Honestly EM you are a fantastic writer . Your last 3 posts were very good and you deserve to add motivational writer to your list of accomplishments . I reasonate with everything you write . Thanks soo much for your feedback on my sitch , but i think that anyone who reads this post will get alot of good from it .
You being a marathon runner is defintely helping you in many ways , health is at an optimum , your dont give up attitude and your overall out look on life . Your husband is a lucky man and I know he knows it but he defintely has some issues ( likely mental ) to deal with as does my wife .
Me 45 W 45 Son 16 Son 14 Married 23 together 27 W threatened sep several times W still at home A discovered Mar 17 2014 A ended DEC 2 ( skeptical )
I seen a quote on here somewhere from Churchill and he said "when your going through hell, keep going " I love that quote . theres a few different ways to look at what it means . What is your perception of it ?
Me 45 W 45 Son 16 Son 14 Married 23 together 27 W threatened sep several times W still at home A discovered Mar 17 2014 A ended DEC 2 ( skeptical )
Yes--it's definitely a great quote! I guess i read it as, "When the going gets tough, the tough get going." Don't STOP in hell (why would you?) - break through to where things are no longer hellish.
The quote that I keep going to is a Robert Frost quote. "The best way out is always through."
Motivational writer! That's nice! This is a good place for me to write. It's mostly journaling for me, and I think that I may be convincing myself as much as I'm convincing you and others! Fake it until you make it....there is a lot to be said for THAT quote, too!
" Fake it till you make it" lolololo ive heard that many times and it too makes alot of sense in our sitches . I wonder who said that quote ??? Dare we guess Haha . " The best way out is always through " I love that one too . Funny how a few kind words of wisdom and support can get you into a better place so quickly . Thx again Em
Me 45 W 45 Son 16 Son 14 Married 23 together 27 W threatened sep several times W still at home A discovered Mar 17 2014 A ended DEC 2 ( skeptical )
Things here are changing. Not necessarily better or worse, just different...
Need to practice my 180s a little bit more. I realized last night that I resorted to some old behaviors. What's tricky is that I'm trying to figure out how to handle certain issues without having relationship talk! (For instance, I went to bed last night without telling him that I was going to bed. He told me he was going to stay up working on something, and I said ok...and went to bed. Old behavior that I know he doesn't like. Simple fix: Tell him I'm going to bed. Doesn't feel like detaching. Puzzling that one through!)
We are going through another round of silence around here. Interesting. H gets very, very quiet when he returns from trips having seen OW. Also very, very sleepless. Not mind reading, just noting.
Otherwise, he hovers near family and seems engaged-ish. (Either on his tablet, or playing interactive games with S and me.)
Note to all: I've spent the afternoon going through drawers looking for last year's school photo of S. I haven't come up with it, but I did come up with some things that made me feel a little sad since there were lots of walks down memory lane. One of the things that I found was a list of 40 things that H loves about me for my 40th birthday 3 years ago. Oddly, some of the things make me wonder if our 40th birthdays (which happened around the same time) wasn't the beginning of his slide into MLC. Many of the things that he loved about me were critiques of himself. Like, "You don't mind that I'm losing all the hair on my head."
I didn't. I never have. But to point it out in a birthday card? There were a BUNCH of those. I dunno. Just struck me.
Lastly - in my IC appointment today we talked about how I have intimacy issues...I don't want people to get too close to me because I'm afraid of rejection. Here's what I realized: THIS IS TOTALLY TRUE. So, I have to go through the worst rejection of all kind to figure that out?? WHAT? That seems totally unfair.
Okay. Soldier on. I've got some work to do on myself!
Yes, my H turned 40 a few weeks ago and all the love letters he sent me after BD when I thought we were piecing touched on his hair loss. He has an uncle that's bald and a couple of high school friends who started going bald in their early twenties and he was quite bold and a little obnoxious about saying they should all just shave their heads.
Then when he realized he was thinning at the crown about three years ago he freaked out. Said "I guess I'd look funny bald, huh?" He looked like he'd burst into tears when he said it.
I like to think I said that it was too soon to start thinking like that and that I would always think he was handsome. But honestly, I can't remember what I said. What I wish I'd said is true. But either way, he's sporting the comb-over these days and not any happier about it than if he'd just embraced the bald.
So... if you can weather THIS rejection, MLP, then you should be cured for life, right??
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
Cured for life! What in the world will I worry about then?
Seriously - she suggested it a few weeks ago, and I rejected it out of hand. But today she made the tumblers fall into place.
Holy cats, batman.
So - that's interesting.
H has been losing his hair (on his head) for a LONG time. And it's NEVER bothered me. He's handsome...it's his eyes and his smile and his mouth.....
And he's been gaining hair on his chest and his back. Again - never bothered me. He'd fret about it all the time when we would go to the beach (News alert: First time we went to the Caribbean was when we first turned 40), and I'd try and try and try to reassure him that it was no big deal. But to him it was a SUPER big deal. The more I tried to assure him it wasn't, the more he'd insist that it was.
Hello!
What are the rules for starting a new thread? I'm going to have to do that soon! I wonder if I should call it, "MLP's journey...How to gain security with intimacy while distancing from WAH." LMAO. Doing things the hard way...That's how I roll.
To start a new thread, you just go to the index and click new topic. It's courteous and helpful to paste the link to the old thread at the top of the new thread. Labug very helpfully posted the link to the next thread at the bottom of her old threads but mine locked before it occurred to me to do that.
Some people paste links to all their threads at the top of the new thread but I just number mine.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
