"Speak Softly" The MLC Version

[GoatGal]

I really am disgusted.

All that crap about "I have gotten so much more romantic as I've gotten older, and I like it!"

I must be talking about his short-lived, sordid, broom closet liaison with OW.

Because he has NEVER been "romantic" and is definitely not loving and affectionate.
I think I'd know..

OK.

So I have another confession to make.

In order to view his profile, I had to create a profile.

(I know, I know... terrible, Catfishing, right?)

I have no intention of doing anything with it, will probably take it down in a few days...

BUT!!!! (What would REBA do???? )

I swear it's like he was home alone and it does string you into signing up, it's not clear how to "search for free" without paying. I figured it out, though.

I was curious--I also wanted to see that who was out there in terms of guys.

I did notice that most of the guys are not so disgusting to put up the things they like sexually like H did:
"adventurous behind closed doors!/Very oral"! GAG ME!!!

Only my H had the class to put that on there of the 20 or so guys I looked at.

Now I really AM going to puke.

Well, he'll figure out that most women 50+ are going to either not be his type, or they'll have baggage of their own, and will figure out pretty quickly that he's not who he says he is.

And I don't think he's going to be all that attracted to them.

But you never know..

Meanwhile, he's got a hot babe who is compatible with all his "interests" right here at home... probably the best thing he'd find on there!

Meanwhile, he'll probably spend more of our money trying to wine and dine these gals...
Maybe that's why he got his teeth bleached.

I couldn't see how long ago he posted this profile. I'm curious about that.
It did say he's been online there in the last 24 hours.

The problem with sites like this for people like H is that they are based in FANTASY.

The REALITY is he is five years older, has a wife, has sexual/relationship issues.. and finding somebody "new" is not going to "fix" it.

We know this. He does not apparently.

And all the lies he told on there. Any decent woman would figure that out pretty quickly..
He should have added: "My wife kicked me out because I'm a jerk, I'm living in a friend's guest room..."

---GGG

[job]

GG,
I can understand your disgust. I went thru something very similar to that w/my xh many years ago. The things he posted on his profile were very similar to what your h has posted. They don't have a moral compass right now and yes, the MLCer tends to over talk themselves when posting and trust me...they aren't mature about it at all. That's why many people can spot a MLCer a mile away. Some men who post are very mature and sincere about their postings and tell the truth...there are some that will stretch the truth until it's ready to snap.

Trust me, if any decent women hit on his profile, after they have a few chats w/him, they'll figure it out. The only ones that will take the bait will be those in for a "joy ride" of using him and having a good time.

What would Reba do? She would have some fun w/it...but I don't advise it because this is not TV land...but real life. I think I would follow along for a bit, just to see what happens...but it may disgust you to no end.

[GoatGal]

Thanks, job.

That's pretty much what I thought too. I can almost imagine him late at night, having a few drinks, and thinking "Well, I CAN DATE TOO!!!!"

I doubt much will come of it, except maybe he'll compare some of these women to me and they'll come up wanting.

Personally, if I clicked on his profile and read all that stuff about what he likes sexually, that would be a HUGE turnoff, unless I were a "pro" or a gold-digger!
I hope nobody gets him spending money we can't afford.


The other thing that got my goat was that he said:
"I am extremely loyal and fiercely protective of my friends and family".
Which "family" would that be?
All he's got is ME and MY FAMILY!
What "friends"???
-----------------------------------------------

I do believe he's lonely, and he might believe I'm totally writing him off.

That doesn't go with "paving the way" back home at all.

I have been very dark, really not connecting with him, pretty much avoiding him for weeks now.

I wonder if I connected more if he'd feel less like he needs to "find someone".
"A serious relationship"??? He's STILL MARRIED!!!!!
---------------------------

Recently I know he saw a card from a friend I had on the windowsill, thanking me for supporting her during a difficult time, and it said :
"We'll be sorry to see you go if you do feel that's what you need to do to be happy, but your new hometown will be lucky indeed!"

I *think* he's convinced I'm a lost cause. I don't want him to think that.

