Wow Sandi... great post. I'm can going to copy this to my phone and re-read every day. I have definitely been trying to be her friend in recent times but it seems she has simply being using that to get things she wants because I won't say no... because I want her back and if she's being friendly with me when asking a favour I get all excited and jump right in and say 'yes' hoping that she will remember this down the line and wake up one day and go... "he's been there for me so I think I'll take him back".
M 35 W 31 D 10 Married 3 years Together 11 Single since Nov 13 Moved out Dec 13 ILYBNILWY, 'I don't want to be a boring housewife, 'I don't fancy you any more' OM confirmed Jun 14
sandi2...that is the same thing my friend is telling me, he is a little more colorfull...he says "Dude take your balls from her and put them back on", you are right sandy, I need to continue on my path for me not her!! Ever since you gave me the advice of indifference, I have noticed she contacts me more and is more friendly, I should not have hung out with her last night. I should just move forward with my life without her in it...fake it till I make it. I think what would the 22 year old me say if we ran into eachother today? he would think im a wussy!!! In the end being indifferent helps regardless of if she returns or not. Its for me!!! got lots of plans for the weekend and im doing them, boating, soccer, the keys...Daddy is gonna have fun for once!!! thank you sandy I hope you continue to be a presence on my thread, it really helps me and im very appreciative!!!
bashy its all good...I hijacked a thread to get sandi back
Me: 42 W: 39 D: 2 age 6 and 9 D-Day: Dec 29 13 Seperated: 3/20/14 Mediation retainer : 5/20/14 She filed: 06/25/14
Heh oad. Much appreciated. We're all here for each other and when I read threads like this it lifts my spirits and gives me a little fire in the belly. Enjoy your weekend my friend. I have friends coming to mine for a BBQ and to watch the World Cup.
Sandi...thank you again!!!!
M 35 W 31 D 10 Married 3 years Together 11 Single since Nov 13 Moved out Dec 13 ILYBNILWY, 'I don't want to be a boring housewife, 'I don't fancy you any more' OM confirmed Jun 14
sandi2...that is the same thing my friend is telling me, he is a little more colorfull...he says "Dude take your balls from her and put them back on
Guys seem to able to say that to "dudes", and remain friends.
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Ever since you gave me the advice of indifference, I have noticed she contacts me more and is more friendly,
It works better than anything I know. If you act cold or angry.....it turns her away. If you peruse it turns her away. But not giving a care one way or the other.......draws her in. Crazy, huh? But it's her nature, and she can't help it. She wants to affect you somehow!
Quote:
I think what would the 22 year old me say if we ran into eachother today? he would think im a wussy!!! I
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
quick question though on the indeffrence.... ive never turned down her request to talk, should I shut it down, no more talking with her unless its about the kids...not be there for her emotionally until things change?
Me: 42 W: 39 D: 2 age 6 and 9 D-Day: Dec 29 13 Seperated: 3/20/14 Mediation retainer : 5/20/14 She filed: 06/25/14
Good question oad. Adding to that sandi, and this may sound like a silly question, but what's the difference between being cold and indifference? How do I/we 'do' that?
M 35 W 31 D 10 Married 3 years Together 11 Single since Nov 13 Moved out Dec 13 ILYBNILWY, 'I don't want to be a boring housewife, 'I don't fancy you any more' OM confirmed Jun 14
I hope you continue to be a presence on my thread, it really helps me and im very appreciative!!!