Not sure I am doing this rt. But my post is 11 pages now and there is no room for adding. Old post neb in needs help.anyway today not off to good start. Wife and I planned to take kids to parade and then cookout and fireworks tonight. I got up at 630 and did 15minutes bike ride. I got home and everyone was up. Ask boys if they wanted to pick some berries in yard.we went out in yard and picked berries for breakfast. During breakfast D12 wanted to talk about parade her and w were talking and she wanted to ride in church float since she spent 3 hrs working on it. Wife didn't like idea u butted in and said I thought she could. Mom said she take d and I take boys, I said I thought we should all go early avoid traffic. She then pulled me outside and said you take to parade I take to fireworks, I said now you want to change plans, no you take to parade I take to fireworks. She then brought up I won't talk to her about D. I said we just talked thur nothing has changed since then. She then got angry and started on about cost of attorneys taking me for everything etc.. more noise. I said look you said you couldn't live with me and you were getting apt.now she says she doesn't want to move out..I said look this A stuff going thru a D is wrong. You claimed it was going on and that was a lie. I can't reason with you when your lieing. Got up told the kids I wasn't going to parade and I would see them later. 15 minutes wife called and said why don't I come to parade. I said no we can stick to your plan.I will see you later. When I got home I asked her if she wanted to get a sitter and go out and talk tomorrow night. She said yes. I had a DB coaching session set up anyway for today. It worked out great coach who I have had 4 sessions with said there is no reasoning with w in an A. She suggested take focus of off me tomorrow and just ask her what has made her happy in her life. Show concern and let her know that I know she loves kids and ask her what her concerns are for kids. The other night she came in and told me she had a rough day.she felt guilty and was scared. I told her my philosophy on making major decisions was to ask myself if this decision will make me happy and will it make everyone it impacts happy. If it does I move forward if it doesn't I know it's the wrong decision.she then went to bed
M 54 W 48 T 19 M 17 D 12 Twin S 6 Twin S 6 Ilybnilwy 1/26/14 A discovered 2/3/14 D filed 7/25/14 Sumons served 8/14/14
Do you even know what it is she wants to talk about re D?
What is your goal in not talking about it with her?
Have you seen a L?
Is a D going to be complicated because the marriage has lots of assets?
The question you mention in the end, the W has probably answered it for herself and she's moving forward with the decision she thinks is right for her. She wants out.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
I guess she has. She certainly hasn't given me any sign she was still contemplating. However from day 1 when A was discovered.I toLd.her she was free to go but she needed to see a psychologist to discuss What issues this could bring daughter. Since it was her 2 yr softball coach. Then she told me A was over. That was 5 months ago and now she adm it's it's still going on. This is after she cried and cried and told me how sorry she was. I can't stand the lieing anymore. But she is going to be the one to initiate I want nothing to do with it. She needs to feel what she is doing to our family. Our problems are fixable she comes from a broken family and that's what she knows. She wants to be freinds and I have zero interest in being her freind. Freinds don't treat each other how she has me through this. She always complains about her guilt and being scared. She wants me to empathize I tell her these are her circumstances brought on by her. I want to be her H not a freind, get a dog if you want a freind
M 54 W 48 T 19 M 17 D 12 Twin S 6 Twin S 6 Ilybnilwy 1/26/14 A discovered 2/3/14 D filed 7/25/14 Sumons served 8/14/14
Well la bug I took your advice.wife and i went out tonight. Went to park for couple hours and then to dinner. At park we started out small talk. I asked her a few questions that I think we're helpful. 1. I know you love are kids what do you think is best for them. 2.what does she think would make her happy. 3. What does she want out of life. We sat for 10 minutes in silence and she said she would get back w me. I know she struggles with self esteem, I told her I was proud of how she has mother ed our kids.she was raised by depressed mother. She got pretty emotional and said thank you. It mention alot to her. Anyway dinner was good, we actually had a good time. Some how it came up she thought I was good kisser, even told me shirt looked good on me. We talked about joint parenting a little and thought are kids are so attached to both of us we should 50% custody. All in all good evening. She initiated hug and kissed me on cheek. Went to bed
M 54 W 48 T 19 M 17 D 12 Twin S 6 Twin S 6 Ilybnilwy 1/26/14 A discovered 2/3/14 D filed 7/25/14 Sumons served 8/14/14
Well la bug I took your advice.wife and i went out tonight. Went to park for couple hours and then to dinner. At park we started out small talk. I asked her a few questions that I think we're helpful. 1. I know you love are kids what do you think is best for them. 2.what does she think would make her happy. 3. What does she want out of life. We sat for 10 minutes in silence and she said she would get back w me. I know she struggles with self esteem, I told her I was proud of how she has mother ed our kids.she was raised by depressed mother. She got pretty emotional and said thank you. It mention alot to her. Anyway dinner was good, we actually had a good time. Some how it came up she thought I was good kisser, even told me shirt looked good on me. We talked about joint parenting a little and thought are kids are so attached to both of us we should 50% custody. All in all good evening. She initiated hug and kissed me on cheek. Went to bed
M 54 W 48 T 19 M 17 D 12 Twin S 6 Twin S 6 Ilybnilwy 1/26/14 A discovered 2/3/14 D filed 7/25/14 Sumons served 8/14/14
I am not sure what to believe. She is definitely in mlc. She was telling me how bad she felt about not taking a teaching job she had offered. She was blaming part of it on me last week. On her sneaking out at night . She tells me she was just driving around and she slept in car. I am not believing her. My gut tells me different. Anyway when she talked about D b we talked about kids and how our kids are so dependant on us. No grandmas, we haven't had any help from anyone really. I know that hit her like a ton of bricks. I just got to keep on rolling.
M 54 W 48 T 19 M 17 D 12 Twin S 6 Twin S 6 Ilybnilwy 1/26/14 A discovered 2/3/14 D filed 7/25/14 Sumons served 8/14/14
When we talked about her feeling almost overwhelmed. She told me I seem so happy w kids, my work etc.. she brought up idea of me getting a apt. I asked her why she kept pushing that. We talked about her not being engaged with kids in last 9 months. I said your the one is telling me you need your space. If you can't feel like you can stay with us to get apt. She agreed.
M 54 W 48 T 19 M 17 D 12 Twin S 6 Twin S 6 Ilybnilwy 1/26/14 A discovered 2/3/14 D filed 7/25/14 Sumons served 8/14/14
We did get into some conversations about her dad, mom growing up, death of her brother etc.. she has had a tough life. She has mentioned several times about just needing to be alone.
M 54 W 48 T 19 M 17 D 12 Twin S 6 Twin S 6 Ilybnilwy 1/26/14 A discovered 2/3/14 D filed 7/25/14 Sumons served 8/14/14
She asked me what would make me happy. 2 what I want out of life. I told her I would get back to her on that one. She is going to a different church today. I am t Taking our kids to our church.I was getting things at store when she called me to tell me this.
M 54 W 48 T 19 M 17 D 12 Twin S 6 Twin S 6 Ilybnilwy 1/26/14 A discovered 2/3/14 D filed 7/25/14 Sumons served 8/14/14
