13 Recon #1: 11/13 A discovered 04-03-2014 W filed D 05-19-14 but never served me I filed D 12-02-2014 S 05-31-14 Divorced 5-19-16
I immediately apologized and let her know my feeling. She refuses to see what this is doing to the kids and it bothers me. All the anger at this situation just poured out.
Of course she refuses. She is in a fog. She is being very selfish. And she does not care what you think. All our WAS think this way. You should have already been prepared for this line of thinking. Which is why they say believe none of what you hear and only half of what you see.
This is also why detaching is so important. It allows you to avoid these types of emotional blow ups that set you back. Think about it.
Keep doing what DB says to do and you will find yourself in a much better place. Even if it is without your W.
Me: 42 W: 32 Married 7 years together 8.5 S1: 7 S2:7 Bomb #1: 09-16-13 Recon #1: 11/13 A discovered 04-03-2014 W filed D 05-19-14 but never served me I filed D 12-02-2014 S 05-31-14 Divorced 5-19-16
I understand. But that is why they warn LBS from reading too much into the actions of a WAS. She was being nice, relatively speaking, and you took it to mean more than it was. Then your expectations got crushed, and you got emotional and angry. Now she retreated. Does not mean you are done, it just means you have to work a little harder. She needs to see a person she would want to spend her life with, not be told you are that person. So think about what kind of guy she would want to be with and be that person.
Me: 42 W: 32 Married 7 years together 8.5 S1: 7 S2:7 Bomb #1: 09-16-13 Recon #1: 11/13 A discovered 04-03-2014 W filed D 05-19-14 but never served me I filed D 12-02-2014 S 05-31-14 Divorced 5-19-16