I was hoping maybe he was starting to come around... but I see now he's nowhere close to that.

Maybe it's time to offer a small olive branch?

Thoughts?


I had to go dark for detaching and it did really help.

And I know I'm doing better because although that dating profile upset me, I was just able to go out and see him and be upbeat.
Do I keep doing as I'm doing or do I reach out a bit?

----GGG

[GoatGal]

Oh yeah, and he also described himself as " a good bad boy" (which is what I used to call him.)

And that he "seems much younger than my years, and people say I look and act much younger, I am playful and love to laugh."

He does seem younger than his ACTUAL AGE. But not younger than his FAKE AGE.

And playful and love to laugh? He's afraid to look silly. Laughter? I've rarely heard it.

Pretty funny..
But yes, nauseating.


I feel sorry for the man. He just gave me another reason to dislike him.


--GGG

[Wonka]

GGG,

Do you know when H put up that profile? If it was recent, I wouldn't reach out for it would appear too suspcious. If it was a while ago, I'd test the waters to get a feel for H's mindset in regard to you as his wife. You need to remember that he is firmly on planet MLC.

Zero expectations.

[GoatGal]

Thanks, Wonka,

It was within the last 30 days, I think within the last few weeks. It is "pending" on our credit card as a charge.

But it's been more than a few days, otherwise it would say "new member".
I'm not reaching out.

It will only show that I looked at it---well, not ME, but some woman....

---GGG


PS: He also does stuff like this when he is "mad" at me. I know he was mad a few weeks ago about the bikes, about me being late on July 4th. I'm guessing it was around that time, a time when I think he really suspected I was "seeing someone" although I have said many times that I will not date anyone prior to divorce.
Of course this ^^^ IS total mind-reading.

[job]

GG,
Right now, he's looking for someone opposite of you. He doesn't want the same qualities in the ow as you have. You have to remember that he is the mirror image of the old self and that means just about everything will be the opposite of what he would like being the old self.

Please don't reach out right now. He's on his journey of experimentation. He has to find things out for himself and he does know where you are and how you feel about him.

I can still remember my father and mother telling me that my xh told them that I loved my cat more than him. They say all sorts of things and can become jealous of pets and children because they take "mom's" attention away from the "son or daughter" (mlcer).

Yes, they do have a way of reminding us that they are angry w/us. Some of their little bursts of anger come out in passive ways and then we discover later what they did to "punish" us.

They are two year olds teething on a teething ring in many ways.

[LoisB]

some woman

YOU ARE SOME WOMAN G! Just like Wilbur in Charlotte's Web "Some Pig."

We all need a friend like Charlotte to scribe positive messages in webs for us.

In the movies, you could be an interested woman and either make him look the fool like Reba or win his love...Gag.

I guess we can imagine some gratifying ending...but, probably not the best idea to actually act it out.

I have an eHarmony account and Job's right. You can pick out the MLC-ers easily. They usually are sitting on a Harley, wearing college-age clothing, looking for fun and there's just something about them that's creepy and Not Quite Right. You can just sense it.

I'm sure his thoughts on oral sex will bring in the babes. Ewww.

You're better off with Poe. :-)

[GoatGal]

One thing to be grateful for: He didn't post a picture of himself.
(Probably because any picture from the last five years shows him scowling.)


And---he didn't post a picture of his private parts!!!!

His "Looking for in a partner" description was gross enough.

But as job said, he's describing himself as he "thinks" he was with his OW. He probably thinks he WAS romantic, and that he wants a needy person to take care of (i.e.: who will tolerate whatever he dishes out.)

Oh yeah, and he actually described himself as a "caretaking type". Can you say "co-dependent"??????

If it's not a subordinate co-worker, there is nothing to make him look like anything but an aging creeper. He doesn't have the benefit of being "The Boss". Now he's just a lonely guy looking for a date. Yikes.


----GGG

PS: Don't you guys worry. I'm not going to do anything stupid!

[Wonka]

The only things missing from the profile are a white horse, a plume feathered cap, and a title called Lord Farquaad.

giggling off stage