Not sure if I am doing this right.. is anyone even reading this!? Haha.
I bit the bullet and ended up emailing him today. I had to ask him to bring me something when he flies in next week anyway, but I admit that I did take the opportunity to reiterate that I think he should stay with me. It is literally a less-than-24-hour visit, so I think it's important.
I get that this is NOT GAL-ing or detaching, but I feel my situation is slightly different. I wanted to allow myself this as a one-off. Once he leaves the country again, though, it's back to business. I won't email unless he does, etc. I'll continue with what I am doing: looking for a job, trying to find friends, etc.
I wish I could offer some advice but a long distance relationship is foreign to me. I don't know how people do that. You guys were together for a while and now he's gone, if assume there isn't much to do except live your life to the fullest. I mean, you should live your life to the fullest regardless, but him being in another country should make things a bit easier to detach.
Good luck:)
Me-35 Com law-28 S-3 T-6 yrs w/14 mnth bu 1st bu- 2/2012 Rec-4/2013 2nd bu-10/2013 IC-2 yrs(anger issues) MC- 5 mnths-fail OM~1/1/14 OM dumped 6/4/14 New OM ~10/4/14
HI. I understand - but I guess, you know, for 7 full years, it wasn't a long distant relationship. We lived together for 7 years straight and the 10 months of LDR that occurred immediately before the BD was simply out of necessity.
I guess the reason I find it hard to "buy" this whole thing is because he literally moved across the world for me 4 days before he BD'd. And while many skeptics would probably question whether he actually did move, trust me, he moved. There are so many loose ends you have to tie up when you're moving and they were all tied. He's still undoing those knots.
It's true, I am able to detach easier than most, but I guess that's not 100% what I want. I have gotten my own apartment since the BD and I am making the most of this new life, but it would be nice if he'd join me in it. I guess I just feel like he showed more signs of a MLC than anything else.. it isn't as simple as "We're over" etc so I feel like hopefully he'll do a 180 of his own.
Keep postitive but have no expectations. I have my fingers crossed for you.
M 35 W 31 D 10 Married 3 years Together 11 Single since Nov 13 Moved out Dec 13 ILYBNILWY, 'I don't want to be a boring housewife, 'I don't fancy you any more' OM confirmed Jun 14
I'm looking at this just like any other relationship on here where one 1/2 has gone AWOL or refuses face-to-face contact. (I've seen a few.) Sure, the "living in different countries" thing makes it difficult, but not impossible. Especially when I consider the fact he's flying 24 hours to get here, spending 24 hours to get the visa, and then flying 24 hours to get back home... that's a LOT of effort for someone who's apparently not sure we should be together.
Getting a bit nervous now. He arrives here in four days.. he hasn't decided, apparently, whether he will stay at my place or not, but I guess the "overnight" part isn't the important part. I would be happy if he would just spend the day with me, hanging out. I know it will be difficult, but it's important.
After that, it's back to only emailing if/when he emails.. hopefully that won't come back to bite me.
He's been offering to help me with certain things lately.. because I left his country without knowing I wasn't coming back, I still have a lot of things to deal with (e.g. taxes, etc). I don't know.. I know it doesn't *mean* anything that he's offering to go meet my accountant for me, but it does trigger a feeling of "well, that's nice."
I wish I had some good advice for you..other than not to ask him again if he is staying with you, I don't have any advice but I want you to know you aren't alone and someone is reading..
M 46 H 44 D 12 S 8 M 9 T 11 BD 2/15/13 "Makes sense to stay together" 5/12/13 Agree we are 'healing' 7/13 Definitely Piecing 9/13
Feeling pretty frustrated today. Ex was due to fly in tomorrow morning, spend the day with me, and fly out the next day. Sure, it wasn't exactly much after 6 months of NOT seeing each other, but it was something.
Well, he missed his connection and is stuck at the airport for 24 hours. So, what was going to be a 27-hour visit is now going to be a 3-hour visit.
That's terrible. *hugs*