LiveNow, I don’t know why I’m keeping hanging in there. Sometimes I’m so disappointed at myself that I cannot just let go like others in my situation. I think I just need more time. I also feel like I’ve been just existing and not living. Even though it doesn’t look like it from outside. Only a couple of my GFs and my sister in the outside world know the truth. And even then, they don’t know as much as I post here.
I do feel like I’m just wasting my time, getting older. And I’m looking around and telling myself that there will be a chance for me to find somebody to connect with. I just don’t see anything that would interest me. I think I’m not ready for a new R yet.
He actually didn’t spew anything bad, in general. It is just the things he said were so hurtful. Like he said that he is starting a new phase of his life. There was “phase before me, then there was a phase with me, and now he will have a phase after me”. It’s like I’m just a piece of furniture that needs replacing.
My gut tells me that he is not in a happy place, maybe regretting the whole thing. But, I also know that he is a very stubborn man and prides himself for making the decisions and sticking to them.
I did have a lot better day today, thanks. I think going back to the office was really good for me.
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
I totally understand. Maybe there is something in the air, because the description of how you are feeling recently fits my feelings very well. It stinks, and I'm sorry you are feeling this and going through this rough time. I don't really have many words of encouragement... just sometimes it may help to know others understand and are going through the same thing. I will be thinking of you and sending positive vibes to you whenever I feel them. Take care.
Bright - you'll know when you've had enough. Until that time, be good to yourself, and talk to people. You will find understanding everywhere around you...
Me 53, XH 57 M 20 (+1.5) years, no kids BD June '13 H moved out July '13 Confirmed long-suspected PA Feb '14 H filed for D Nov. '14 D March '15
Ggrass, Mighty, LiveNow, thank you for your kind words. It means a lot to me. I feel much better when I have somebody to talk to. I don’t talk much about my sitch with my friends and family anymore. When my thread goes without comments for some time I start feeling alone. I know there is not much going on in my thread. It is not that exciting or dramatic as others. I’m also not a good writer. So, when people leave even a small comment, I get excited and it keeps me going, moving on.
Mighty, thank you for sending me positive vibes. I think it is working .
LiveNow, the only place where people still understand me is here, on this board. Everyone else around me (including my GF who did go through this and it took her a loooong time to finally end it) are asking me why I haven’t filed for D yet. They look at me like I am some kind of loony or just a week person. This is one of the reasons I stopped socializing with people who made friends with in the past 2 years. Every time I meet with them they ask me if I’m D’d already. Well, some of them are the guys who want to be closer friends with me .
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
No, no! Not lonely or weak! You aren't that at all! A broken heart does not mean we need to do things that *society* expects us to do. If you feel like that talking with your friends, then don't talk with them. Keep coming here and, if possible, find someone else to confide in. I know, it gets really difficult and it is soooooo important to find someone who understands. That can be hard. Keep posting here. I've had a better couple of days, and I'm thinking of you! I will continue to send it your way!!!! Keep your head up, Bright! And remember those words: Bright future. There will be one.... to be continued.......
Bright - I know what you mean about cutting back on talking to people. After 1 year, I'm kind of in the same boat. But I find that if I tell them some of the stuff I've learned here, they are more understanding. And, your real friends are those who say something like 'I support you no matter what you decide.' Not everyone will convey that message to you, but stick with those who do. And someday maybe you can help them by listening. That is a huge positive to come out of this for me - I think I have learned to be a better friend from those who have been there for me this whole time. Keep posting. You are not alone.
Me 53, XH 57 M 20 (+1.5) years, no kids BD June '13 H moved out July '13 Confirmed long-suspected PA Feb '14 H filed for D Nov. '14 D March '15
Besides, You're not getting older, you're getting better!
Yes, this is about dating, or actually not dating. Everybody tells me that I would have no problem finding somebody to date. As a matter of fact in the last two years there were quite a few guys who wanted to date me. When I meet new single guys and talk with them, they immediately want to get to know me better. And I always tell them that I’m not ready for dating, but I we can be friends. Well, it usually doesn’t work, because they are always trying to be more than friends. So, I back off.
I’m pretty content by myself. I feel very comfortable in this world. I am not afraid of challenges of everyday life. I can take care of myself. It is just that I want to share my life with somebody special. And I feel that my chances to meet that somebody special are getting smaller and smaller as I get older.
Yes, Mighty, I’m thinking about bright future for me. This is exactly why choose this user name.
LiveNow, I’ve tried to tell people about stuff I leant here, but they dismiss it like something I’m using to distract myself from reality. I has a conversation with a young woman who was trying to be a life coach, and she told me this “Your H told you very clearly that he doesn’t want to be with you, but you didn’t get the message”. Meaning that I still had hope (it was about a year ago.)
Small update. Received a forwarded e-mail from H. I ordered a new phone through the phone company and they sent the shipment notification e-mail to H’s e-mail. This phone account used to be a joint account. He changed to a different phone company last year. The account was created for our business and apparently had his name and e-mail attached. I tried to change it a couple of times (called and went to the local store), but something was not updated properly. So, he received this e-mail 2 days ago when the phone shipped. Today he just forwarded it to me without a word.
I guess he really doesn’t want to be in contact with me anymore. I was reading GGG’s updated today where she said that her H followed her behavior. When she distanced herself, so did he. I wonder if this is what happened in my case too. I silently forwarded him his mail. And now he silently forwards me the e-mails. I never got a thank you for sending him his mail (that includes Playboy magazine BTW), so should I also stay silent and not mention the e-mail? I just don’t know anymore.
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
Bright, I would take a few minutes and compose an email, i.e., thanking him for forwarding the phone email on to you. It's just a courtesy, but it also will open the door of communication just a wee bit.
Sometimes we tend to "over" think things and it creates more stinking thinking. Just be yourself. I know you would have sent an email to a friend, acknowledging the receipt of the forwarded email notification. I would do the same w/your h in this situation.
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