The morning sun is shining like a red rubber ball.

[wishing, hoping]

Thanks, AJ, but I'm not duking anything out, unless she does something horrible to my kids and even then I will probably address it with J, not OW. She is nothing to me.

I only talk to J about the kids. But he usually uses that opportunity to raise issues about other things. Frankly, I think J just likes to hear himself talk. It makes him feel important. I don't know if he even cares if a resolution is made or not. He uses whatever excuse he can to talk to me about anything. I think honestly part of him is trying to aggravate OW and then blame it on me. He's good at that. Shifting the blame part, I mean. That doesn't mean I will hold onto that blame. Heck no. She wanted crazy, she got crazy. She's going to a wedding tomorrow with J and the kids. I am sure that will be a huge dog and pony show. Not many people there like OW either. Oh, they will be nice and courteous to her face and then talk madly behind her back.

Oh yes, I am glad to not be a part of that crazy anymore. No matter how you dress up that pig's ear, it ain't even relatively close to a silk purse.

WH

[LoisB]

These two DO bring new meaning to the phrase, "What Fresh Hell is this?"

[beatrice]

We might be fake pearls, but they are real swine!!

[wishing, hoping]

LOL! Bea.

I wonder if J calls OW "my little pork chop"?

Come to think of it, she does somewhat resemble Miss Piggy. But Miss Piggy has better fashion sense and doesn't wear buddy holly glasses.

WH

[beatrice]

If you are young, very chic and elfin like, then Buddy Holly glasses can look good. Otherwise I would tend to avoid them as a fashion statement.

Miss Piggy without the charm and fashion sense sounds like an unbeatable combo

[wishing, hoping]

OW is not young, chic or elfin in any way, shape or form.

Yes, Miss Piggy has more charm and grace in her little pinky than OW could ever imagine having or has probably even witnessed.

WH

[wishing, hoping]

S just texted me and told me OW is bringing her kids to this family wedding. That will be one motley crew. S is beside himself. Now he has to endure them for a 2-1/2 hour car ride and in a cramped hotel room. Plus I don't think J rsvp'd for 6 people, probably only for 4. Rive Gauche.

I wish I could scoop my kids out of that craziness. I know there have been crazier things but they are so unhappy. I hate that.

J did mention to me during our "discussion" Thursday that OW' ex was a real jerk. He did say something about her ex refusing to switch weekends so she could go to the wedding. Anyone with half a brain in her head would have said I just won't go and I will stay home with my kids. Not OW. We will just bring them along because everyone will be so excited to see my kids. And who cares if we rsvp'ed for four. Two more won't hurt. Such selfish behavior.

And it doesn't affect me at all. It bothers my son, which really bothers me. I told him to discuss how he feels with his dad. I don't know if he will or not. I just wish I could do more.

WH

[LoisB]

I wish someone, other than you, could help your S understand he DOES have a choice. He could opt out of going. He is a teen and he doesn't have to participate if he feels it's too much. I understand he probably wants to be there for his sister.

Also, he sounds like a smart kid...otherwise he wouldn't see things so clearly. Maybe tell him to view this as an experiment of sorts...Follow GoatGal's lead. Suggest he look at this as a social experiment where he is observing a bunch of baboons in their native habitat. Maybe he could get some distance and objectivity that way? IDK...Just thinking out loud.

I guess I'm thinking about kids I've worked with from bad situations. Acknowledging the insanity, but giving them a frame of reference sometimes helps. Yes, this is insane, and, YES, you will be ok and, yes, it's ok to step back and observe without becoming invested in the drama. I know it's a ridiculous expectation to put on a teenager's head, but it's not a bad life skill to develop. If life hands you lemons??

[wishing, hoping]

I suggested to S as he gets older that he could opt out of going. By I don't know if J will let him. J wants to show off what a great dad he is. He also doesn't want me to have more overnights because he is afraid I will go after more placement. I can't for two years because I am locked in. But when I asked the GAL when S can decide for himself who he stays with the GAL said he had no choice until he was 18. I can't believe that would be true.

I feel helpless. And that stinks.

WH

[LoisB]

That's not true. Not true.

If S made a stink, he could opt out. But, he may have to make a stink...and, is that worth it? IDK.

You're not helpless Wishing. I know it feels that way. S isn't helpless either. There are solutions here.

I think you may feel better if you explore what your options are...in the worst case scenario. If S cannot continue to endure this. He is smart and that's almost a pity because...I was smart...and I know...when you see the insanity, it makes it that much harder to ignore it. Ignorance is bliss.

On the other hand, being smart means you can develop coping skills...with guidance.

IDK. I hurt for you and for him.