Well on the fourth of july I went to see the soccer match at a resteraunt and during the day WAW kept texting that the cable box is broken and how does she fix it...etc etc. I got angry and shut my phone off. Well the next morning I had 2 missed calls from her and 2 texts:
W- Are you going to come over and do fireworks with the girls?
W- let me know either way...the girls are asking.
So in the morning she calls and asked what happened that I didn't answer her texts. I told her my phone died and it was in the car. so she said to come over and say bye to the girls.
I went over on Saturday and she looked very sad and trying to be friendly, I was indifferent to her and very confident and in a good mood. When I said bye to the girls she was sitting at the table in like a daze. I went up to her and kissed her cheek and told her to drive safe. As I was walking out the door I could have sworn I heard her mumble I love you....I just left like if nothing happened. well its Monday and there has been no contact whatsoever from me to her or her to me. People told me that on facebook she posted pictures of them on vacation and a fish my youngest daughter caught. Makes me so freaking mad that all of cyber space knows my daughter caught a fish but her own father has to find out from a third party. Man it pisses me off!!!
Me: 42 W: 39 D: 2 age 6 and 9 D-Day: Dec 29 13 Seperated: 3/20/14 Mediation retainer : 5/20/14 She filed: 06/25/14
You should not be pissed off. You can ask your W to let you speak to your kids through skype or talking. I doubt your W will deny you access to talk to your kids. It is up to you to keep up with them.
Me: 42 W: 32 Married 7 years together 8.5 S1: 7 S2:7 Bomb #1: 09-16-13 Recon #1: 11/13 A discovered 04-03-2014 W filed D 05-19-14 but never served me I filed D 12-02-2014 S 05-31-14 Divorced 5-19-16
I agree with the others. You shouldn't get angry or let it get to you. Just let it go as getting so angry and upset isn't going to get you closer to your goal. Act as if and work on yourself.
Me 34 M 2.5 (Both 2nd M) My kids-D 17,S 16,S 12 BD 2/14 D final 7/2014
I can somewhat understand what you're feeling. I don't know for sure, but I think W blocked me from FB awhile back (she says she didn't) so that the only thing I can see are when she posts profile picture updates. FB has been known to be screwy sometimes, but who knows. Anyway, there are times when I have family members and friends ask me about pictures that she posts of her and the kids. At first, it sucked because it always felt like a blind side. Why couldn't she share that stuff with me? After awhile, I kind of stopped caring and decided to take the high road. I would send her pictures of the kids every now and then when we were out doing stuff together. I would get the response "They look like they're having a good time." Eventually, she started sending me pictures of the kids when they were off doing things while I was at work.
Maybe the same will work for you? Extend the olive branch by sending pictures of the kids (don't include yourself) and maybe she'll start to think to do the same with you? Maybe some of the vets can comment on that.
M:35 W:31 S: 9 D: 5 M: 11.5 yrs BD: 5/13 W moved out: 7/13
Oh come on! FB is nothing but a facade of what people want their life to look like, but it is stupid to let it affect your feelings.
She is experiencing feelings she doesn't like. She is trying to make others believe she is happy with her decisions by posting these "happy" pictures. But you saw the real side when she was sitting at her table in a sad daze.
My advice is to NOT reach out to her at this point of the stitch. No offense to anyone, but extending the olive branch is seen as pursuing in the eyes of the WAS. A WAW must experience this loss of having her H and the family life she had when they were together. How will that happen if you are Johnny on the spot extending an olive branch, soothing her emotions, and being the better person. These sayings all sound sweet, but This not the time. It will simply set your stitch back.
Get your big boy pants on and stop acting like a silly teenage girl over this FB business!
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Sandi2 yes that's what im doing, taking my balls back..lol like my friend says . You are right about the facebook thing, I shouldn't let it get to me. So far sandi2 you have been dead on, throughout my sitch everytime ive been indeferent she pulls in and would always get me to come back, then guess what...she closes up again and im left hurt. I need to protect myself at this point and hold on to my guns...if and when she is ready to work on the R, she will tell me, until then...bombs over Baghdad.
Me: 42 W: 39 D: 2 age 6 and 9 D-Day: Dec 29 13 Seperated: 3/20/14 Mediation retainer : 5/20/14 She filed: 06/25/14
everytime ive been indeferent she pulls in and would always get me to come back, then guess what...she closes up again and im left hurt.
Here's the thing....guys misinterpret what the woman's doing. They think it's a good sign when she pulls in, but she is temp checking to see if she can still affect him. When she sees you respond, she has her answer and looses interest. You have to play a lot harder to get...and for a lot longer.
Don't take her to mean a thing, b/c it is only a test.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Sorry oad for hijacking but I would live to get sandis input on my last couple of posting. Sandi if you get a free moment I am potentially in the middle of one of those spots right now. Any input from you would be greatly appreciated. Thanks
Me: 42 W: 32 Married 7 years together 8.5 S1: 7 S2:7 Bomb #1: 09-16-13 Recon #1: 11/13 A discovered 04-03-2014 W filed D 05-19-14 but never served me I filed D 12-02-2014 S 05-31-14 Divorced 5-19-16
. You are right about the facebook thing, I shouldn't let it get to me. So far sandi2 you have been dead on, throughout my sitch everytime ive been indeferent she pulls in and would always get me to come back, then guess what...she closes up again and im left hurt. I need to protect myself at this point and hold on to my guns...if and when she is ready to work on the R, she will tell me, until then...bombs over Baghdad.