"Speak Softly and Carry a Big Stick"

[GoatGal]

Guess my previous thread locked.

Again, not sure how to post my previous two threads.

(Also, I'd like to post the link to the pornography addiction forum if it's allowed.)

Thanks!


--GG

[Cadet]

(Also, I'd like to post the link to the pornography addiction forum if it's allowed.)

Dont do that it is not allowed!

Previous threads

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...411#Post2461411

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...255#Post2447255

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...647#Post2450647

[GoatGal]

Thanks. I wasn't sure, that's why I asked.

[GoatGal]

Is there any way to recover a post I was writing?

I got booted out halfway in for some reason.


Thanks.

[Cadet]

Is there any way to recover a post I was writing?

I got booted out halfway in for some reason.


Thanks.

Probably not - although sometimes I use the back arrow key and I can recover my posts that way.

[GoatGal]

Nahh... I tried that, no luck.

Man. I was on such a roll!


Thanks, Cadet.



PS: Tried to open my thread and I got an "Error Establishing Database Connection" message.
Don't know if that's on my end or not. Never happened before.

[Cadet]

No I think it is a UBB code, the forum might have been overloaded or the server it is running on.

It does happen from time to time.

[GoatGal]

Any insight on why stopping pursuit, detaching, and GALing more might result in a nasty backlash?


H has been rather pissy the last few days since I really amped up my GAL/Detaching/Dropping the Rope.

He left abruptly on Sat afternoon when he'd been talking about staying late, or even staying over.

Then he texted me late Sat. night saying "C ya Monday", implying he was not going to be here Sun as planned, and as usual, to take care of the animals.

(He knows this is a huge chore for me and the weekends are the only time he really does what's needed.)

When I texted back asking if he meant he wasn't coming Sunday, he was curt.
"Well YOU said it would be good to have some time off..."

(That convo was several days ago, and referred to him maybe taking a weekend day off SOME TIME... or me getting a break. It was NOT planned or discussed that he'd be MIA Sunday.)

I sent him a copy of the text he'd sent me re: weekend schedule.
It clearly stated that he would be here all weekend.

He texts back "Guess we got our signals crossed." "OK. BYE!!!"

I am really ticked at this point, but I STFU.

I finally texted back. "Sorry. I disagree. Goodnight"

And let it drop.

--------------------------


Sunday evening he texts back,
"Sorry about the mixup on scheduling, have a good DJ gig."

I text him:
"Apology accepted. Please just in future ask me if I can cover and be clear about scheduling. That would help a lot. "

I get this pissy text back from him swiftly---which makes little sense except that it's clearly telling me to go suck an egg:

"Well... NO. From now on WE will exchange schedules but not based on whether or not you can cover. Just to make sure the kids are taken care of. Unless you have to go down south to take care of your mother"

I BIT MY TONGUE.
I felt he was really pushing my buttons, trying to control me, telling me how WE were going to handle things.
---------------------------

This is his new way of being nasty, bullying me with the fact that he is the breadwinner, and HE gets to make all the decisions. It happens every time he doesn't get what he wants from me.

But I STFU again. It was tough.

I finally texted back. "I'm not sure what you meant and I want to make sure I don't misinterpret what you wrote...."

He texts back: "Never mind, have fun DJing. I'm tired, going to sleep. Be safe"

So I'm glad I didn't bite his hook, even though he baited it pretty well for me.

I THINK he is attempting to get a rise out of me for whatever reason.
He almost did!


But I decided to ignore this nasty spewing and instead concentrate on his actions.
He texted me several times to update me on whether or not he'd be here tonight and why.
He texted me on his way to the meeting, once during dinner, and again just now.

In future: He needn't ask if I can cover, but I reserve the right to say
"NO. I can't" when given his schedule.

I must prepare myself for a financial backlash.

But on the upside, it appears he has put my email back on the bank account so I am again getting notices of withdrawals.
I didn't get any for almost a month, suspected he'd done this in another foul mood.
This sort of thing is worrisome, but I'll handle it if it gets worse.

I also know he is monitoring my spending, and has let me know by saying 'Oh, did you LIKE that wine store?" and "So I see you were at the music place..."

He can't monitor my phone anymore, so I'm sure this irks him.
So he looks to see where I've been. And mentions every little thing.
Not to complain about the money, just to "let me know"...


I have nothing to hide... it's just--weird.


BTW: I have been very nice, pleasant, smiling, friendly, happy. Just detached. Just not asking him for anything.
Just getting on with my life and not shoving his nose in it, but letting him see that I am busy, have friends, and am getting things done with or without his help.
I am not contacting him or reaching out for reassurance at all.
I respond to him in a light and breezy manner, very calm, very sweet, imagining all good things.

And he is MAD.


----GGG

PS: All this nasty stuff is SO UNLIKE the guy I married. It's mind-boggling.

[Wonka]

GG,

Take a look at Matt's thread over in MLC where I've explained the MLC perspective on GALing and why we get mad at your activities.

And you might want to think about pitching your tiki hut over in the MLC forum to get more support for we are like minded and just darn goofy & charming!

[GoatGal]

Wonka Has Spoken.

"Goofy and charming"?
Can't wait!

I'm heading over to Matt's house now.
I'll bring some torches and a ukulele...