Wow. I must be writing too much because my last thread is locked already.
"If I only had a brain..." ------------- I would figure out how to post the old ones here!
"22 Years: He's Filed, Need Advice on Boundaries" (1 & 2)
"Speak Softly and Carry a Big Stick"
"Speak Softly" The MLC Version
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----GGG
(GoatGal, GumbyGoatGal)
Now known as "Triple G" because I am a "Triple Threat!"
Or maybe "Triple G, PhD" ???? Kinda catchy! Specializing in the bizarre behavior of the male MLC amoeba.
(I thought of "Dr. G" but she's a forensic pathologist on TV. So that's taken. )
Me 54 Him 63 M 23 T 29 0 Kids Funny Farm of Rescues 12/12 OW-- 5/13 ILYBINILWY: A denied 9/13 Proof OW: ENDED 2/14 Got D papers on my BD I kicked him out for my sanity 9/14 He wants to "talk"?
Hey GGG - just posted a reply to you but have no idea where it goes to, as in what thread, but assume it gets to you somehow!!!!!!
You are an inspiration..........
MLC is where its at now - I am going to stay here for a while. We have an expression here 'GUBU' used originally in relation to rather strange political situation, stands for 'Gross, Unique, Bizarre, Unprecented' - MLC behaviour is truely 'GUBU' in my H's case and I expect in yours too............
Yes. GUBU is perfect. In fact, it might be a great name for my little "pet".
Someone nicknamed their H "Pinhead" (PH), so now mine will be "GUBU the Amoeba" when I'm feeling particularly prickly.
How goes it in sonas-land?
---GGG
Me 54 Him 63 M 23 T 29 0 Kids Funny Farm of Rescues 12/12 OW-- 5/13 ILYBINILWY: A denied 9/13 Proof OW: ENDED 2/14 Got D papers on my BD I kicked him out for my sanity 9/14 He wants to "talk"?
Just had to post after reading about your h's antics. My h always tweets about what a great boyfriend he is and I always think...."how great of a boyfriend can you be with a wife?":)
Stay dark and avoid the insanity.
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
Saw this great snippet from a spiritual site and thought of you (and all LBS of MLCers too!).
There is a profound difference between pity and compassion and your obligation extends to compassion, which requires detachment and acceptance, but not the energy of pity, which happens when you feel responsibility for others’ path, you believe that you have an obligation to ensure their happiness, or you feel responsible for creating outcomes you believe they cannot create for themselves.
I am one of those people who finds it difficult to turn my back on anyone in need.
However--I have only ever done that at the expense of myself when my mother went into a serious depression and was suicidal. I did everything I could to keep her safe, get her treatment, and drag her to appointments myself. I am glad I did it.
She's had many great years and at 87, she's still kicking ass and taking names. She would have been dead.
Also, she was in no frame of mind to make decisions for herself. She was out of her mind... it was bad.
It was very hard on me, but I wouldn't change a thing.
So I think you have to help people who need your help, but it's important to know where to draw the line.
Now with my sitch with GUBU the Amoeba, my mother knows I can't be there for her on the level that I have been. I felt guilty about that at first, but I don't any longer.
I have two siblings who could step up, but they have chosen not to.
That's on them.
But as for GUBU, I don't feel responsible for him.
He's making some terrible mistakes and is his judgement is impaired. He will have to live with those mistakes. My job is only to limit the damage TO ME and my "kids". Period.
I never thought I caused this, although some have suggested that I must own 50% of his cheating/MLC situation.
I have to disagree. I have my own stuff, sure. But he made his choices. Those are 100% on him.
All I can do is influence GUBU with positive reinforcement and the occasional Truth Dart.
Meanwhile, it's busy in this laboratory... his experiment is just one of many.
(I've heard Amoebas will die if they dry out. Do you think this is true? )
---GGG
Me 54 Him 63 M 23 T 29 0 Kids Funny Farm of Rescues 12/12 OW-- 5/13 ILYBINILWY: A denied 9/13 Proof OW: ENDED 2/14 Got D papers on my BD I kicked him out for my sanity 9/14 He wants to "talk"?
I never thought I caused this, although some have suggested that I must own 50% of his cheating/MLC situation.
GGG, Not a damm thing you coulda done. You coulda been the vision of perfection in practically every way and he still woulda gone off the deep end of the pool without a floatie.
Personally, I think an affair is a form of emotional abuse and misguided anger/control sent from one spouse to the other.
There are always things both people can do better in a marriage, but NOTHING that causes someone to dive into an MLC. The crisis would happen in a marriage or out. Some single people experience MLC. The beginnings of his MLC started when he was a child or teen...long before you walked down the aisle. Period.
Someday there will be a test. MLC-ers will pee on a stick and if it turns blue, they will be sent to live in Flint, Michigan...the armpit of the world.
Don't blame yourself.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
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