There you go again with that stupid, silly stinkin' thinkin'!! You've got to find a way to stop this for it is causing you to spin.
And I've noticed that you've set the bar quite high for H and you end up disappointed when H doesn't do certain things such as acknowledging the card. Hey...be real gentle with H. He's doing great and is warm toward YOU.
I think Operation Z Bread was a success! It's a notch on your DBing efforts!
Remember....baby steps?!
P.S. I hope you did respond to H's text such as "Glad you enjoyed it! Hey...don't blame ya for wanting it all to yourself! LOL"
Found this great gem from Sandi today over in Meghan's thread (bold is mine for emphasis to you, MDU):
Originally Posted By: Sandi2
I found it helped to make references back to when we were dating. I could draw from those feelings and share with him I liked this or that about him, or talk about a funny time between us. It helped me to break my own ice, I guess. I always felt so fake when trying to express admiration. But he needed it, so I had to work at consciously looking for something good to say. At least, thank him for doing things for me and the family.
Appreciation and admiration are said to be the top needs for men (not counting sex). And when they suffer from a lack of it from the W, another woman can bat her eyes and butter him up for the A. Let's face it, as females we usually know how to make a man feel like we see him being god's gift to the world........when we are trying to catch him. We build his ego and he thinks we are great! Some of us may not find the words so easily, but he can see it in how we look at him. The eyes tell the story.
Sadly, after marriage, many women stop doing what they did in order to get him. But I believe if women will become more like the girl he fell in love with, he will respond positively. May take time, though........and consistency.
Starsky, could you please come around to Tarheel's thread over in Newcomers and join my tag team along with others (Train, Bond, Sandi) as I sense he is standing on the precipice in regard to making a firm decision?
Thx Wonka & Starsky. Can't tell you enough how much I appreciate this feedback. Obviously I really need it. My thoughts seem completely rational and justified to me, I think it's vital that I continue to have you all set me straight otherwise I will completely blow this.
M: 42 H: 43 M: 8 years S7 and D4 H has D19 and S25 from previous M Bomb: 3/6/14 OW discovered, EA & PA 1st separation, 10 days, decided to reconcile & moved back in. Fail 2nd separation: 5/1/14
P.S. I did respond kindly and said 'Next time I'll have to give you 2 loaves so you can give one to your Dad & Step-Mom. Just picked 2 more zucchini from the garden'
M: 42 H: 43 M: 8 years S7 and D4 H has D19 and S25 from previous M Bomb: 3/6/14 OW discovered, EA & PA 1st separation, 10 days, decided to reconcile & moved back in. Fail 2nd separation: 5/1/14
Feeling so badly. Really struggling to get out of this horrible rut. I still can't believe how much things have turned with H and I. He used to text 'good morning' to me nearly every morning, not anymore. He used to send me pictures of the kids when he had them, not anymore. We were obviously talking and spending time together, not anymore.
He is pleasant the few occasions I have seen and spoken to him but obviously things have changed. It is so heartbreaking. I didn't want to get out of bed this morning, my house is a wreck, I don't want to go to work. I feel like I'm sitting around waiting for the next bomb to drop. I know I need to just go on with my life and let it be but I am really struggling to stop thinking about him and what's happening.
M: 42 H: 43 M: 8 years S7 and D4 H has D19 and S25 from previous M Bomb: 3/6/14 OW discovered, EA & PA 1st separation, 10 days, decided to reconcile & moved back in. Fail 2nd separation: 5/1/14
I know I started feeling better after huge dips in my mental well-being. They were like developmental steps necessary to get to my next level of detachment. But I spent months reminding myself that one way or another it would eventually end, and no matter how it ended I would be fine. I had to learn to let go of the outcome and see myself as sufficient. It has not been a linear process.
Get up, Mama. You can do this. You are a strong attractive woman and you can do it. You've got a big cheering section behind you and you can do it. Hugs to you!!
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
That's pretty much what I'm doing Ggrass. Things have just changed. It's depressing.
M: 42 H: 43 M: 8 years S7 and D4 H has D19 and S25 from previous M Bomb: 3/6/14 OW discovered, EA & PA 1st separation, 10 days, decided to reconcile & moved back in. Fail 2nd separation: 5/1/14
It's a notch on your DBing efforts!