thanks heather, my classes have come to an end and the reality of having to get a job is setting in.
i woke at 4 am in a panic. I prayed a bit and felt better.
I have been at this of 2 years. I need to move on!
I have to remind myself of the not nice things h has done. His good qualities still are in the front of my brain. I need to file those away.
h is choosing to move 1400 miles away.
M48 H50 M21 T26 S20 at college),S17,D15-cp, dev. delay- cogniv 5yrs old PA confirmed 7/2012 H separates 9/2012 H move home 2/13& 7/13 lasted 2weeks.ILYNILWY OW still in picture. h filed 10/13
these guys are crazy- they take on their "burdens " willingly- then want to whine and blame us when they're "not happy". i am not sure why in the world men seem to think everyone is entitled to "be happy" allllll the time.
every single thing in life has it's upside and it's down- the whole r, family, etc....
i feel like a "burden" myself. all the time. i offer to get lost and he can be free of alll the burdenness of me. he convinces me to stay(?) "til you find something better", wtf??? "my financial sitch will be alot easier with hinm around"??? wtf - he is creating his own burden of me by wanting to keep me here so - what? i can be his "safety net" of some sort.
don't buy it- they're big boys. they have gotten themselves into what they are - the good and the bad.
they all need to man up and take their lumps along with the good (lots and lots of good they've derived from us over the years - which now doesn't wseem to even register.
hope you're okay- i think they know how it affects us to hear that- diminishes us- etc.
dont let it man.....
xxo
i Maybe you'll be plelsantly surprised that the job will actually be kind of "freeing" and feel good to be out there interacting in an office again. (my own surprising feelings when i got working a bit again. - but i am amazed and pleased that i like it- the routine and socialization. i was dying to stop working when i did- differnt life - different feelings, etc. sddenly it's "good for" me and feels good too. who ever woulda saw that coming???
fingers crossed - i hope you find something great and love it.
yes, I hope to find something great and love it and will thank my lucky stars! I would really just like something part time in the beginning.... just fear how I will get it all done -and not even all, but just get say dinner on the table for example. i am a big whiner. Plenty of women have been doing it for years.!Being a single working parent. Its my jealously at play here... my weekend will be catching up on laundry, groceries,paperwork meanwhile h is all la-di-da He said he wants D to come visit him 1400 miles away. My initial response was no.
I know I have to allow him to see her, but it needs to be here and on her schedule. he has never had her for more than an overnight while living here. He wants to parade her around his new place like he is some great dad.
Glad to hear from you Nero! we have made it this far!!
M48 H50 M21 T26 S20 at college),S17,D15-cp, dev. delay- cogniv 5yrs old PA confirmed 7/2012 H separates 9/2012 H move home 2/13& 7/13 lasted 2weeks.ILYNILWY OW still in picture. h filed 10/13
hey, does anyone have experience with SSI and child support/ spousal??
M48 H50 M21 T26 S20 at college),S17,D15-cp, dev. delay- cogniv 5yrs old PA confirmed 7/2012 H separates 9/2012 H move home 2/13& 7/13 lasted 2weeks.ILYNILWY OW still in picture. h filed 10/13
Is there anything specific in the separation paperwork about visitation. How does your daughter handle changes to her routine? I spoke to lawyer about these concerns and she said I would have to prove it was beneficial to s to maintain a steady routine (ie: not the half week in one place half in another h claims will happen when he gets around to moving out)
Sorry don't know about s so lost ours years ago. Just got s on waiting list for innovation waiver.
Me 44 H 42 M 10 T 12 (at time of BD) Ss 20 16 S11 (special needs)
BD 9/13 H "unhappy for years" moves to seperate bedroom 10/13 EA/PA confirmed but denied S and I move out 3/15
Julie, in the dissolution proposal my atty sent to my H's atty, we are asking that he only visit D11 at her home bi-weekly because of her anxiety. IF D11 feels comfortable, then he can take her elsewhere. She has already spoken up for herself on this matter and refuses to leave the house with him. In my case, Smokey has made things a bit easier, so to speak, because of his long absences/disinterest in her life.
I'm not sure what his atty will come back with?? But, you can definitely ask for what YOU feel is appropriate for your son. Back it up with the opinions of his doctor, counselor, teachers...the postman...anyone you feel will back up your request.
Will, does your daughter already collect SSI? I've been considering it...but, I'm waiting until the dissolution is settled. I don't know if SSI should factor into the child support formula.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
for me it will more so impact my D when she turns 18. we then have to obtain guardianship thru the courts for her.She won't ever live on her own. We will always make medical decisions for her. It is at that time that we apply for SSI, but more importantly she will then be eligible for medicaid. There has to be a minimum amount of money in her bank account. Most(all) states end child support at age 18, but I will need or it to continue. h will agree, but we have to be smart and do it in a way that doesn't penalize her. we have to be smart and talk about this now and not wait for wait and see.
The custody is a non-issue. h is moving 1400 miles away. He did say to me he wants her to come visit him in his new place. i immediately said no. I said it is too far. he can come see her here anytime he would like. I also pointed out that he said he wants to see her "when he can" I asked him, what about times when she wants to see you?
the kids have become accustomed to h not being here. Its been a full year now since his 3rd move out.
M48 H50 M21 T26 S20 at college),S17,D15-cp, dev. delay- cogniv 5yrs old PA confirmed 7/2012 H separates 9/2012 H move home 2/13& 7/13 lasted 2weeks.ILYNILWY OW still in picture. h filed 10/13
Most(all) states end child support at age 18, but I will need or it to continue. h will agree, but we have to be smart and do it in a way that doesn't penalize her.
In Ohio at least, there is something called Wright's Law where you can ask for longer support based on a child's special needs. I'm for asking for support until she is 21. Whether I get it or not is another story...D11 is HF Asperger's...however, I'm still asking. Will, I would think you would have no problem getting a longer term for child support.
Last edited by LoisB; 07/11/1412:54 AM.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
I do believe h will continue to pay for her support. This was the first summer I had to put her in camps because of my class schedule. She does great and has a great time.
I am lucky where I live that we have some great resources/opportunities for spec needs kids.... part of a bigger plan, I believe! anyway, she can't just go the ymca camp. and usually these camps are a little more pricey.
bottom line is h wants me to get a job.
M48 H50 M21 T26 S20 at college),S17,D15-cp, dev. delay- cogniv 5yrs old PA confirmed 7/2012 H separates 9/2012 H move home 2/13& 7/13 lasted 2weeks.ILYNILWY OW still in picture. h filed 10/13
