Thanks MB. I hope my D 17 does find peace and a new beginning. That was my intention behind this move although I didn't have the understanding or support from any of my family which I didn't need but would have been nice to have. I went to church today with my S 16 which was nice. Then I bought The Relationship Cure and I Thought It was just Me (but it isn't). I am want to learn and better myself although I'm not happy of the situation that was the catalyst for the change, I have to make the best of it. I did feel frustrated at having to put the beds together and not having my STBXH help..Grrr I will get it done just will take me longer. Just need to see moments like that as learning. Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming like Dory says lol :-)
Me 34 M 2.5 (Both 2nd M) My kids-D 17,S 16,S 12 BD 2/14 D final 7/2014
Thanks Thornton. I'm having a hard day today and sorry for the TMI but my depression and anxiety feel worse so I feel panicked and really sad. I'm trying to get to the doctor asap as the longer I let my depression go the worse it gets. I know I can do this on my own just feel hopeless today. It's gotta get better eventually
Me 34 M 2.5 (Both 2nd M) My kids-D 17,S 16,S 12 BD 2/14 D final 7/2014
Sorry for my earlier post. I'm just having a hard day which I don't think I've had in a while. I thought I had made progress in accepting the D and detaching and then a day like today feels like a setback. It seems to be like that. Also playing Bocce at the same house brought up memories of my STBXH and happier times. Silly how a small thing can cause such a strong feeling.
Me 34 M 2.5 (Both 2nd M) My kids-D 17,S 16,S 12 BD 2/14 D final 7/2014
Yep, I know all too well how the memories can haunt you. I couldn't go to the grocery store for weeks after the bomb because that was what WAW and I would do every Sunday. I had to go to another store just to avoid those feelings crashing down on me in aisle 4.
Hang in there Csan. And don't worry about venting here, we can all relate.
My STBXH has cancelled the session for tomorrow as he has a doctor appointment and doesn't want to take any time away from his kids who are here for the next 3 weeks before they leave back to PA. It hurts but I can understand. I just need to keep living and take care of myself and my kids. Starting to think I need to let go of trying to DB. I will go to the appointment anyway and use it for my closure
Me 34 M 2.5 (Both 2nd M) My kids-D 17,S 16,S 12 BD 2/14 D final 7/2014
He texted me about moving the rest of my furniture out. He offered to find a truck to help...guess he wants it all gone asap. Another hard day for me. I did text him that I wished him well and I hoped things remain civil. Not sure if I should have done that. It [censored] that I am back to feeling sad about our M ending and he is going on like nothing especially after telling me he still loved me and was trying. Guess it was all lies and I am an idiot and fool for letting myself get hurt.
Last edited by CSan00; 07/08/1410:59 PM.
Me 34 M 2.5 (Both 2nd M) My kids-D 17,S 16,S 12 BD 2/14 D final 7/2014
