good job pilot.....baby steps, you left her yearning for that kiss. I say next time a kiss opportunity arrises you take it, you don't want to give her the impression that you just want to be friends. give her a nice peck and continue your strategy. Im taking notes for the day im in your shoes, hopefully soon.
Me: 42 W: 39 D: 2 age 6 and 9 D-Day: Dec 29 13 Seperated: 3/20/14 Mediation retainer : 5/20/14 She filed: 06/25/14
Wow. Way to go pilot. I second oad in being jealous of you and in the give her a little kiss to show non friendship intention. But do what your gut is telling you and as for detaching....there is no rule that says you can't walk alongside the freshly mowed grass by the paved road when you need to....but then there's that darn tollbooth. Praying wisdom for you and behind you all the way man
Me 42 W:35 M: 14yrs T:15yrs D: 8yrs D:6yrs S:3yrs BD: "I want a D"09/03/14 Sep: 30/06/14
Don't give up when you still have something to give. Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.
Im taking notes for the day im in your shoes, hopefully soon.
Dont take notes from me. I do not have a clue what I am doing. But thanks for the encouragement oad and rayzz.
She just left. She texted me in the morning, and we went and had breakfast together...kids were with my dad. Then we came back here and got the kids ready for the beach, and W kids and I went to the beach for a few hours so they could all play. Conversation again was friendly but benign. We left the beach and went to a marina restaurant and had a nice lunch. Came back here and gave the kids a bath, I got a bath, then she did. Interesting because there was none of the modesty that set in during the heat of the A and emotional crap I was pitching a few months ago.
As we were loading her car, she cornered me in the in the garage (away from the kids and my dad) and wanted another long hug. She told me thank you for the dinner, lunch, beach, and all the other stuff. I made a joke about something, and she laughed. We then loaded the kids in the car, and again, she hugged me, and kept squeezing tight over and over. My dad came out and that ended the hug. Haha. He wanted to say bye to the kids too.
She left, called me after about 30 minutes to ask about a turn she could make and if it would save time. Then sent me a text 45 minutes later about the kids falling asleep.
I am supposed to go to her town in about 10 days or so to get the kids, and look at schools up there. She did stay at her friends place, so I dunno if I am supposed to get a hotel (I dont have any friends there). I am sure she will offer for me to stay at her parents, as her parents still love me tons. I think I would rather have a hotel room than sleep on the couch at her parents. Of course, there is an ex gf I have who lives about an hour away....hahahah
Me: 42 W: 32 Married 7 years together 8.5 S1: 7 S2:7 Bomb #1: 09-16-13 Recon #1: 11/13 A discovered 04-03-2014 W filed D 05-19-14 but never served me I filed D 12-02-2014 S 05-31-14 Divorced 5-19-16
How do you 'properly' limit progress until OM/A is covered? As I stated before, I really do not think W is ready to work on M. We have had a lot of progress from where we were a couple of months ago, but for all I know, it is just towards a friendship and nothing more. If that is the case, then I do not want a friendship while she is still in contact with OM. But the catch 22 is I cannot ask about OM. If her intent is to maybe rebuild our M, it would seem she is trying to ignore the 800 lb gorilla in the room which is OM. That also, cannot happen. But, I cannot ask about OM.
So how do you get past this? Wait until she brings it up? What if it is never brought up by her? It would stand to reason she would NOT want to discuss OM regardless of what her intentions were. How does the subject get broached when you are uncertain if her intentions are just a friendship or possible R?
Suggestions? Thoughts? Winning lotto numbers?
Me: 42 W: 32 Married 7 years together 8.5 S1: 7 S2:7 Bomb #1: 09-16-13 Recon #1: 11/13 A discovered 04-03-2014 W filed D 05-19-14 but never served me I filed D 12-02-2014 S 05-31-14 Divorced 5-19-16
Pilot, I share that same question. Not all WAS are going to come back to the LBS saying 'I'll do whatever it takes.' Those are the 'lucky' ones. I imagine some come back with the mind set of 'Let's be friendly and see if there's a future for us.' In this case, I would see no reason for WAS to want to remove OP from their life (just yet) or even address their status. I guess it would be up to each LBS to decide if that's something they're willing to accept or not??
I'll have to read your whole thread to better advise, but can you update me on what your w has SAID she wants from you, if anything,
or are there a lot of positive interactions, without specific comments made?
I do see more value in the actual interactions than comments made, meaning actions speak louder than words.
I'll try to find your whole thread, but see if you can give the answer to the above question.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
I would ask her....I would say that things are good for you right now and that you are doing very well, but you refuse to continue down this path as long as the O/M is in the picture...set your boundary.
Me: 42 W: 39 D: 2 age 6 and 9 D-Day: Dec 29 13 Seperated: 3/20/14 Mediation retainer : 5/20/14 She filed: 06/25/14
