See how I still get wrapped up in the crazy??? UGH! I think I make progress and now I feel like I have had this huge setback.
I know J will not let S do anything stupid in his car. But I am the mom and I worry too much. That's my job. And I hope this is good for S. I want him to be a good driver and SAFE!!!!! I will let this go, of course. But I will still worry deep down.
And I see your point about S talking to me. I clarified things for him this morning. I told him if he needed to talk to me about things it was okay, but that the things he tells me upset me especially since I can't do anything about them. I said you can talk to me, but you need to talk to your father, too. He said okay.
I called J this morning because some things were missing from D's backpack like her water bottle, her sunscreen and her sandwich container from her lunchbox. J talked to S about it (because apparently J wasn't sure where these things were) and then talked to me and said he would have OW drop these things off. Oh, that makes me feel better. Not. If the kids don't have these things when I pick them up, then I will have S go to the house and get them J and OW be dammed. But I guess J has found himself the in-house babysitter/secretary/maid he always wanted. I see it happening. J working more, gone more, and OW left to take care of the mess left behind. Right now she is more than willing to do it. I wonder how long that will last?
It's hard enough being a parent for a 13 year old boy, a 7 year old girl and a 3 year old dog. I don't need to be a parent for a 46 year old man.
WH
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
It's none of my business, but I wouldn't want that OW coming to where I live. I would drive your son over and have him pick the things up, once that OW has found them. Your home is your safe and special place that hasn't been ruined by their drama and you want to keep it that way. Next thing you know, your h and the ow will be stopping by all of the time w/excuses for this and that.
Seriously, I think those two deserve each other and as long as she's willing to play his admirer, he'll continue to be happy w/her being there.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
No, I meant OW would drop those items off to the kids at summer camp since she is dropping off her kids there as well. I will not let her within one foot of my front door. No way. The only reason I let J in the other night is because he helped with my stove. Otherwise, it's outside for him. He, so far, does call before he comes over and knocks and doesn't just waltz in. But I keep my door locked, just in case.
I think they deserve each other too. They can wallow in their own madness. I just wish they didn't pull the kids into it. Our kids and hers as well. Both sets of kids do not like being there. They are resisting and resentful, while J and OW are trying to force them to like each other. I don't know why those two are forcing the kids. That only makes things worse. I know when I was a kid if I was forced to be around people I didn't like, I became very angry and resentful. I can only imagine the frustration my kids are feeling, and I imagine her kids feel the same.
OW and her kids call J by a pet name. Without saying what my ex's name is, they call him a cutesie name that repeats his first name twice. We will say it is "J-J". S told me about it and I laughed. But it was nothing until I heard OW call him this at D's party. It sounded like she was calling a Pomeranian. I almost peed my pants. LOL. He must be in love with her if he is willing to let her call him that in public. How humiliating.
I will never understand this mess of a life he created. It's not my circus anymore. I wish I could keep the kids out of it.
WH
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
I don't know how I am going to make it through the next 11 years co-parenting with that man.
I told him we needed to set up some sort of child care for the month of august as outdoor camp ends August 1. I suggested D attend indoor camp for the first two weeks in august and I thought for the last two weeks of summer we could each take a week of vacation with the kids. He told me he didn't know if indoor camp was the best option and wanted to explore opportunities. I asked him what he had in mind and he had no idea. Now granted, we live 45 minutes from a major city so there are lots of camps and things to do, but nothing that will cost less than this indoor camp. And if J thinks I am going to be okay with OW babysitting the kids on my time he has another think coming. He didn't suggest it, but I bet it's on his mind.
He also doesn't want to take the dog to the vet for it's shots and says a dog doesn't need to have a yearly exam. He suggested taking him to Petco for his shots. I am hesitant. Anyone have experience with this? J told me OW takes her dog there to avoid the high vet bills. But I don't want to do this just based on her word alone. J refuses to pay any more than he has to on this dog, but yet it was his bright idea to get this dog. He said if we decide to take the dog to the vet HE wants to be the one to take him in, probably so he can say no to everything J feels is extravagant. Yeesh.
I have never ever known someone who is such a spendthrift and such a tightwad at the same time. Unless the money is being spent on him.
WH
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
Trying to work out some minor details about the kids and school fees and the rest of summer camp. I had asked J the other day about signing the kids up for summer camp. He said he wanted to explore our options. I called him out on it again. He mentioned something about having OW watch the kids the rest of the summer. I knew it!!! He said she would be able to take the kids swimming and to the lake, etc. He said he was hesitant to talk to me about it because he thought I would have a problem with it. I said you're right. I do. I don't feel comfortable with that. He asked me why? I said on my days it isn't happening. I said it can happen on your days, but not on mine. I just feel sick right now.
He said if that's how you feel then that is how you feel. I said that's how I feel. He is going to shove this woman down my f'in throat. And my mids' throat.
My sixth sense has been going gangbusters. I feel sick and nauseated.
I really need to calm down.
WH
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
I've taken my pets to the vet at Petsmart and Petco before for shots and it was fine. Granted, one time a vet told me he was terrified of animals which led me to interrogate him as to why he became a vet.. Anyway , I'm sure the dog will do well. Sounds like he's doing better already.
In regards to OW, I'm sorry I don't have much advice. Is your h married to her? I've been reading about your sitch and she sounds like a catch to say the least:-)
Take a deep breath. You will handle this!
Last edited by Georgiabelle; 07/17/1412:31 AM.
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
What a circus! I'm so sorry you're dealing with all this. I think it's good you put your foot down about OW watching the kids for the duration of the summer. I'd have trouble with that, too. I'm amazed at your tenacity and strength.
No they aren't married...yet. We just finalized our divorce about a month ago.
J told S that "your mom is very sensitive about the things OW does with you guys.".You think dumba$$??? I asked S if he wanted OW to watch him every day. He said not really. He said J was taken aback by the fact that I harshly said no. J seems to think he was doing me a favor. Such a self-serving b*stard.
It's my worst fear that J is plotting to get the kids in his clutches more and shove OW down their throat more (and mine as well). And hence plot to get more placement with them and leave me out in the cold. But then again that might be my paranoia talking. Maybe he is just a cheap Self-serving b*stard.
I'm calming down. Little by little. But this guy just doesn't get it. Someone please put him out of my misery.
WH
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
If D is final, how can he get more time with the kids than what the court ordered? It really stinks what he is doing! How they can think the OW belongs in their lives especially when she as acted as this one has is beyond me! From the sound of things I don't think SHE wants your kids around her that much either! Sounds to me like J is getting ahead of himself. Stay strong WH. You will get through this!
J is a weasel. A complete weasel. I don't trust him one iota. He has his own thoughts about things whether they make sense or not. He is a planner and a schemer. I still think he is with OW so he has a babysitter and so her folks can give him money.
And you're right, Matt. She has her own kids for an entire week, doesn't work and yet has to send them to camp? And J thinks she is gonna watch our kids all day? She can't even take care of my dog, let alone my kids.
He is just baffled as to why I can't see the benefit of this. Please!
WH
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
