This parasite is not worthy of your time or mental energy. He is just some lowlife scumbag that has exploited a gap in your relationship.
Calling his phone number will achieve what? He'll either laugh at you, manipulate you or use it against you somehow. Why give him the satisfaction?
There is only really one legal and moral way to get rid of him. Show yourself to be a far better man than him. Show that you are capable of fulfilling the needs that this clown is doing, but much better!
At the moment, everything you're suggesting is playing straight into his hands.
Suspected EA: Feb 2013 Bomb drop: Mid March 2013 Separation: Mid April 2013 (I fought for marriage) Filed for Divorce: April 2014 Accidental Exposure of affair: June 2014
This parasite is not worthy of your time or mental energy. He is just some lowlife scumbag that has exploited a gap in your relationship.
Calling his phone number will achieve what? He'll either laugh at you, manipulate you or use it against you somehow. Why give him the satisfaction?
There is only really one legal and moral way to get rid of him. Show yourself to be a far better man than him. Show that you are capable of fulfilling the needs that this clown is doing, but much better!
At the moment, everything you're suggesting is playing straight into his hands.
Yes your right. The fact that she is starting to wonder if he is controlling I think shows she may be questioning this OM.
She even keeps telling me she loves me, kisses me hello and good-bye.
I have to show her I am the better man.
W 53 H 51, S 16, S 21 33 years M 28 DD 3 Feb 11, 2014 S21 and His Fiancée move in with us 8/14 http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...965#Post2477965
I am so tempted to call him and tell him everything ....everything she lies to him about!
GO to some other site b/c THIS SITE IS DIVORCE BUSTING and you are clearly NOT following the advice given here or the books.
YOU just said you have to "stop THINKING about OM" and here you are, AGAIN trying to manipulate outcomes and that means you are still into the whole controlling thing... Have you actually read any of the DIVORCE BUSTING books?
READ THEM AND DO WHAT WORKS...stop mixing up approaches b/c that does a disservice to all of them.
nothing you have done, has gotten your wife to return for good. STOP focussing on her or OM and focus only on you...good grief this is frustrating.
You keep deflecting off of yourself. What are YOU DOING, TO BECOME A BETTER MAN? You know, the whole "become a man only a fool would leave",
and btw, that is about YOU, not her!
You have your own issues (for the life of me, I must be the only one to have read your whole thread ---it is long).
But you have been physically rough with her, you do a TON of scorekeeping, which you forget that she does as well and on HER scorecard you are not ahead, and your own son expected your marriage to fail.
What is DIFFERENT about how YOU behave now?
Why won't your wife fear that if she returns to the m, you'll be just like you have been in the past--
but worse, b/c you'll keep obsessing and TALKING about the R and blaming...??
If I were contemplating leaving a man with your control issues/lack thereof, my biggest fear would be a reversion to exactly how it was before the BD.
You give her ammo every day that you will indeed make this all about how great YOU were as a h (as if all of the problems began with OM, which is a lie)
and how the OM is a POS. What good has that done, YOU? Sure, it keeps you from looking in the mirror but if you'd spent half your energy on your own self improvement that you spend blasting OM, you'd be a lot farther in this process.
The more you try to corner her, the faster she'll want to run. I don't see the cake eating so much as a toxic dynamic all the way around.
You control you, and then the dynamic might change.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
25yrs and I probably agree maybe 25% of the time, lol. Typically very different approaches, at least on the surface. The fact that we're both -- hell, we ALL -- are telling you the same thing OUGHT to tell you something.
The Tough Love thing has to be done on us BS/LBS's too.
Honestly dude, unless you get yourself straight in the head and heart (for your own benefit), this whole process will eat you alive. You'll do plenty of damage to what's left of the relationship too.
Most of our wives not only take our hearts when they go, but they'll take our balls too if we're not wearing them at the time.
Suspected EA: Feb 2013 Bomb drop: Mid March 2013 Separation: Mid April 2013 (I fought for marriage) Filed for Divorce: April 2014 Accidental Exposure of affair: June 2014
I'll tell you what, "This thread is hot!" Now, drop the rope and let it burn, Ox." We're kicking you in the rear because we understand and don't want you to tailspin into the gutter or take a dive into the pit. You're spiraling down and need to read and reread Sandi's list and all the DBing books. You obviously are educated and not wanting to use that head of yours. It's critical you get that head screwed on. I know. Been there and THANK GOD I didn't do anything yet that I regret. Just do it. Stop talking and start taking the DBing action. GAL 180 drop the rope Do you get it? This DBing is Tough Love on steroids!
W 53 H 51, S 16, S 21 33 years M 28 DD 3 Feb 11, 2014 S21 and His Fiancée move in with us 8/14 http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...965#Post2477965
