Wifes severe depression, MLC, and suicide attempt

[ForeverYoung]

I'd acknowledge it in a friendly manner. A simple text would be fine. That's not pursuing.

[Lifes Twists]

Thanks Forever,

I took your advice and just sent a simple happy Bday and nothing more. Pleasantly surprised she sent a simple thankyou. More than I have heard in a long time.

[Lifes Twists]

I was at the doctors yesterday for more tests. The tests still don't give an indication as to what is going on with my lungs. Today i do another CAT scan to see if there are any changes. Monday I meet with the doctor again and then schedule more tests and a biopsy. Both mean stays in the hospital. The stay for the biopsy will be about 4 days.

I sent a text to my wife to see if she was comfortable having a phone conversation to discuss the situation and the girls. Surprisingly enough she agrees to talk. This would be our first conversation since before she attempted suicide in April. I called her and we talked about what was going on. She seemed to think I was accusing her of not being there for the girls. I explained that I only wanted to make sure she was ok with having the girls for a longer period or I would make other arrangements. She wanted to make sure that I agreed that we would discuss this with our immediate family without grandparents or siblings involved. I explained that was the reason that I had called her first. I did not allow the conversation to stray off the subject. I was the one who finished the conversation by saying goodbye.

I will say that she did sound clearer than she has in a long time. I am not trying to read anything into it. I will have to see how future conversations go as I get the dates and plan for these procedures.

I am wondering if the breakdown and suicide attempt was her hitting rock bottom. I hope it was so she has only one direction to go. I know that for both attempted suicide and MLC that being ashamed of what you did is one reaction that a person has. I don't know if she blames me for her attempt or if it was being ashamed that is the cause of her silence for these past few months. I don't expect to ever know.

My time with my girls is as great as it can be. Having three teen girls is a handful for a single parent. This coming week I am taking the two younger ones as well as a boyfriend and a friend for the youngest camping in the white mountains. I have never done this alone before without my wife to help. Should be quite an experience.

[Lifes Twists]

What i still can never understand is how the MLCer checks out so far that they won't participate when it comes to the welfare of their children. My oldest daughter has been drawn into this whole trend of smoking HOOKAH. Yesterday a big HOOKAH pipe showed up in the bathroom being cleaned. I emailed my wife about this and suggested she should look into the dangers of smoking HOOKAH. I asked her if we could meet to come up with a joint position on this and together talk to our daughter. I get no reply. I got no reply earlier in the month when I asked for her share of the property tax bill for her car. I would think that she would at least want to help our daughter. I guess it is part of the roller coaster ride we are on.

[Lifes Twists]

Yesterday I got an email from my wife. It is the first email she has initiated since before the suicide attempt. She started it off with, "I have processed your going into the hospital..." This was two and a half days to process this piece of information. This is at least the second time she has used the word process. I think my wife is having issues with being able to work on or deal with more than one thing at a time. I am now seeing that if I put more than one thing in an email, that she may not get beyond the first item. this may explain why she does not deal with things concerning our girls that I have email her as I probably put in more than one issue at a time.

Has anyone else encountered this?

On another note, I am seeing my girls as moving in more and more for the long stay. They continue to move stuff back from my wifes apartment. The Wii and Xbox both showed up the other day. yesterday they asked if they could take over a room in the addition that was going to be my wifes crafting room. They explained they wanted to use it to hang out in rather than their bedrooms when friends over. They are also starting to sort through things in the house and throwing stuff out. They seem to be wanting to take more pride in their home now and want it a certain way when their friends come over.

[job]

It's best to address one topic at a time and keep your text and email messages very short. Their attention span is that of a gnat.

[Georgiabelle]

^^^^^^^^^^

This is gold from Job.

[Lifes Twists]

So, I just got some good news. On Friday I was told I would need a lung biopsy and most likely a lung transplant. On saturday I had a CAT scan in preparation. I went in today and there has been a dramatic reversal of the lung condition. I think the pulmonologist was at a loss for words or explanation. We are now looking at other causes that may be treatable including allergies and acid reflux. I am going to take this as a sign that my fortunes are changing for the better.

[LoisB]

Miracles DO Happen!! I'm so happy for you Life. :-)

[job]

That is good news. Hopefully someone will find the reason for the issues w/your lungs and provide the right medication that will help ease the medical condition w/o surgery.

Stay positive!